jayeofmanyhats!

New Year New Post

2011-01-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

So what went on in 2010?
tweeted daily at www.twitter.com/jayeofmanyhats
started a podcast with my partner in crime Yaggles23 over at www.zombievsshark.blogspot.com and
had a blast at many many great functions
including watching my baby
(The Annual Vocque Halloween Film Festival)
turn legal at the ripe old age of 18.

So what is going on in 2011?
More of the same
but with adding more to this blog (including a whole new revamp),
a website dedicated to the Annual Vocque Halloween Film Festival,
djing more parties,
writing more scripts,
possibly performing my one man show "I am...",
and lots lots more.

STAY TUNED!

3 years later...

2010-11-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

2007? Seriously? That was the last official post to my blog? Wow!
Until I get internet access at home this will be very sporadic.
HOWEVER if you need your jayeofmanyhats fix
Please follow me on twitter @jayeofmanyhats
OR....better yet......
JOIN ME ON http://www.zombievsshark.blogspot.com/ for our soon to be award winning podcast Zombie Vs. Shark!

My Top Ten Favorite Horror Movie Posters

2007-10-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

Simple. The first SAW poster had a severed foot, disgusting yes, but it didn't (for lack of a better term) get under my skin as this poster did. Yes SAW was a better movie then SAW II, but something about these ghostly fingers which have obviously gone through hell standing alone that are just plain disturbing.

Okay so this one made the list for the tagline alone. This movie was okay but the poster gets straight to the point. Someone is going to be eaten.

This is what a horror movie poster should be. A absurb balance between grotesque and erotic. The man sits alone with one of the most frightening objects in horror movie history but it sits as an extension of himself, as a phallus. You all see it, don't deny it.

Okay so I have no clue if this movie is going to be good or not. But earlier in the year I saw this poster and I can't wait. Simple image, combined with a killer tagline. My cup of blood...tea I meant to say tea.

This gave horror movie fans a collective hard-on the second it was released. Two of the biggest icons in horror movie history on one poster. Enough said.

Okay so this was a B-movie at best. But this poster with the Frankenstein eye made me want to see it. And isn't that what a movie poster is suppossed to do?

Sometimes the simplest images get to you the most. A solitary man, trying to stand against pure evil. Haunting image, powerful and a truer statement on film making and putting the feeling of the film on a poster has never been said.

This is a testament to this film. Sure you can try and look back and make fun of this film all you want. But it got you. I got everyone. The press for this film and it's "true" story started a year earlier. When everyone saw this poster we all thought we were going to see a Docu on the last days of these college students' lives. Brilliant ad campaign and still one of my favorite movies because of it.

Something about the double face on this poster of the little girl haunts me to this day. It is an excellent film (and I believe everyone should rent it this year if you are looking for a good Halloween movie you have never seen before). The poster says it all.

When I saw this poster I jumped for joy. I am not kidding. Ask anyone who had to see a 300 pound man giggle with excitement in the Lodi theater. I felt the movie was great anyway. But this poster sets the mood for this film and got you prepared for what you were going to see. As a good poster should.

The Latest Edition of "What’s Pissing Jaye Off?"

2007-10-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

Okay so take this statement as complete fact: "It takes A LOT to piss me off." Also combine it with this other true statement: "When I don't like something, everyone knows it."

Those things being said let's move on to this blog, up to you weither or not you wanna stop reading now....

Still with me? Then let's begin this rant!

5> REALITY TELEVISION

Oh I know it is popular to bash reality television, but remember I have been doing it since the only "reality tv" was COPS and THE REAL WORLD. I hated it then, I despise and megaloathe it now. Are you fucking kidding me? DO I have to see 30+ skanks dressed like horny high groupies trying to get into bed with a washed up rock star? DO I need to see a bunch of people cook for an hour? Do I need to see minor celebrities getting tans? Tone deaf morons thinking they are great singers because mommy told them so. Crack whore 16 year olds saying that they had it rough because daddy bought them a Prius instead of the Benz they really wanted? Idiot pretty people parading around saying models get a bad rap for being stupid while the fall into pools to drunk to stand in the model heels? This is what is dumbing down our nation to the point of labrats. That's unfair, lap rats at least know they have to keep moving in the maze to make it the the cheese. Reality TV robs our country of one of it's most important national treasures...IMAGINATION. Our forfathers "imagined" a free world. Our grandparents "imagined" space travel. Our parents "imagined" no more war. Now war is just another reality television show.Now all we can do is "imagine" who will be America's Next Top Chef/Model/Star/Idol/Beauty/Geek/Dancer/Rapper/etc. to sleep with Flavor Flav/Brett Micheals/Tyra Banks/Simon Cowell... I sit back and "imagine" it all goes away...SOON!

4>TODAY'S COMEDY MOVIES

Okay let me start by saying, THE FORTY YEAR-OLD VIRGIN was stupid! Okay It had to be said. It was an aweful waste of film. I couldn't even finish it (which is rare, I usually push myself through any movie no matter how bad it is, hell I finished FearDotCom, Dr. T & the Women, and Perfume for god's sake and they were all shitonastick). I am assumming the 40yearold Virgin finally "got some" and they all lived crappily ever after? But look at what this has spawned. Superbad, Neopolean Dynamite, Knocked Up, Blades of Glory, Reno 911, The Heart Break Kid, etc. etc. etc. Do I really have to list all the crappy comedies people are raving about how funny it all was. And they all compare themselves to The 40 Year-old Virgin, why? It made money and people said it was funny. Okay I am gonna take it's power away then. These movies are not funny. Forgive me, I like my comedies to be...what's the word I am looking for? Oh I know...FUNNY! I am looking at you Kevin Smith for help, you've done it, you are funny, could you show these people what funny is again? If not then I will call in the reinforcements, Steve Martin, Ivan Reitman HELP ME! Look I am not bashing all of today's comedies. I laughed hard at Little Miss Sunshine, Hot Fuzz, Clerks 2, and Music and Lyrics (if that doesn't prove I have a diverse taste in film I don't know what does?) Will the rest of you fall in line please? No more Harold and Kumar, no more Super Troopers, no more Beer Fest, no more...just no more you are starting to make me cry everytime I go to the movies and see another ad for another brainless, gutless comedy with nothing but crude, cruel "humor" and I use that word lightly.

3> The News "FEAR" Factory

Ah you thought it was only the light stuff, the pop culture that I was gonna attack like I usually do. I try to stay away from polotics and religion, no point in me attacking these things, others do it well enough, plus whose mind am I really gonna change or enlighten? But this is increasing and I need to say my peace at it. Look we have enough to be afraid of in life without you newcasters blowing everything out of proportion. Do you have to make every minor flu outbreak sound like it is the begining of the inevitable zombie holocaust? Do you have to remind us every night that the terrorists are still waiting for us behind the IHOP? Does it get you off to sit there and thinking of all the people you are forcing to get up lock the door take more meds etc? Does it? Well knock it the fuck off!!! I am saying this as calmly as possible. People are scared all the time! YOu won already Newscasters! You don't need to rub it in! Fear is not something you should be just throwing around. Does nobody else remember the boy who cried wolf? I do! The last time I was honestly afraid while watching the news was when I was 12. It was a full hour report on the Africanized Honey Bee, The KILLER BEE and how swarms of these pissed off little fuckers were headed right for us. Told us to buy duct tape, painters masks, get flu shots ( like that would help against little stingers desperate to kill me). I spent my allowance on duct tape that month. was ready to tape up ever inch of my parents home the second the news told me to. They never did. They never even told me what happned to all those little yellow and black assassins. They just moved on to the next big fear. That pissed me off, I felt betrayed, let down. And because of my growing distrust, hatred, contempt for the news and the people that reported it I didn't even believe in 9-11 until I saw the towers fall with my own two eyes. You see what I am saying? You shove fear down people's throats so much that they gag and get used to swollowing it in full sound bites. Until one day, when something happens that they should actually be afraid of and instead of being afraid like you always wanted them to be they just go out and buy a couple more rolls of duct tape just in case the antrax pisses off the Killer Bees.

2> Weight Loss

I have been big my whole life. I want to loose weight for health reasons. I don't need to look better, have you seen my girlfriend? She is HOT! And she likes me big. So it isn't for the reasons others feel forced to shed pounds. Stop it! You are not fat! Any of you! Not a one of you! If you are "overweight" and it is causing health problems then YES do something about that, you need to stick around. But if you are trying to get rid of extra weight so someone will notice you, so you can wear the size you used to, so you can convince that guy or girl to go to bed with you, so you can get a better job, so you can finally "do something" with your life, KNOCK IT OFF!!! You are beautiful the way you are. Start worrying about how you treat others, how you live, what you do. If those things are all in check and you are a good person, fuck those stupid people that don't notice you! fuck that size you used to be! You are this now! And you are good! No you are better than good, you are a perfect creation! You are a beautiful creature! And if everyone listened to this then those people so hung up on looks that they don't notice you in that way WILL notice. You aren't ugly because you are a couple of pounds overweight, you aren't ugly because you are a hundred pounds overweight. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the only eye that should matter is yours, so stop looking at yourself through the media's unblinking eye, and look at yourself in the real light!

1> People getting attacked for their opinions

Okay so you think different from me...WHO DOESN'T? You have a different political party, religion, job, background, set of morals, taste in music, taste in film, taste in food, taste in sex, sexuality, gender, family life, friends, car, etc then I do. Hell that just discribed many of my best friends. If you disagree with what I said about The 40 Year-Old Virgin earlier, you are free to do so. You can even go off on all the things you feel make that film "great" in your opinion. That is what it is there for...your opinion. Just like I am allowed to express MY opinion. However way too many people out there feel that it is okay for them to say their opinion and you can agree with it or shut up. That's just doesn't fly with me. If you want your voice to be heard, you need to be willing to listen to other's voices, otherwise no one will listen to yours. Each of my friends have very interesting views on this world, love, religion, polotics, movies, music and hell I would be lying to you all if I didn't say that most of the time I disagree with their views. And I tell them so. ANd when I say something that they disagree with, they say so to me. But every once in a while we find someone who just feels they are right about this and you are without a doubt wrong...guess what buddy boy? That just doesn't fly with me. You disagree with me, GREAT! That is what makes you unique. But if you are so set that you are right that you will refuse to listen to me, or write me off as a friend just because we don't see eye to eye on one thing then I guess what I need to say to you is Grow the Fuck Up!!!

I could go off for pages and pages on all the things that piss me off right now. FARTS: guys they aren't funn, they just stink, knock it off. PEOPLE HATING WHITE CHOCOLATE: I like it better then dark or milk, it's not bitter, I like my candy sweet, that's why I eat candy! GWEN STEFANI: You were barely talented enough to lead a band, and you proved that you can't be a solo act by choosing music that none of your fans would like.

Like I said I could go on and on, but I will stop now for your sake. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

SF never smelled so good!

2007-09-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

The show was a great hit in SF. I loved every second of being there. I am sure I could go on and on about every detail however I am not going to. I will be giving HIghlights of reviews of the show, how I felt night by night, the audience reactions, and my comments on other shows I saw will all be posted over on the BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS myspace page. Not a friend of BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS yet? Go add it NOW! Because this show isn't over yet.

Now however the highlights of the SF trip.

The 3 Crack Stories!

1> Standing outside the Exit Theatre awaiting a show a gentleman comes up to a group of performers (myself included) carrying a paper tray with fried chicken and toast. In his other hand he has a paper cup of water. As he asks us our names, etc. we notice he has only one tooth in his head and it is blue. Not green as in decay, but blue as in Kool-aid. I thought to myself "how long has it been since he had kool-aid?" He spoke to us for a long time and ate while he then decided he was done with the conversation he said "well, I am gonna go do some crack, see you folks around." We stood there dumbfounded, too many jokes ran through my head. Finally I settled on "Hmmm....so that's what they meant by Bluetooth. I just don't see what the big deal is. Why does everyone want one?" We all get a good laugh and carry on our talk about our shows, audiences and one awful show we had all seen until I got to thinking about good old Bluetooth again. I spoke up saying "you know I didn't think about it until he brought it up, but crack sounds really good right now." I left, they laughed, never found Bluetooth again.

2> Leaving CJ's (or Carl's Jr. to anyone who didn't stay at the Y last year) a man walked up to me and said "Hey! Man, wanna buy some crack?" I was shocked. Not because someone was trying to sell me drugs in broad daylight, but because looking at me you can clearly see that crack would NOT be my drug of choice. Maybe he was trying to be nice and help me shed some unwanted pounds, like a "Crackin to the Oldies" workout. Or maybe he figured if he got me hooked he had a client for life, it would be years before anyone even noticed I was on crack. I politely said "no thanks" and continued on my way.

3> Outside the Y I see a man doing crack. I coughed, because I had something in my throat. He snapped around and begain yelling at me for coughing at him while he was doing crack. I started walking away towards the front door of the Y too which he commented "Oh wait man you live here? Shit I'm sorry brother are you okay?" Ah Sympathy from a crackhead!

Total Strangers are just the best at making you feel at home.

1> Outside OJ's (or Original Joe's to anyone not ever in SF during Fringe Fest) a well dressed man in an overcoat and stereotypical 90's "pimp hat" called me Chris and threw his arm around me. He talked to me like we ain't seen each other in years. Gave me a hug, I said I would see him later he said "you know I will be around, I is the A number one pimp in San Francisco Chris my brother." I responded with a hearty "Oh I know you are my man." And he left. I turn back to my group, their mouths agape asking "who was that?" My answer: "beats the hell out of me." I love SF.

2> Heading back to the YMCA to change into my costume for the show I accidentally bump into a guy tweaking. I say I am sorry and he begins to bump into me over and over again sounding like a broken record saying "gimme your wallet." Before I could respond a homeless man who sleeps in front of the Y throws the tweaker against the wall saying "don't fuck with this guy, he lives here." The tweaker ran off, I gave the homeless guy a couple bucks and it felt great to be "home" again at the Y.

3> Riding BART with a couple of the actors a large man strikes up a conversation with us. As he talks he asks what we do. I go into schmooze mode and sell the show. He slams right back with schmooze mode of his own and gives us all half off cover charge passes to his business, which according to the business card is home of the "World's Longest Lapdance." And I thought WE put on a good show?

4> Opening night party one of the shows had these rub on tattoos to plug their show. Now they were all attractive women, I was drunk, they were touching people to put these tattoos on, and everyone in my cast was getting them. So I walk on over and show them I have plenty of AD space left on my bald head. The one gal says, are you serious? I say sure and she calls the rest of the girls over to help because as she put it "this is my first head!" I love the Fringe Fest!

All comments on the show and performances themselves will be on the BLOG at www.myspace.com/barroomphilosophy101 ASAP. Join now!

And stay tuned to this blog for all my stories of this year's stay at the YMCA, where we could get ourselves clean and have a good...well...kinda

Show Soundtrack

2007-09-02T19:03:00.001-07:00

Music plays a key in every show I do. Especially this one. For the first time ever I asked the cast to help me put their own unique touch on the show soundtrack. We have songs that represent the actors, the characters, the script and the reactions I have recieved over the years about this show. I hope you enjoy this soundtrack as much as I do.

POOR YORICK'S PUB & GRILLE Jukebox Selections

5-I-1 ... VOODOO CHILD- Jimi Hendrix
2-B-2 ... RIVERSIDE IN JUNE- Rich Phipps
20-T-3 ... OH WELL- Fiona Apple
9-L-4 ... TUBTHUMPING- Chumbawamba
4-B-5 ... A LITTLE RESPECT- Erasure
6-F-6 ... WICKED GAMES- Chris Isaac
13-H-7 ... WITNESS- Sarah McLachlan
32-G-8 ... GOOD RIDDANCE- Green Day
6-X-9 ... KARMA KILLER- Robbie Williams
10-O-10 ... DON'T FEEL LIKE DANCIN'- Scissor Sisters
7-M-11 ... GREAT INDOORS- John Mayer
11-S-12 ... IN BLOOM- Nirvana
8-Q-13 ... WHEN I GROW UP- Garbage
1-K-14 ... UNDER PRESSURE- David Bowie & Queen
17-U-15 ... STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR- U2
27-J-16 ... HE'S GOT A WAY WITH WOMEN- Harry Rosensteel
19-V-17 ... WONDERWALL- Oasis
21-R-18 ... YOU'LL ACCOMP'NY ME- Bob Seger
6-P-19 ... FEELIN' ALRIGHT- Joe Cocker
3-D-20 ... U & UR HAND- Pink

They say it's your birthday...

2007-08-27T14:02:00.001-07:00

Look at me! I am not only admitting it, I am blogging it. Yes you heard me right, after 30years of hiding from it, here I am out in the open saying Today, August 27th, is my Birthday. Not only is it my birthday it is my 30th Birthday!

SO what happened? Why after all these years did I suddenly turn around and say "fine I have a birthday." Well Karene started it. She makes me very happy I am here. Beyond that Karene threw a surprise birthday party for me (and as most people know I HATE THAT SORT OF THING.) But this time something was different. I looked around and I realized that I love these people around me. I would do anything for each and every one of them and they love me. So maybe what people were saying all those years was right, maybe birthdays are about letting the people you love show you they love you back and they want to celebrate you.

Enough of that. So let's chat a bit about 30!

As per several discussions I have had recently (with Karene, Lori, Anna, Tony, Cathy, and Elmer, the major influences in my life) I have come to an impass. I am 30 years old and way too old to be wearing a uniform for $7.50 and hour and only working 4 hours a day. I have 12 years experience in Special Ed. and with Mentally Handicapped Individuals, it is time I not only put that experience to good use but also use it to my advantage. So I will be actively searching for employeement in said feild.

Also, as per our talks, I realize it is time for me to grow the fuck up! I want a family. I want to be a Dad. I want marriage, house, kids, dogs, cats, etc. Yes I love doing theatre, but I have to stop letting that control my life. I would love to do it all the time, or even do it for a living, but that is not happening anytime soon so I need to stop letting that be my first priority, no more letting that dictate what work schedule I can have. As long as I have time to write and get to direct one show a year I will be happy.

Speaking of priorities and getting them in check I guess that's what this birthday is all about. Seeing what I want and finding my way to it. I want to write for a living. How can I do that? Well... START WRITING! That just may help! I was so focused on acting and directing and the like that I set Barroom Philosophers on a shelf for 10 years. It had plenty of company with several other scripts. Time to clear the dust and get my ass in gear. What more do I want? I want to satrt my family life. I want to get married, and yes Karene is that one for me. I guess I have always known it. She knows it too. We have talked a lot about it. And it just may happen sooner than you may think. No I am not jumping into anything...JESUS I have been wanting us to be together for 15 years, you think that is long enough? She is my High School Sweetheart, My first Real Love, and I will be lucky enough to have her on my arm for the rest of my life.

But in order to have any of that I gotta grow up. As Tony said "I understand, suddenly I have a family." He does, so does Elmer. Maybe it's time I join that world. Sure it's tough, but much much happier. Tony also mentioned something that was dead-on! "just because you need to grow up in certain things, doesn't mean you have to grow up in everything." Ain't that the truth. I still am young enough to have fun, see the world, live life, enjoy friends, eat spicy food, dance like no one is watching, and do all the silliness I am know to do. Just gotta balance that with becoming an adult.

Hmmm...30 ain't such a bad year. In 2007 I got a great roommate, who is a true blessing. I have an amazing show going to San Francisco that I wrote am directing and starring in, and with this wonderful cast we are gonna kick major ass. I now I am together with the love of my life. My life is starting at 30...don't get me wrong the first 30 years were a blast, time to move on, time to live up to my profile name, time to enter the next phase, next level, and time for Jaye to be happy and proud to be...well....Jaye.

Happy Birthday to me!

My Week in Heaven!

2007-08-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

Long story short, I have a perfect girlfriend, who I got to spend a wonderful week in Heaven with.

Short story long, here is my blog.

Thursday, August 16th was a day I was nervous about, excited about, in awe of, and awaiting in giddy bouncy anticipation. (Ask my roommie, she had to deal with me being all giggly and smiling...listen to me.) At 11:28am at Sacramento airport arriving on Delta flight 7766 was my angel. The woman who has saved me more times in life then I can even count. Karene Sandra Morris came down that escalator and back into my life, this time forever. Okay first of all I think airports hate romance. You can't surprise people at that gate anymore, otherwise I would've been the first face she saw off that plane. Instead as she was coming down the escalator her friend Karla surprised her and called her name. Which was fine. I am good at improv so I leaned on the nearest post and simply waited. Karla gave me a great set up and slipped in "Oh by the way, Hi Jaye." Karene whipped around and threw her arms around me. I knew I was home.

That afternoon, we had lunch at Hard Rock and walked around Old Sac with Karla. We ate pop rocks, held hands, smiled bigger then I ever thought possible and when I got the chance to kiss her lips we both melted. We made it back to Lodi pretty early and was able to get a few people to come over and meet her. Those few people grew into a few more and a few more by the time we got back from Strings and played games and laughed. She says that she laughed harder this week then she has in years. We made plans for another gamenight (or so I thought) on Sunday night and parted ways. That night I had no insomnia. That night I slept deep and strong with her in my arms.

Friday we took the long drive to San Jose in order to see Elmer and his kids. Karene and Elmer haven't seen each other for years. We got to play with the kids and invented a great game of Anarchy Balloon War with Matthew and Haley and Elmer. We laughed joked and had an amazing day. We left for Sunnyvale and our "four star" hotel. Rather then spend the $60 it would take to fill the truck to go back to Lodi and then head back to Santa Cruz where we were spending the next day we spent $48 and got a room at the Pacific Inn in Sunnyvale. On entering the room and I use this word lightly. We discover as Karene said "where is the bed?" I pull back a curtain and open the cabinet to reveal our big beautfiul short full Murphey Bed. After a lot of laughter we realized how funny it would be the two over 6 foot tall people were sharing a Murphey bed where our feet hung over. Not being tired we went into San Jose to see a flick at the AMC Mercado. The next movie that was starting that we wanted to see was The Invasion. It was a good remake of a remake of a remake, we both found some problems with it but over all enjoyed it. Made it back to the hotel and fell asleep (again, I slept!)

We woke up in time to go down for the lovely continental breakfast, you could barely taste the fact that the eggs were powdered. Went back upstairs and watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith while getting ready to check out. I made coffee in the room, drank a pot and we laughed again about our room (I hadn't laughed this hard in years, yes I laughed out loud, ask anyone that was around us.)

We took the beautiful Highway 17 into Santa Cruz and started our great day in my favorite city with my favorite girl. We had dinner at a great dinner with horrible service where the pier meets the boardwalk. And after we walked the peir, took pictures of seals and went to my favorite candy shop where I got Karene a Dark Chocolate covered Strawberry, never was more jealous of a piece of fruit before in my life.

We then walked hand in hand, shoes off (yes I took my shoes off) in the Pacific Ocean the entire length of the beach, honestly the first time I have ever done that in my life, and god it felt good. Tony, Cathy and Anna joined us for some rides and fun on the beach and all I could say was I was "having a good day."

The next morning I had to work. (BTW I even slept that night). When I got off work at 1:30 it felt great to come home to Karene. We had lunch and layed on the couch and watched The Whole Nine Yards. A little after four we made it to Jeanine's for "game night." Which as it turned out was a surprised party for my 30th birthday. Everyone was really happy to be there and were also quick to tell me Karene planned the whole thing so I couldn't be mad. She is the only woman that I wouldn't be upset at for doing this. It was uncomfortable at first but I finally understood why people celebrate birthdays and for the first time I had a good one.

That night after the party and after my wonderful roommate went to bed we snuggled up on the couch and watched Casablanca. Yes you heard me right. I will write it again becasue it feels so good to say. I WATCHED CASABLANCA WITH A WOMAN! My firends know exactly what that means. Again I slept...

The next few days are a blur. Just a very very happy blur. I know we hung out with Lori. I know we went to Sonora to see a show at Sierra Rep. I know she watched me direct and loved it. I know we went to karaoke. I know we danced to Fly Me To The Moon. I know we sang "Suddenly Seymore." I know we had Chinese Food with Tony and Cathy. I know I laughed more and loved harder in that week then I ever have in my life.

I also know that Karene feels she just somehow got ten years worth of friends in one week and I need to thank each and everyone of you for that. I am surrounded by great people and I love you all for that.

I don't want to mention the long ride to the airport. Or the time I spend on the way back home without her teary eyed. I don't want to talk about these things. Just want to think how happy I was a week long. And how she is the one who makes me feel like I am worth being happy, being loved.

And as I write this I talked to Karen and found out she is already looking for jobs in CA. She left Thursday at noon.

The only thing I have left to say is........

I now understand what every love song means.

How Jaye is Feeling NOW!

2007-07-30T22:41:00.001-07:00

For dear friends and readers of my blog the title of my blog may look very very familiar. Earlier in the year, while going through some dark times, I posted a list of songs letting you all know how I was feeling. I even encouraged you to download these songs and give them a listen so you could really look inside my brain. Well I have always loved telling a good story through music (ie. mixed tapes). So here it goes. Round Two! Here is how I am feeling NOW! Go ahead download them (illegally) and give them a spin. I bet you can tell the difference in the cds right away.

THE HOW JAYE IS FEELING NOW CD

1. Everything- Michael Buble
2. Better Now- Collective Soul
3. Ultrasuede- Matthew Sweet
4. Wink & A Smile- Harry Connick Jr.
5. Lips of an Angel- Hinder
6. She's The One- Robbie Williams
7. Travelin' Through- Dolly Parton
8. Something- The Beatles
9. Lucky- Greg Khin
10. Just Like Heaven- The Cure
11. Crazy Little Thing Called Love- Queen
12. I Wanna Be There- Blessed Union of Souls
13. Suddenly Seymore- The Little Shop of Horrors Soundtrack
14. Extraordinary- Better than Ezra
15. Girl Inside My Head- Blues Traveler
16. I Do- Uncle Kracker
17. Boston- Augustana
18. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic- The Police
19. Fever- Ray Charles and Natalie Cole
20. To Make You Feel My Love- Billy Joel

Downloading starts.....NOW!

Kickin' it Old School!!!

2007-07-24T15:03:00.001-07:00

Okay so I skipped work and went to X-Fest on Saturday.

But in order to explain WHY and What was the reason I had such a damn good time? I need to go back in time quite a bit.

Rewind 17 years. There I was a fat white kid from the farm. I washed tractors for three months to save up the money to go to my first real concert (if you don't count state and county fairs). It was Digital Underground! Okay so you may be asking yourself "Wait, Jaye the first album you ever bought was Queen. You are a huge Beatles fan. And you hate today's rap music. Where does Digital Underground fit in?" Okay here is time to embarass myself to the point of tears. This is a secret I have kept from even my closest friends. Many people do not know this and now I have to let it out in order to put things in context.

I wanted to be a rapper back in the day. I know I know. I could rap at any speed with the best of them. Even tried my hand at sctratchin'. I could never write my own rhyme or free verse it. But I was damn good at memorizing the works of such greats as Run-DMC, The Beastie Boys, Young MC, Public Enemy, Black Sheep, Ton Loc, and of course Digital Underground. Don't you laugh! I was good! Hell I was great even. Other white boys tried to step up and make fun of me. But thanks to Ahmed (my only Black friend at the time) and Enrique (I think the name says it all) I got some street cred. If fact. Ahmed was so impressed he took his scratchin' skills (which he coulda gone pro) and added my rappin and entered us into a talent compitetion. There in front of a crowd of peers he introduced himself as "DJ A-Fresh" and then he said the words that sent a chill down mine spine and to this day am embarassed to admit the alter-ego he gave me that day on stage..."White Chocolate." We rocked the place with The Humpty Dance (and as some of you have heard at Karaoke places, I still hit that groove.)

Well the dream died. I knew I could never be a rapper. And I hid "White Chocolate" away from the world. All of my friends now did not know me then. Even my oldest friends do not know the horrible truth of my alter ego. Rap music changed from fun, dancing, sexy to angry, evil and violent. I hate rap music now. Where is the Tootsie Roll? Who is still down with O.P.P.? I don't wanna slap a hoe. I don't wanna pull my nine. I just wanna rock the house with my mad rhymes. Hey I do gotta give credit to The Black Eyed Peas, they are kickin' it "old school" not hate mongering like the rest of them fools.

Let's get back to Saturday. The second I heard Digital Underground was gonna be there I just had to be in the house. I needed to feel young and free again. Back when dreams were alive. Back when I was "White Chocolate." For a guy turning 30 this year, I had to go back to the old school to put things into focus.

I listened to TEMPEST when we got there. They rocked but I could barely hold my excitement to the fact that Digital Underground was next! This is where I had to admit to the group I went with, WHY I was so excited about Humpty and the crew. They laughed, they joked, I was offended, I mean I know how it sounds...me? White Chocolate? Hahaha Hell, I have to laugh too.

I was in awe as the DJ spun some records while Digital Underground took the stage. Without a doubt, White Chocolate was in the hizzle. They were great, as I expected them to be. I even got a little misty eyed when The Humpty Dance came on. And had other emotions coursing through my body when the finished off with Freaks of the Industry.

Young MC was there too. He is still amazing. I am gonna go out and illegally download his new album. When "Bust A Move" came on and I was dancing with some hotties I felt like I was back in 8th grade at a dance. I even looked over my shoulder to make sure the princepal wasn't gonna stop my freakin'.

Fast forward through Blue October. They were good but between a drunk chick saying I was "hot for a fat guy", helping a tweaker crowd surf, and almost getting into a fight because a guy wouldn't stop slamming into my friend and her girlfriend, that concert left a bad taste in my mouth. I needed to keep it real that night.

While waiting for the crowd to die down Joanna (I woman I owe a lot to now) looks over by the stage and says "hey isn't that Humpty?" It was! And I was freaking out, but trying to stay calm. I walked up and asked if I could take a pic with him. He said yes. And another friend took the pic. I mentioned he was the first concert I went to and that being here made me feel young again. He thanked me and went on his way.

I sent out a text right away saying "I MET HUMPTY!" Many many people didn't know who I was speaking of. Without thinking I sent back. "Come on. You know! My main mellow man Shock G!" Realizing I was letting "White Chocolate" slip out into the open a bit too much!

As soon as I get the pic I will post it ASAP. Come on how often does anyone get a pic between Skippy and Shock G. Or when White Chocolate met Humpty. For now I just gotta say.

"Alright stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that you're used to."

Word! Peace out! White Chocolate in full effect!

It's the Final Countdown! (no, not that crappy 80's song)

2007-07-18T16:43:00.001-07:00

Wow! Have I been busy!

Let me update you a bit. I got a job. I am working for a major retailer chain. Not WallyWorld. Think of the spot. Yep! That's it. Beyond that I haven't done much.

Had to say goodbye to my monkey. He is off in LaLaLand going to make it big and famous. And I guess now is as good a time as any to say this. Monkey and Sada moved down there and are going to make it big. I just know it and I wish them all the luck in the world. Them heading down has given my amazing Roomie Lori that push she needed to decide to move down there. So around Feb of 08 Lori Lori will be heading down to LaLaLand. I will be putting my stuff in storage and crashing at my folks house through the summer of '08 (so I can hopefully do THE FULL MONTY). However, after that I will be packing up my scripts and heading south to join Lori. That's right, you read it correctly. I will be giving Hollyweird another shot. This time not as an actor, but as a writer.

And speaking of writing. You may have noticed a countdown on my page for the opening of BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS in San Francisco. This is my first play to be performed and I am a bit nervous. I will be writer/director of the piece and now...lead actor. Yep, I am treading the boards in SF one more time and stepping into the shoes of my lead chacter Paul. This is not and was not an easy decision. I was convinced it was what was best for the show. As of 20 minutes ago I finished the final touches on BARROOM. I am very very very proud of this show and I thank Anna, Rob, Cathy, Barbara and Karene for all the good feedback and advice. I can not wait for everyone to see this show that is ten years in the writing (see I do finish things).

As far as that other countdown on my profile is concerned. I have been asked many many times now who this Karene person is. It's complicated. But let me give it a shot. About 15 years ago I met this amazing girl who would forever change my life. She was without a doubt my first real love. I fell hard and fast. And somehow I convinced this angel on earth to date me. We dated for about eight months. Saw The Lion King together (still can't hear any of the songs with picturing her next to me). Kissed in my buddy Ben's pool. Were two innocent teenagers in love (which was very special because I had lost what I though was all my innocence years before). She stole my heart, that is if you don't take into account I wrapped it and gave it to her. Then she moved. As often in teenage love stories her family moved so off she went. We tried long distance, but miles, among other things, got in our way. It's odd, here is where most of these type of stories end. Not for Karene and I. We stayed in touch and she came back to California only twice since then. She moved again and again. I dated again and again. I was always searching for someone like Karene. (HERE'S WHERE I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING TO ANY OF MY EXES WHO MAY BE READING THIS, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE THIS PERSONALLY I DO NOT MEAN YOU WERE NOT SPECIAL TO ME IN YOUR OWN WAY). I found my thoughts going back to her, and it caused a lot of problems but I gladly dealt with them because I knew that Karene was my first love. My most recent break up got me thinking alot about love and life. And I realized a few things. I do believe in true love. I do believe in happily ever after. And the person I wanted that with was Karene. And it was unfair to me and to any woman I tired to date in the past, present or future to try and find that in someone else. SO I decided I just wouldn't date anymore. I knew who I wanted, and what I wanted. Why put someone else through trying to live up to a person they never even met before? Why put myself through the torture of being in love when I knew who I was in love with since our first kiss? SO I decided I would be single and alone from here on out. Here again is where a lot of stories end. But not for me. I tried explaining to many friends why I was not going to date anyone. It didn't make sense to any of them, mainly because I just didn't say the real reason. I sat down and made a list of what I wanted, Karene is everything on the list. So I gave up. I knew Karene and I wouldn't ever be together again. But I also knew that since I believed in true love I had to stop this searching and just be alone if I couldn't be with her. Well about this time Karene was in Florida and began realizing some things of her own. That she had been in love with me for 15 years and couldn't deny it anymore. Thanks to a dream (I still wanna hear all about that one) she woke up one morning and booked a flight to CA to come see me. As I write this my heart is pounding. So between Aug 16th and Aug 23rd my friends will see me happy, in love, hyper, bouncy, young, confident, in other words the people who really care about me will see me the way they have always wanted to see me but never thought they would. I hope you all get a chance to meet her. My real friends have already noticed a change in me just waiting for her to come visit.

Coming soon: the blog about Karene's visit. "My Week in Heaven"

2007 a year of great changes!

"It's amazing what you can do when no one is looking."

2007-06-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

SO the other night at the bar I was asked a couple questions that had one answer. I was asked..."So why did you die your hair?" and "What's with the nails?" (I recently started painting my nails again, not all the time but just whenever the mood strikes me). My answer? "It's amazing what you can do when no one is looking." I think it may have went over their heads. SO let me explain here...

What's the point in all the dress up games we play in courting types situations if the unltimate goal is to get that person naked? I mean it doesn't matter if you stuff your bras ladies (especially since a handful of guys, myself included don't give a shit about the size of your tits) if we are hoping to get that bra off. And guys if that shirt makes your beer belly disappear, remember to turn the lights off when you take it off then. I am just sick and tired of playing dress up for people who aren't looking anyway. Let's face facts here. Sure I am down to 290 in the weight category and I am really puching myself to get even lower. But going from 369 to 290 is kinda like trimming an inch off an iceberg. Sure there is less but who can really tell I am still huge. And no matter what clothes I put on people see me as huge. And until I am "less huge" people won't notice, honestly. So why did I even try to dress nice and dress up to try and grab someone's attention, especially if they weren't gonna pay attention anyway?

So what do I do now? DRESS AND ACT HOWEVER THE FUCK I WANT! If I am depressed, FINE! I am not gonna fake happy just for you or anyone. If I am having a good time I will show it trust me, I did! But if I am comfortable with my hair blonde for a while, then it's gonna be blonde for a while. No one to impress anyway. If I am comfortable with painted nails, then guess what? Nails are staying painted. If I wanna wear a suit, I will. Jeans, I will. Leather pants? A dress? Elvis jumpsuit? Etc. Etc. Etc. If I am comfortable I will!

The thing really is I am not "comfortable" very often. SO if these little things help they are for the better. No one would really describe Jaye as a "happy" person, sure I have had my moments however fleeting. But there are times I just feel BETTER. And there are certain people that make me feel better! So of course I want to be around those people. Those people who see me without looking. Does that make any sense to you?

No one is looking at or for me. And if they aren't looking, I got nothing to show them. But I have a few things to show me. And I am working on showing myself those things soon. A few things are going to be happening with me soon, but I am not ready to talk about any of them with anyone yet. Just not comfortable with it. It's time for Jaye:redux to start living up to his name!

For now I wish to leave you all with a quote I overheard yesterday while walking. "If I had to do it all over again, I still woulda stole that car last summer." God I wish I was that sure of anything! Hehehe

And now...a word from our sponsers...

2007-06-08T16:03:00.000-07:00

Are you tired? Run down? No energy? Depressed? Hate life? Hate yourself? Do you find yourself masterbating more than once a day? Does it feel like everything is crashing down around you? Have others suggested that ONE thing will fix you, however your problems are in so many different areas there is NO WAY that only changing one thing will fix more than ONE problem? DO you find yourself being stupid? Getting drunk? Texting people late at night with things they simply don't need, want or in some cases deserve to hear? Do you feel like a ship lost at sea? Have people suggested you accept Jesus as your very own personal savior because that will fix everything? DO you write random rambling blogs that no one will really read? Have you seriously thought of suicide? Does a vacation sound good right about now, even though you have no money you unemployed bastard? Do you feel guilty looking for work because then no one will be there to help your parents in their old age? DO you feel guilty for helping your parents in their old age because you are not out there looking for work? Have you realized that drugs and alcohol, though fun, are not an answer to anything? Is stressed a word that seems so small it can't nearly describe how you truely feel?

Don't try Jesus!

Don't try suicide!

Don't try pills!

Don't try bottles apon bottles of Jack!

SIMPLY WALK IT AWAY!

That's right! Try walking. Start at your house and keep walking until you get...that's right! BACK TO YOUR HOUSE! Find new places to walk, farther and farther away.

It's good for you!

It feels good!

It takes up time you may be wasting anyway!

And you feel better, not only about yourself but about life in general afterwards!

Clear your mind! Clean your body! WALK!!!

*brought to you by the S.W.A.D. (Society of Walkers Against Depression!)

COMING SOON to the San Francisco Fringe Fest! BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS

2007-06-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

Barroom Philosophers

Original Joe's Cabaret Room
144 Taylor Street (between Eddy and Turk)
San Francisco, CA

THURSDAY Sep. 6th, 7:00 PM
FRIDAY Sep. 7th, 8:30 PM
SATURDAY Sep. 8th, 10:00 PM
THURSDAY Sep. 13th, 8:30 PM
FRIDAY Sep. 14th, 10:00 PM
SATURDAY Sep. 15th, 7:00 PM

See ya at the Fringe!

Random Vocquefied Pic!

2007-06-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

Lodi News article

2007-05-29T11:32:00.001-07:00

End of the world is beginning of director's career
By Lauren Nelson
News-Sentinel Feature Writer
Last updated: Friday, May 25, 2007 11:02 PM PDT

Jaye Lee Vocque has big plans for stage and film. But it doesn't matter if he never hits it big because he'll always have community theater. Vocque, who in his spare time performs marriage ceremonies as an ordained reverend, is the director of "Early One Evening at the Rainbow Bar and Grill" at Vino Pizza. The final performance is 8 p.m. tonight at Gnosis Theater in Lockeford.

For more information, visit http://www.GnosisTheatreCompany.org or call 478-4003.

Q: What is "Early One Evening at the Rainbow Bar and Grill"?

A: I refer to it as a dark comedy and that scares a lot of people. It's really funny, but the humor comes from a dark place. It's a small town, it's a small town bar and the news just went over the wire that the world is coming to an end. There is no explanation why, it's just over. So now, everyone in the town has to deal with it. That's where a lot of the humor comes from. When you have a small town, you never know how people will deal with something like this. There is one guy who shoots his wife and then he goes around the rest of the town trying to find people who did him wrong to shoot them. There's another guy who thinks he has enough money that he can buy his way out of it, which is honest — if you were rich you might think you could buy your way into a bomb shelter. There's another lady who is breaking in and stealing cars because she's never driven a Mercedes. She's never played baseball, so she goes out to the high school to use the pitching machine. She made a list of everything she never did, and now she is going to do it. It has a lot of really good humor, but it's very honest. You have one day left, what would you do?

Q: What drew you to this play?

A: Honestly, it's one those "you can judge a book by its cover." One year while going through (a pile of scripts), this title jumped out at me. I looked at it and I thought, this looks great on a poster. I read the description and really enjoyed it. I sat down and read it and fell in love. I was so lucky that the title I saw was exactly what it needed to be. I like drama, but I love comedy so I need to find that balance in scripts. This is one that the touching moments are very dramatic and very touching and the funny moments are falling-out-of-your seat funny.

Q: What drives the characters?

A: In order for any show to work, the characters have to be honest. Even with the character Willy who shoots his wife, you're going, OK, that's a despicable person. But when he starts describing all of his reasons, you start realizing that it's kind of frightening because you know somebody like that. That's the major push that I do. I tell them they are not playing caricatures or what's written out. You've got to be real or the audience is going to hate you. A lot of time in rehearsal goes into showing people the realism.

Q: How has the audience responded to the show?

A: They all walked away really loving the piece.

Q: What about yourself, how did you get your roots in theater?

A: I started acting when I was in kindergarten. My aunt did a show at Delta College — "The Wizard of Oz." They had a little person playing the mayor of Munchkinland. He fell ill and they needed someone to step in really quickly. My aunt took this little tape recorder and recorded all of his lines and played it for me over and over again. She dragged me in there, I fit in the tuxedo and it worked out great. I was hooked.

In sixth grade I met a teacher, Dr. Morandes, who really loved Shakespeare. So here I was, this little country school — Elkhorn Elementary — and he brought Shakespeare in for us to watch, to listen to and for us to act. Here was a bunch of sixth graders handing us "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and wishing us luck. From that moment I fell in love.

Through middle school and high school, I kept going. Freshman year I went to Bear Creek when it was brand new school. I looked at the classroom and later met the drama teacher and I walked up to the door and I was like, you know what? I'm going to be the first student director. I was. From then on out, I knew directing was the only way to go.

Q: You mentioned working on independent films. Do you have any prospects for that?

A: There are a couple production companies here in town that are working on a movie that we'll start filming soon. With one film, they need an assistant director because the director is also the star. So, they need someone to do his scenes. I have a friend, Liz Fies, in Los Angeles who wants me to in her film that she will film in June. I have a couple of scripts that we've talked about filming. I just need to contact one of the bars in the area to try and use their spot. It takes place at the last empty table in a crowded bar.

Q: Which Lodi bars are you considering?

A: I don't know yet. I really like the booth setup in El Rancho and that works out well. I also went into Mojo's and they were really helpful in trying to get me stuff for the show I'm doing right now — because it takes place in a bar. They gave me a couple of things for my set and said I didn't even need to return it.

I need to finish the script and see it in a life format. It'll be a short film so I'll send it to festivals. I'll hope and pray that something happens with it. If it doesn't, I am so happy doing live theater and so happy getting that audience reaction. I thrive on watching my cast doing an amazing job. I feel like a dad. I've been yelled at, called every name in the book by actors. Then opening night happens and they realize why I did it.

Q: After watching the show so many times, are you still able to appreciate it?

A: There's this one scene that is heartbreaking and makes me start to cry even though I've seen it a million times now. The way the actors perform it and the way the scene is set up, it brings me to tears. I like looking around the audience and seeing who is catching that same emotion that I am feeling. They are seeing it for the first time.

If nothing ever comes out of the independent film, oh well. As long as I have a place and theaters in this area, I will be here doing it.

Contact reporter Lauren Nelson at laurenn@lodinews.com.

Pics Part Deux!

2007-05-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

Last year I had the honor of playing Santa Clause from Stockton's Community Center for the Blind. I had to fill in for my father who usually plays Santa for them. It is a long sad story on why he couldn't do it, but no one at the center knew I wasn't him. I made sure he still got all the credit. Here for my friends however are some of the pics of me as Santa.

Pics

2007-05-25T15:25:00.001-07:00

Beautiful kids! Here is Miss Virginia (Cathy's little girl) and Baby Ronin (Rich and Sonja's little boy)

My favorite Chase, Anna brought me this poster. I love her!

RedSonja found this comic online and sent it to me. If you have ever been in one of my shows you will get the joke more.

With runaway turtles...

2007-05-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a strange strange weekend it's been. Let me fill you in a bit.

I had the honor of officiting the wedding of my oldest and dearest friend Kimberly Prato (now San Gabriel). She was a beautiful bride and the wedding was just plain great! While I was at the rehearsal, dinner and after party; my show EARLY ONE EVENING AT THE RAINBOW BAR & GRILLE (still one weekend left so call 209-478-4003 for reservations) went on without me. I heard they did an amazing job. Which is not surprising to me, they are a great cast who I am very proud of.

Watching Kim walk down the staircase to join hands with her soon to be husband got me thinking a lot. Kim is my oldest friend and the very first woman I ever said "I love you" to. And here I was marrying her to the man of her dreams. This was the tenth wedding I have performed (odd set of events this is the tenth show I have directed for a paying audience) and that has been a lot of very happy brides and grooms (not to mention the casts and crews). I decided to become an ordained reverend in order to do marriages, to be there at the moment where love finds itself in front of everyone shouting out simply how great it is to be IN LOVE. I am in awe of that moment. I am never prouder of being there when I see that look in the couple's eyes as I say "you may now kiss the bride."

Back to my reality however. The show went great again on Saturday...they blow me away every night. Each show I try and outdo the previous show. I set the bar damn high with Tribute and I feel we made it. But then again looking back I set the bar damn high on P.S. Your Cat is Dead but Tribute hit it. And farther back set it damn high with Picasso At The Lapin Agile and P.S. did it. I want to keep improving as a director and am ready to take on all challenges. And I am lucky enough to have some major challenges ahead of me as a director.

On a completely different note I weighed myself today. Drum roll please. 299!!! Holy Crap! I have not been less than 300 since 16 years old. Thanks to lots of excersize, controling my diet, and tons of walks I have made it...49 more pounds to go! Wish me luck.

I am about 70% done with the next draft of BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS and it has some major changes done to it. Hopefully in the right direction.

I woke up this morning and had to jot down something in my head. SO here it is...another new poem.

LITTLE WHITE LINES

I follow
little white lines
on the road beneath me
I see
lines of cars
all getting the hell
out of Dodge
Birds fly over
2 lines
in a V
As the sun rays
shoot lines
of bright heat light
at my windsheild
I squint hard
and catch a glimpse
of myself in
the rearview
and I see
little dark lines
beside my eyes
Connecting all
these lines may
find my way
home.

Lessons from NON-dating...

2007-05-17T12:22:00.001-07:00

So as many of you know I am hitting the four month mark now of being singel since my last grilfriend (The Jaguar) dumped me. This is double the time I am usually single for (being that before the relationship before Jaguar when I was dating a Nursing student my dating cycle went 2 years on 2 months off). After I split from the Nursing student I was single for a little over ten months, making my goal of five times my normal amount of being single. That time "off" helped me figure a lot of things out in my life and made me ready to get into a relationship sgain, this time all grown-up and ready for the rest of my life. That is when I suddenly met the Jaguar. As anyone who has ever read any of my blogs knows I spent an amazing year with her, happy as can be. And now I find myself single again. This time without even realizing it I made it to double my normal time. This amzes me, I am someone who hates to be alone, and here it is four months later and I have barely noticed really. Sure there are many nights I am "lonely." But not enough to just jump into another relationship. Lord knows I don't need that.

But did I make it here on my own? NOPE! I had some major help. This help came in the form of four lovely young ladies who made me feel special, great and amazing. No I did NOT have sex with them. No I am not "dating" them. No we are not romantic. In fact I did not kiss any of these women even. You see we went out on a series of "non-dates" that really have helped clear my head and relax me to the point that I have not killed anyone (believe me my cast thanks you too).

I would like to introduce you to these women and what our "non-dates" had in store for us. However as to not imbarass them I will be using code names quite like I did in my "GEN Y" blogs of last September. However if you are one of these women, or know who I am talking about PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THEIR IDENTITY AWAY! I want them and only them to know why I am thanking them, plus this way maybe I can avoid the whole rumor mill at work!

CODE NAMES ARE PICKED FROM SONG TITLES (so don't try to read anything into the names, and I am not giving any specifics)

1. NAN- She and I have a great deal in common. We can talk fro a long time about movies, music, etc. We have hung out together in large and small groups of friends at parties and karaoke, even had a road trip once. Well recently we attended a movie together, horror flick so I was happy. She enjoyed it on the same level I did, laughed at the same disgusting parts, etc. I was very relaxed and all in all we had a very good time.

2. IRIS- We have stayed up many a late night talking about everything from sex addiction to the inevitable zombie holocaust. She has said on more then one occasion "I never would have thought we had this much in common." I get that a lot. Recently a movie came out that made her think of me. SO she called me up and away we went. We both really enjoyed it, even leaned close to talk about certain cool things about the flick during the movie and previews (whispering of course).

3. JULIANNE- We have played games, stayed up late texting each other all night long, watched movies, and just sat and talked. Recently we did something that ook me back to my first fiancee. We went for a long walk. Couple hours in fact. It felt great just to walk. Even gave me a hint of feeling to go back to the Fringe Fest because all I did was walk there. We chatted about marriage, art, poetry, etc. A very very sweet day.

4. HELENA- An avid single woman she really knows how to make me feel loved, without even trying. She will tease me, and yet at times be so very sweet and honest it could make you cry. We can talk for hours or just sit in silence. We went to a very romantic comedy together, seen a horror flick, and gone out to Japanese food. When she gets drunk she mentions that if she believed in marriage I would be it for her, but we still couldn't have sex. Just what every boy wants to hear.

So all these sweet wonderful days, how do I consider them "non-dates", especially if they seem a lot like just plain dates? Easy! For one reason or another, either on their part, on my part, or mutually, we have never nor will never kiss, touch, etc. These are very beautiful women, who I am glad they choose to spend time with me. Having these beautiful out with me makes me feel, attractive, worth it, etc. But knowing that nothing is expected of me or the day we are having together makes me relaxed and able to just enjoy that time together.

NON-dates: All the fun of real dates (okay okay not ALL the fun) but non of the stress.

Try it! You just might become a NON-dater too!

Why I was kicked out of The Guy Club of America...

2007-05-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

Okay so I have told people for years that I was kicked out of The Guy Club of America. My roommate calls me a lesbian, former co-workers called me semi-gay, and I have been refered as "one of the girls" many many times (and they weren't just talking about my Milkshake). What does all this mean and how did I get here?

So here is the whole story on the "why"s and "how"s of me being kicked out of The Guy Club of America.

First of all I think most of you know what The Guy Club of America is, but just in case here is a refresher course. The GCA is an organization of men throughout America who...well are "guys", "dudes", "bros", etc. They usually travel in packs of other "guys" to place like baseball stadiums, dive bars, strip clubs, and other "dudes" houses to watch various football games, NASCAR, or boxing matches (and the occasional Wrestlemania). The GCA supports such causes as Prostitution, the Military, and just about anything sponsered by Budweiser. "Guys" have one of three goals in their heads at all time. 1> Get laid 2> Get drunk (so I can get laid) or 3> Kick someones ass (so a chick will see it and want to lay me). They will say or do anything to achieve any of these three goals. The diet of a "guy" consists mainly of beer, beef jerkey, beer, steak, beer, potatoes, beer, cigarettes, pork rinds, peanuts, pretzels, pizza, beer, Buffalo Wings, Jalpeno poppers and (you guessed it) BEER. "Guys" LOVE blow jobs and long naps after them. They can be seen in the natural habitit such as Hooters, Centerfolds, Deja Vu, and (insert local dive bar here) bouncing from "chick" to "chick" in search of the illusive and much saught after threesome!

Okay now that we are all caught up on what The GCA is all about. Let's no delve into the lifetime of exculsion I have faced from them and how it came to be that I was officially kicked out of The GCA.

It all begain in the year Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Five. Yours truely was a mere Eight years of age, Ronald Regan was in office, Wham! and Madonna battled it out for the top Billboard spot, Bobby Ewing was run down by his crazed sister, Elmo was introduced, and The Edmonton Oilers won the Stanley Cup, all in all a dark time in this nation's history. My dear brother, who had in previous years introduced me to such things as Gamera and the Blob (the reason to this day I still do not eat Jell-O), sat me down to watch a Three Stooges marathon one fabulous three day weekend on local channel 36. Ah, how he laughed as Larry, Moe and Curly (occasionally Shep) fell, hit each other, and Nyucked things up. I watched in awe as the men performed their physical "comedy" and in more awe of how loud my brother enjoyed their antics. And then I said the immortal words that shall haunt me the rest of my life. "The Three Stooges aren't funny!" Somewhere in space The GCA has a satelitte orbiting the planet (probably placed there sometime during the Battle of the Sexes) foucsing in on such anti-guy language and at the moment my name was flagged.

Fast forward to one hot summer day in August of 1988. Me eleven years of age and at a family picnic. My uncle (a legendary drinker) offers me a taste of his beverage. Ah doesn't everyone remember their first taste of beer? Mine was Papbst Blue Ribbon, one sip and I did what most eleven year old boys did, spit it right out. However I followed mine with a statement, that combined with my comment three years prior about the almighty Stooges would forever put me on the "watch list" of The GCA. "This tastes like warm piss!" My mouth was washed out with soap. To this day two things remain with me of the incident. 1> Was I getting my mouth washed out for trying beer? For cussing? Or was it all part of The GCA conspiracy that "boys" should like beer and I was getting it washed out simply for NOT enjoying that "tasty beverage"? and 2> Beer stills tastes like warm piss to me.

Ah! Good times! Let's remember the 1980's foundly for the moment. Rambo, Battle of the Bay, money money money, a real "man's" decade. God how I hated it! But things were bound to get better for me in the 1990's right? WRONG!

1992 I am a freshman in High School and like most of the male gender constantly horny. Up until this point whereas I had been sexually active I had not been given a job of the blowing. Until one fine day, after school, in a dark corner, near the girl's bathroom, my girlfriend decided to show me the world I was missing. And so she begain. Something did not feel right. Maybe my penis is just unltra sensitive but the sucking sensation actually hurt me. Just when I was going to ask her to stop something tickled her nose and she sneezed. Okay do you see where this story is going? Yep! She bit down, HARD! (Up until 4 years ago you could still see the scar). As if I needed any help in making the decision I had already figured out, this act of penial mutilation cemmented what I later told a "guy" friend. "I hate blow jobs! They are stupid and a waste of time." Bells and whistles went off at The GCA main office (located I believe in Dallas).

If that wasn't enough, we come to 1997. I am in my second semester of college and myself and a girlfriend (soon to become my first fiancee) skip classes and head to the beach. Surf, sun, sand, roller coasters, long walks, making out, and corn dogs insue. The day comes to an end and I need to get her home before her mom gets home and need to get myself home in time to make some excuse on why the family car has so many extra miles on it. My beautiful gal dozes in the passenger seat and it soon becomes clear that I missed a turn somewhere. Where major city lights begin hitting my eyes in the darkness I realize something has gone awry. I pulled the car over. Stopping jars my lady awake. I explain we are a bit off course and I was gonna ask the gas station guy for directions. She stares blankly at me like the Native Americans must have stared at the white man, "What are you? You look familiar, but you have strange customs that make no sense to me." I walk over to the gas station attendant and simply say, "Heya, I am lost. I am trying to get back to Stockton but musta missed an exit somewhere in San Jose. Where am I? And how do I get where I am going?" The man looked at me as if to say "You are lost? Just keep driving! Don't admit it! Jesus! I bet you don't like blowjobs and beer too!" After some silence I finally got him to answer my question and we were back on our way. And I was completely out of The GCA.

But wait there is more. Later that year at a BBQ I annouced something I had thought I would never have to say outloud, that I could just avoid by simply not ordering it at restaurants. But at this BBQ they only had one thing on the grill and I had to make a store run for something else. When ask why? I responded. "I don't like steak." I think at that point The GCA placed an armed officer at my back door.

And even though I have said these things many times I am just going to list a few more comments made by me that cement my displacement from The GCA.

"I love going down on women."

"God, football is boring!"

"But not as boring as Baseball!"

"Sure I will go with you to (insert name of local gay bar/dance club here)"

"I am sorry. I can't have sex with you, I have a girlfriend."

Why can't I just shut up? Add all these comments together, mix in the fact that I do theatre, throw in a splash of the ability to actually cook, add a dash of being able to dress well, and a pinch of hatred for Steven Segal/Jean Claude Van Daam movies and you got me OUT of The GCA for life. Very few people are banned from The GCA for life. Now, I drink whiskey, smoke cigars, watch Hockey, and enjoyed Rocky Balboa; and still they will not even consider letting me back in. I guess maybe if I start supporting the war, drinking beer, hitting women, and playing football they'll let me back in. But that is just not a price I am willing to pay!

For now and forever, I am Jaye L. Vocque, proud non-member of The Guy Club of America!

Sorry I need to address something quickly...

2007-05-08T15:01:00.001-07:00

I heard something last night that greatly disturbed me.

Here I am deep in Hell Week for my new show (which opens this Friday, more on that later) and I get to hear a rumor that one of my actors "stole" a part or was "given" the role.

THIS IS NOT TRUE!

Ask any actor I have ever worked with. People EARN their fucking roles with me. They are never spoon fed anything. I do my best to try and challenge everyone in my cast and crew to do the best job that they have ever done. In doing that I cast people (from auditions) who I feel will stand up to that challenge.

No one, I repeat, NO ONE "STOLE" ANYTHING FROM ANYONE.

Why am I so pissed about this? Because I am damn proud of my cast and to demean them by saying they were "given" a role they didn't earn royally PISSES ME OFF!!!

So whoever it was that decided to spread said rumor I have three things to say to you...

A> Come see the show and watch the amazing job they do, then try and look me in the eye and say they "stole" it.

B> Get over yourself! If you think you are better then these great folks, why didn't your ass show up to audition and prove it. Nothing should ever hold you back from trying.

C> Fuck off! It is actors like you that make it hard for the talented ones to do their job. Whenever someone with true talent gets cast next to someone who is petty, egomaniacal, underhanded, and let's just face it far less talented then they are it brings a show down. Thank god as a director I try to weed you folks out a bit so my really talented actors can shine.

In closing. This note does not go out to anyone in particular, being I do not know who did start said rumor. If you think this is about you please stop and think if I have ever cast you before or have said I would like to work with you in the future (this is not a line I use, this is honest), if the answer is yes then guess what? This has nothing to do with you, you are a good wonderful actor who would never be petty and low like this to say someone else talented "stole" a part.

Love ya lots....and someone pour me a drink as I enter day two of HELL WEEK!

A new poem???

2007-05-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

Holy crap! I wrote a new poem? Yep I did. Just something I wanted to get out of my system. See I do write poetry every once in a while still...between working on play rewrites!

2 a.m.

Flying down the freeway
2 a.m.
hoping insomnia has it's
icy hold on me
for the twenty extra minutes it will
now take me to get home
because I am a
"nice guy"
My thoughts float
to you
I imagine a cartoon bubble
hovering above my head
playing out the scene of we two
kissing
I look up
nothing
nothing but the overhead light
I left on
to try and keep me awake
a song comes on the radio
cementing that image
in my head
How come the radio knows
what to play and
when to play it?
It sooths me
It tortures me
You are not mine
And yet
there the image stays.
I swerve to miss
something in the road
And that takes me out
of that cartoon bubble
long enough to notice my spedometer
reading 97 and
the fact I missed my offramp
by 2
Doubling back
window down
radio blaring
and I know
you will think this is
all about you
but you'd be wrong
2 a.m.
it's a dangerous time
to be thinking
and driving

--------jaye

Just SAY it!

2007-04-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

Okay I got a few things to say here. Some of which you may not wish to hear. So if that statement makes you a bit nervous move on to a calmer blog. Move over to a blog that discusses how sweet and wonderful everything is. Don't read this one.

There now I have weeded out some of the riff-raff. My wonderful Roommate and I sat down and watched my favorite Kevin Smith movie, CHASING AMY. At the end she asked me something that I had no problem answering, but then like everything in life, I got to thinking more. She asked, "Why is that your favorite Kevin Smith movie? I mean you have this romantic, one love view of the world. This doesn't fit." It is true. I am a hopeless romantic. I do believe in love at first sight. I do believe in a one true love. I do believe in soul mates. I believe in love, no matter how many times it kicks my ass, stabs me in the back, cheats, leaves, treats me bad, says one thing but does another. No matter how many times someone says they love me and will forever and then proves they may never have loved me. No matter how many times, for lack of a better term, I have been love's "bitch". I still believe strongly in romance and love and all of that. SO why does my favorite Kevin Smith movie end with love lost. AND for that matter why is my favorite movie of all time Casablanca, whic ends with love being let go? SIMPLE. I don't get it. Just because I believe in it for everyone else doesn't mean I honestly think I get to have it. Hell every relationship I have ever had has just help cement the fact that I do not get to have and hold onto love. Love for me fades. They get tired of me. Some cheat. Some leave. Some just stop treating me well, stop supporting what I want to do, start talking bad about me to all my friends, ignore me. Some say time and time again they loved me all the way up to "the end." However I would love them to do a bit of soul searching and ask themselves if they really did, or even EVER did. Because I can give plenty of examples of how they didn't, and I know quite a lot fo people who have even more proof then I do.

SO I guess it boils down to the plain and simple fact that YES I believe in love! For everyone else but me! I don't think I am unworthy. I don't think I don't deserve it. I just think that I am built to be everyone's "friend", "big brother", "best person they know" but not "lover", "husband", "love of their life." Just not in my cards. This does not make me sad. Just a harsh reality that I faced.

Let me say a little more about love and that sort of thing...

There was a party recently. No names. I was invited a long time before the event itself. However that morning I woke up and did not feel in a social mood. I felt ugly, fat, depressed, unloved, lonely. All around I desperately wanted to stay home. However the day before there was a game nite thing for a great couple I know for their birthdays. My roommie and I went. Everyone else ditched these two great people. Hell most people didn't even have the balls to text or call and simply say they were coming. Didn't matter we (the four of us) had a great time playing games and laughing. I didn't want to ditch someone like others did to these two. Thankfully, the person throwing the party gave me a way out of this delima. How to go to the party, and not deal with anyone or anything. I got to DJ like in the old days. I set up my little booth. Surrounded myself with my CDS and locked myself away from the party. Most often if people came up to me it was to request a song so it was brief, if people really tried to talk to me it was hard because it was loud right next to those speakers. That and my answers were short. I had nothing to say really. And my friend for the night was a bottle of JD got specially for the DJ.

During the evening three things happened that I wanted to mention. 1> I was so caught up in my own feelings that I didn't notice that someone I care a great deal about felt the same and really wanted to vanish as well. I talked to her for a bit and then made sure I played the cards the best I could to get her to shake herself out of it with some music that I knew would bring her a bit out of the shell she wanted to hide in. Why did I do this? Because I knew I couldn't do it for myself, so why not help someone else out? 2> I looked over at another friend who was living the party up. He seemed to be having a blast, surrounded by beautiful women, and just all and all being the life of the party. Kinda like how I used to be. I wasn't jealous at all. I was happy someone else was taking on the role, so I didn't have to. He was even kind enough to see if I was going to get out from behind the booth and join him. I lied. I am sorry to him that I lied. I said I was going to play a couple more songs and then throw on a soundtrack to go and mingle. I had no plans to do that. I was set where I was, and happy to hide in plain sight. 3> However besides my friends from #1 there was one more person who did her best to not let me hide. She would constantly come up and flirt, chat, touch, laugh, joke, drink, etc. I think this gal is very very attractive so I was flattered and it felt good to get that kind of attention especially being how I felt about myself that day. For a little while she stayed on my lap. I asked why she wasn't up and dancing and having fun with everyone, she said she was having a lot of fun right where she was. That slapped a smile accross my face for the rest of the night. I thank her greatly. She gave me just what I needed. I understand she was drunk. I know it meant absolutly nothing. And bottom line I am her friend. I know this all. Just for a moment I got to dwell in the attention, and try to forget who I am. Now other people came up to talk to me that night. It isn't like my friends ignored me or anything. It was a party so no one was expected to just hang out with the DJ. I am glad other said hi and chatted a bit. This gal just somehow knew what and how I was feeling and chose to do something about it. And that I thank her for.

Sure I am lonely. But with friends like the ones I have I am never alone.

AMENDMENT:

I also need to take a second to address something. I DO NOT BLAME ANY OF MY EXES FOR HOW I FEEL. I do not think any of them "fucked" me over, so to speak. Love just isn't for me! That's all. Sometimes someone very special comes along and makes me almost forget who I really am and how life works for me. But sooner or later...Reality wins! And "love" does not stand the test of time for me. Peopl give up. Only want to fight so far. Only want to support, stand by, deal with, etc for so long before it wears them down and they have to give up. I don't blame them at all. They all stuck with it as long as they felt they could. I applaude them for giving me a try to begin with. Just you should remember at the begining of any "dating" experience I say exactly how things are going to go. I lay out step by step how things will be. I am open and honest and say it to them and to my friends. And overall it all plays out that way, with some details varying. But over all they fall in love with me quick, I am everything they were every looking for, and slowly (about a year and a half in usually) they realize to a degree (weither they say it out loud or not) that am I not what they had in mind. Sometimes I do too much theatre so am away from them too much (even though they wanted me to do more because that is one of the reasons why they fell in love with me to begin with). Sometimes it is that the job I have doesn't bring in enough (even though back when I was working with Special Ed. kids it was doing that job and the fact of how caring I am that made them fall in love with me to begin with). It just comes down to the fact that I am a great novelty. Someone amazing who will treat them great and make them realize what a wonderful person they are, and then they realize they are too wonderful for me. I am glad they make that descision, alot of people suffer through life not wanting to be with who they are with and never have the guts to say "I am better than this." Just I will never be with a person who truely believes in Richer or Poor, Sickness and In Health, Good times and Bad, til death do us part. Novelties don't last. The party has to end sometime. To paraphrase the immortal words of Mitch Hedberg "I don't want to be like pancakes. At first everyone is all WOO pancakes yes! And after a couple you are like Oh god not more pancakes!"

I just don't want anyone to think this BLOG was addressing someone other then ME. With the exception of one certain ex-girlfriend I still care greatly about all my exes, maintain close friendship with them all, hell I even performed my ex-fiance's wedding. I would do any other one of their's too. I thank them for the times they stepped into my life and held me up and made me believe for a little while that maybe just maybe Bogart won't tell her to get on the plane. That maybe Alyssa won't let Affleck walk away. They all made me feel great about myself, until it was over and I was ME all over again. Hey Thanks for trying ladies, I owe you.

Let's all go to the Lobby! Let's all go to the Lobby!

2007-04-16T12:31:00.001-07:00

Ah what a weekend!

Friday during the day my friend Rob and I went to Sac and saw 300 in IMAX. Now I have seen Docus in IMAX and loved it. This was the first movie I have ever seen in IMAX and let me tell you, I AM HOOKED!!! This was a beautifully done film which for me was surprisingly well acted. Usuaully big budget blockbusters SUCK in the acting department. Not this film!

That evening, after having to give up on doing my taxes because I couldn't find a form I needed because I am a moron! I met up with Joanna at Bogey's for a little Karaoke. Had fun, flirted up a storm with some people (safe flirting, everyone knows I ain't taking no one home), sang some Billy Joel songs, drank a little.

Saturday at 12:05 my amazing rommie Lori and I went and saw GRINDHOUSE. I was so exciting I was literally giggling. It was everything I wanted and more! I laughed, I squirmed, I had a damn good time. AND I added a new famous woman to my Celeb Crush List. Zoe Bell! One of these days I will actually post my Celeb Crush List for all to see. Let's just say this gal is hot, in the "I could kick your ass" kinda way I like them. And the accent doesn't hurt none. Hell I loved this movie so much I am going again on Thursday!

Sunday, Thunder Game. This was a fast paced, well played game. I must say that maybe it is just because we are in the playoffs, but this was probably the most exciting game I have been to ever. AND WE WON!

After that chilled out at home.

I will be adding a pic of me as the Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland soon.

Just finished my taxes. Fed owes me a buck, State owes me $7. Gotta love being unemployeed.

Down to 300 pounds, let's see if I can break through that ceiling?

Going to be starting rewrites on draft number 2 of Barroom Philosophers tonight.

That is after my first rehearsal for EARLY ONE EVENING AT THE RAINBOW BAR AND GRILLE...I am so excited, I have such a good cast. Can't wait for you guys to meet them all.

Gotta run!

See ya in the funny papers!

"FUCK IT!" Things off my chest! by Jaye Lee Vocque

2007-04-06T13:14:00.000-07:00

First of all, not to sound like Seinfeld or anything, but what is the deal with hard bread. Why is everyone so in love with Chibata and all those rough tough breads out there. It is getting to the point where I can't get my sandwich on regular soft normal bread because everyone has all these speciality breads now.
Okay that being said now...
Yeah I have a full cast for my show. It is an awesome group. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Can not wait for rehearsals to start. However...now is the time that I satrt freaking out about if I have the talent to pull the show off. I will watch a few of my old shows and be fine. It's a cycle I go through.
I do have another question to ask everyone who reads my blogs however...why can't some of you mind your own fucking business? Now this is not directed to all of you of course. Just whoever it is that feels the need to go running to exes to say that they think I am seeing someone else now or running to my mother when they think I am getting too depressed and down on myself. I mean honestly do you not think my own mother knows I am a depressed individual?
Speaking of being a depressed individual. FUCK IT! I'm done! I got no time for this anymore. I got a show to make successful. I got a script I am taking to goddamn San Fransisco. MY SCRIPT! Yes that's freaking me out, but I got to be good at something in order for that to happen at all.
I am surrounded at all times by people I love, and that love me back. No one who says they love me only to prove differently. No one who tells me one thing and tells everyone else something different. I have real honest to goodness friends. And I love them with all my heart.
Okay so I am lonely at nite. I am not in a relationship any longer. I hurt from that fact because I was ready for the rest of my life to start. WELL FUCK THAT TOO! I realize the rest of my life is starting with or without a relationship. Okay I am single. Oh well I may be that way forever! Who cares? Maybe I will get some more work done? I don't have to tiptoe around anyone's feelings. If I am down that day, I don't have to fake being up. If I am up that day I can stay up. I can watch what I want to watch on tv and movies. I can eat what I want to eat.
Speaking of eating. I am damn close to the 300 mark. And where that may still sound like a giant, I have never been below 300 since I turn 16 years old (I know I looked it up). So FUCK IT! Like I really need all that junk food in my life anyway, sure it tasted good but not THAT good.
And speaking of things that taste good but I don't do as often anymore. Yes, hey everyone remember when you used to party with me, and I would drink everyone under the table, and no one could match me shot for shot, and I would polish off Jack by the bottle all by myself...remember that? When was it? Yep! It has been a while. I honestly don't drink like that much anymore. Not saying I can't. I just don't want to. It is a rare thing now. Usually I will have one maybe two drinks and be done, sometimes I even go out WITHOUT drinking. HOLY CRAP! What happened to Skippy? He grew up.
And speaking of growing up...
I am starting to notice something. And please keep this to yourself, so don't let anyone know, in fact maybe don't even read this section...there have you all looked away now? Okay good, I am free to say this. I Am A DAMN Good Boyfriend! There I said it. I treat women well. Ask around. Any one of my exes will tell you. Well not any one. I can give you the names of some bitter sad people who wouldn't know what anything "good" is if it reached out and hugged them. But those people aside being that the are demanding, lazy, deoendant individuals. Other than that, you ask my exes, or even my female friends, or any of my friends if they think I treat women well and you will hear a resounding YES! I don't cheat. I stay loyal. I love with my whole heart. I worship the ground a woman I am dating walks on. I cook, I clean. I rub feet and backs. I take care of them, and ask for little to nothing in return. But what does being like that get me? SINGLE...and you know what I say to that FUCK IT! Who cares? I am not going to change that fact. Next relationship...if there ever is one I will still worship them, and treat them amazing, and you know what at a botu a year and a half mark (or less) they will be done with me. Hell don't all women want the asshole anyway? Too bad that just really isn't me. And yes you read that right. I guess I am NOT an asshole after all.
So speaking of next relationships, if there is one...
Help me out my friends! I was joking around with Tony the Shark that my next relationship will have to answer a few simple yes or no questions in order for me to date them...I only have a few. But you my friends seem to notice when my relationship is getting sour before I do, and you tend to know weither or not that person is a "keeper" or not. So please help me out. They have to be yes or no questions but what are they. Give me some questions to ask the one day future owner of this stupid ring...eh nevermind that. Simply put...hey friends what should I ask of a future relationship? please leave a comment on here with your yes or no questions...oh and exes feel free to add some yes or no questions as well. Thanks!
Welp I am off...gotta prepare for the FIVE INTERVIEWS I HAVE NEXT WEEK! Wish my luck. Bound to get something soon. Employement would be good. Huh? Then I wonder what I could do being fully employeed and single...let's find out together shall we?

Stress! The FInal Frontier!

2007-04-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

So I guess I should actually post a blog. Lately it has been minor, quick updates on how I am slowly falling into insanity (i know I know "short fall").

My head is all over the place so I don't know exactly where to start so I guess that is why I haven't really said much.

As some of you know my father has been in and out of the hospital for the last few weeks. We have never really gotten along well, but that doesn't mean I don't love him and it doesn't mean I want him to be going through everything he is going through. I get this guilty feeling now because of it. I mean he has lung and stomach cancer that is most likely from breathing in peet dirt for the last 30 years. He only took that job because I came along into our happy little family. So in a way to be a good man and prvide for his family he has to suffer and die from it. I don't see how that is fair.

Work is slow going. I am giving up on a few of the really good jobs I was hoping for. Now I am just looking for anything. Because I am sick and tired of being a poor bum.

I weighed myself again yesterday and I am down to 305 lbs. That still sounds like a fucking blimp to me. However I have lost a lot. I don't see it at all but others say they can. I will be jumping for joy the day I hit 299. I have not been less than 300 since I was about 16 years old. Excersizing and eating right, or at least better than I used to.

I am officially losing my hearing in at least one ear, so that is fun. I guess taking 4 semesters of ASL wasn't a waste of time after all!

Had auditions for my next show with Rising Phoenix. We had the turn out I was expecting. Lots of talented women, one guy showed up. SO now I have spent the last two days calling around for guys. So far still need three and only have two guys that MAY be able to do it. So freaking out a bit at that.

Shows coming up are:

EARLY ONE EVENING AT THE RAINBOW BAR AND GRILLE for Rising Phoenix Theatre Company out at VINO PIAZZA May 11, 12, 13, 18, 19, 25, 26

BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS for Rising Phoenix Theatre Company performed at the San Fransisco Fringe Festival in September.

TAMING OF THE SHREW for Gnosis Theatre in November/December.

Shows I am currently writing.

Barroom Philosophers (still needs at least two more rewrites)
The Strange Case of Daniel E. Mann VS. God (a drak comedy of a man suing God)
Talking Without Saying Anything (a one man show)

BEYOND ALL OF THIS...

I am stressed out, freaking out, pissed off, pissed on, and everyday I fight against crawling into a hole. But still fighting aren't I?

See ya around!

Jaye's "How Am I Feeling?" Mix, now available as a Double CD Set!

2007-03-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

You heard it right...enough keeps going on that I need to add some amendments to my orginal list, and since I was informed that not all the songs fit on one cd anyway...here is the new list, enough to make a double CD set. And since I know most people will not download the songs just to burn two cds of music from inside my head, here I provide you with the lyrics for the songs, as to help that glimpse of how I am doing...ENJOY, if that is the word for it?

JAYE'S "HOW AM I FEELING" EXTENDED MIX 2 CD SET

1. RINGFINGER- Nine Inch Nails
Well you've got me working so heard lately
Working my hands until they bleed
If i was twice the man I could be
I'd still be half of what you need
Still you lead me and I follow
Anything you ask you know I'll do
But this one act of consecration is what I ask of you

Ringfinger
Promise carved in stone
Deeper than the sea
Ringfinger
Sever flesh and bone
And offer it to me

You just left me nailed here
Hanging like Jesus on the cross
I'll be dying for your sins
And aiding to the cause

Ringfinger
Promise carved in stone
Deeper than the sea
Ringfinger
Sever flesh and bone
And offer it to me

Wrap my eyes in bandages
Confessions I see through
I get everything I want
When I get part of you

Ringfinger
Promise carved in stone
Deeper than the sea
Ringfinger
Sever flesh and bone
And offer it to me

Ringfinger
Promise carved in stone
Deeper than the sea
Ringfinger
Devil's flesh and bone
Do something for me

2. STRONG- Robbie Williams
My breath smells of a thousand fags
And when I'm drunk I dance like me Dad
I've started to dress a bit like him

Early morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss but without the make up
And that's a good line to take it to
The bridge

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

My bed's full of takeaways and fantasies
Of easy lays
The pause button's broke on my video
And is this real cos I feel fake
Oprah Winfrey Ricki Lake
Teach me things I don't need to know

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And it's starting to show so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

3. SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN- u2
Tough
You think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I, that's alright
We're the same soul

I don't need
I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing...
You're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Sometimes you can't make it
Best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

4. I'M NOT OKAY- My Chemical Romance
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

5. RUDDERLESS- The Lemonheads
Waiting for some thin' to break.
Left my heart out to bake.
Nothing there in my glass.
Wasn't air meant to last.

Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.

{play verse chords}
All the way down to the lake,
(found the lake was wet).
How much more could i take,
(better yet).
Walked back home to my place,
(tired of getting high).
Guess i don't wanna die.

Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.
Hope in my past.

Waiting for some thin' to break.
Left my heart out to bake.

Slipped my mind that i could use my brain.
I'll stay up all night and crash on the plane.

Ship without a rudder's like a ship without a rudder's like a
Ship without a rudder.

Ship without a rudder's like a ship without a rudder's like a
Ship without a rudder's like a ship without a rudder's like a ship without a
Rudder's like a ship without a rudder's like a ship without a rudder.

6. CHURCH ON SUNDAY- Green Day
Today is the first day of the rest
Of our lives
Tomorrow is too late to pretend
Everything1s allright
I1m not getting any younger as long
As you don1t get any older
I1m not going to state that yesterday never was

Bloodshot deadbeat and a lack of sleep
Making your mascara bleed
Tears down your face
Leaving traces of my mistakes

If i promise to go to church on sunday
Will you go with ne on friday night?
If you live with me, i1ll die for you
And this compromise

I hereby solenly to tell
The whole truth
And nothing but the truth is what
I1ll ever hear from you
"trust" is a dirty word that comes
Only from such a liar
But "respect" is something i will earn..
If you have faith

7. WONDERWALL- Oasis
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you
By now you shoulda somehow realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

8. SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE- Nine Inch Nails
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore

Come on tell me
Make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
Make this all go away
You make this all go way
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be

Come on tell me
Make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
Make this all go away
You make this all go way

I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have

9. KHARMA KILLER- Robbie Williams
(talking: You've been naughty...very very naughty)
Are you cut up
Or do you easily forget
Are you still around
Why haven't you managed to die yet
You could prop up the bar in hell

How do you sleep
You've never loved
Why was I never good enough
You thought you'd leave me falling forever
Karma killer

Needless to say
I guess you know I hate you
You're so full of sin
Even the devil rates you
I hope you choke
On your Bacardi and Coke

How do you breathe
Why don't you cry
How come you never ask me why
You're not a man stand and deliver
Karma killer

How do you sleep
You've never loved
Why was I never good enough
You thought you'd leave me falling forever

Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer

I hope you choke
On your Bacardi and Coke

Look what you didn't take from me
Look what you didn't take from me
Look what you didn't take from me
Look what you didn't take from me

I don't need to take revenge
Cos they're coming to get you
There's no hope for you my friend
Cos they're coming to get you

Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer
Karma killer

10. BLURRY- Puddle of Mudd
everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then i crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that i'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
There's noone left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
Cause i am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then i crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that i will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

[chorus]

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to runaway

[chorus]

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

11. WAKE UP- Alanis Morisette
You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry
No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor
No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for

Cause it's easy not to
So much eaiser not to
And what goes around never comes around to you

You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
You sit...and you wait...to receive
There's an obvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in you life
There's an obvious aversion no ammount of my insistance
could make you try tonight

Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you to you to you to you to you...

There's no love no money no thrill anymore
There's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy
With his head in his hands
There's an underestimated and impatient little girl
Raising her hand

But it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you, to you

get up get up get up off of it
get up get up get up off of it
get out get outta here enough already
get up get up get up off of it
wake up

12. PERSONAL JESUS- Depeche Mode
Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Reach out and touch faith

13. SCARS- Papa Roach
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

14. THROUGH GLASS- Stone Sour
I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

How do you feel? That is the question...
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized and folded up like
Paper dolls and little notes, you can't expect a bit of hope
And while you're outside looking in, describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart - but never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises - null and void instead of voices
Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene
Remembering is just different from what you've seen

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you

I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you
It's the stars, it's the stars, that lied

15. HATE ME- Blue October
Spoken: Hey Justin this is your mother, it is 2:33 on monday afternoon
I was just calling to see how you were doin,
you sounded really uptight last night it made me a little nervous.
I just wanted to make sure that you were really ok and wanted to see
if you were checked in on your medications.
You know I love ya, see ya, bye bye.

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

I'm sober now for 3 whole months
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every misstake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

16. UNDER PRESSURE- Queen and David Bowie
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure that brings a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's okay
It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
Okay
Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher higher high
Pressure on people people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why?
Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're breaking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the (People on streets) edge of the night
And loves (People on streets) dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

17. NAKED- Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Built a house of cards around your heart
Show yourself to no one
Wear a mask
Didn't think you'd tear it all apart
Didn't know you had the nerve for that
Every bit of trouble that I've cherished
Every bit of truth that I let perish
Every little bit of me is naked
I am naked now
I am naked now
I am naked now
Yeah

Close your eyes and wonder why it's dark
Built a house of cards around your heart
Act surprised when you keep fallin' down
Something about you is like a spark
Didn't think you'd tear it all apart

Yeah you burn all other life down to the ground
Every bit of time that I have wasted
Every bit of truth I never tasted
Every little bit of me is naked
I am naked now
I am naked now
I am naked now

Every bit of trouble that I've cherished
Every bit of truth that I let perish
Every little bit of me is naked
I am naked now
I am naked now
I am naked now
I am naked now
I am naked now
Naked now
Now
Naked now
Now
I am naked now

18. MISERY, INC.- Soul Asylum
They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery

Frustrated, incorporated
Well i know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We'll create the cure; we made the disease

Frustrated, incorporated
Frustrated, incorporated
Well i know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to feel

Put me out of my misery
All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery

Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty

Frustrated, incorporated
Frustrated, incorporated

Frustrated, incorporated (put me out of my misery)
Frustrated, incorporated (i'd do it for you, would you do it for me)
Frustrated, incorporated (forever after happily)
Frustrated, incorporated (making misery)
Etc...

19. BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS- Green Day
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

20. DEAR MADAM BARNUM- Xtc
I put on a fake smile
And start the evening show
The public is laughing
I guess by now they know
So climb from your high horse
And pull this freak show down
Dear Madam Barnum
I resign as clown
You said I was the master of all I surveyed
But now I'm sweeping up
The last in line in your circus parade
Children are clapping
As I fall to the floor
My heart torn and broken
And they just scream for more
If I'm not the sole fool
Who pulls his trousers down
Then dear Madam Barnum
I resign as clown
You tread the high wire
Between truth and lies
Your safety net just walked out
Much to your surprise
Strike up the band love
And let the show begin
For this is the last time
I'm painting on a grin
If I'm not the sole fool
Who pulls his trousers down
Then dear Madam Barnum
I resign as clown

21. GET HAPPY- Bowling For Soup
She packed her shit and she left for the city
On the 8:10 train and I still can't believe it
Man, I don't even know how we could let this happen
She slammed the door and she gave me the finger
And we fell so fast I still can't remember
You can read it yourself, it's all in the letter
Man, I don't even know how we could let this happen

Maybe you're right
we've had a good time
I'll sit around, you get yourself a new life
Go get your spot, go find your smile and get happy

Heard you're back, did you find what was missing?
Was it just that easy or were you mistaken
Man, I don't even know how we could let this happen
I don't even know how we could let this happen

Maybe you're right
We've had a good time
I'll sit around you get yourself a new life
Go get your spot, go find your smile
And just let it shine tonight wherever you are
I hope there's a spot (hope there's a spot)
Save me a smile
And get happy, yeah
Happy, yeah
Happy, yeah

Maybe you're right
We've had a good time
I'll sit around you get yourself a new life
Go get your spot, go find your smile
And just let it shine tonight wherever you are
I hope there's a spot (hope there's a spot)
And save me a smile
And get happy
Get happy, yeah
Get happy, yeah

Packed her shit and she left me (find your smile)
Slammed the door and she gave me (find your smile)
Guess she's back in the city (find your smile)
Man, I just hope you're happy

22. SICK OF MYSELF- Matthew Sweet
You don't know how you move me
Deconstruct me
And consume me
I'm all used up
I'm out of luck
I am starstruck
By something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive

But i'm sick of myself when i look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And i'm beginning to think baby you don't know

I'll take or leave
The room to breathe
The choice to leave you
I'll throw away
A chance at greatness
Just to make this
Dream come into play, i don't know if i'll find a way

'cause i'm sick of myself when i look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And i'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

There's something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive
But i'm sick of myself when i look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And i'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

23. SHUT UP AND SMILE- Bowling For Soup
Its not the end of the world
In fact its not even the end of the summer
But thank god the tv is on
Cuz theres no way we could know
Anything that’s goin down
Or how were supposed to be feeling about it
I cant tell you how much I wish we could shut up and smile, yeah

Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug

Take a good look around
Does life really suck
Are we just complaining
I hope that this mic is on (testing 1, 2)
Cuz im on a roll here
I hope this is making some sense
I hope that you’ll throw up your hands and sing it
And tell all the haters that they should just shut up and smile, yeah

Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream

All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
TO be happy
(All you need is someone near)
like ben and jerry
(to hold you close and pretend that they care)

can we all just, get along now
we found something that we all have in common now
we can hold hands, do keg stands
water skiing sounds great to me now

Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we’ll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe we’re a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug

(Chanting “All we need is love and beer”)
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug

24. LEARNING HOW TO SMILE- Everclear
Five miles outside of Vegas when
we broke down
Threw my keys inside the window
and we never looked back

We got all drunk and sloppy on a
Greyhound bus
We passed out
All them losers
They were laughing at us

I will never let them break your heart
No I will never let them break me

We got lost in Phoenix
seemed like such a long time
Seven months of living sweaty
On those thin white lines

did some time
for selling acid to the wrong guy
Life just keeps on getting smaller
And we never ask why

Why there is no perfect place
Yes I know this is true
I'm just learning how to smile
And that's not easy to do

I know there will come a day
When we can leave
And just go running away

(ooh yeah)

we were broke outside of Philly
when the storms came
I was working in New Jersey
Hitching rides in the rain

You was happy talking dirty
at that phone sex place
Life just keeps on getting
weirder for us every day

You say there is no perfect place
I say I know this is true
We are just learning how to smile
And that's not easy to do

We both live for the day
When we can
Run away
Ah baby we can leave
And run away
We can leave this place
And run away
We can leave it all behind
Just like we do everytime

Yes we both live for the day
When we can leave
And just go running away

No I will never let it break
your heart
No I will never let it break me

Five miles outside of Vegas
Five years down the line
We got married in the desert
In the sunshine

I can handle all the hell
That happens everyday
When you smile and touch my face
You make it all just go away

Yes I know there ain't no
finish line
I know this never ends
We are just learning how to fall
And climb back up again

I know theres nothing perfect
I know theres nothing new
We are just learning
how to live together
me and you

You know I live for the day
When you say,
"Baby let's just run away"

Ah baby we can leave
And run away
Yes we can leave this place
And run away

(repeat to fade)

25. MAD WORLD- Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow

Chorus
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World, Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me

Chorus
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World, Mad World
Enlargen your world
Mad World

26. POOR POOR PITIFUL ME- Warren Zevon
I'd lay my head on the railroad tracks
And wait for the Double "E"
But the railroad don't run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl in West Hollywood
I ain't naming names
She really worked me over good
She was just like Jesse James
She really worked me over good
She was a credit to her gender
She put me through some changes, Lord
Sort of like a Waring blender

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow bar
She asked me if I'd beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don't want to talk about it

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

(Well, I met a girl from the Vieux Carre`
Down in Yokahama
She picked me up and she throwed me down
I said, "Please don't hurt me, Mama")

27. GRAVITY- John Mayer
Gravity, is working against me
And gravity, wants to bring me down
Oh, I've never known what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Whoa, gravity is working against me
And gravity, it wants to bring me down
Oh, twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could
Its wanting more that's gonna send me to my knees

Oh, twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could
Its wanting more that's gonna send me to my knees

Whoa gravity, stay the hell away from me
Whoa gravity, has taken better man than me
Now how can that be
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
C'mon keep me where the light is
C'mon keep me where the light is

28. BETTER NOW- Collective Soul
Oh I'm newly calibrated
All shiny and clean
I'm your recent adaptation
Time to redefine me

Let the word out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now
Break the news out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now

Oh I'm happy as Christmas
All wrapped to be seen
I'm your recent acquisition
Time to celebrate me

Let the word out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now
Break the news out I've got to get out
Oh I'm feeling better now

The world's done shaking
The world's done shaking
The world's done shaking me down

The world's done shaking
The world's done shaking
The world's done shaking me down

30. WEIGHT OF THE WORLD- Ringo Starr
MAYBE YOUR DADDY NEVER HELD YOU LIKE YOU SHOULD,
MAYBE YOUR MAMA JUST HELD ON THE BEST SHE COULD.
EV'RY SOUL HAS A SECRET,
GIVE IT AWAY OR KEEP IT,
BUT YESTERDAY'S GONE SO TELL ME WHY.

YOU CARRY THE WEIGHT, THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD,
IT'S BREAKIN' YOU DOWN ON YOUR BACK LIKE A BOULDER.
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, GET RID OF IT, GIRL,
GET IT OFF OF YOUR SHOULDER.
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN USED,
BUT YOU GOTTA LOSE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.

MAYBE I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN THERE JUST FOR YOU,
MAYBE I TRY BUT THEN I GOT MY OWN LIFE TOO.
EV'RY HEART HAS A HUNGER,
I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER,
I GOT ALL THE CROSSES I CAN BEAR.

DON'T GIMME THE WEIGHT, THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD,
IT'S BREAKIN' ME DOWN ON MY BACK LIKE A BOULDER.
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, GET RID OF IT, GIRL,
GET IT OFF OF MY SHOULDER.
YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN USED,
AND I GOTTA LOSE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO WHO YOU CRUCIFY.
YOU EITHER KISS THE FUTURE OR THE PAST GOODBYE,
WE COULD FLY SO HIGH.

BUT WE CARRY THE WEIGHT, THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD,
IT'S BREAKIN' US DOWN ON OUR BACKS LIKE A BOULDER.
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, GET RID OF IT, GIRL,
GET IT OFF OF OUR SHOULDERS.
WE'VE ALL BEEN USED,
AND WE GOTTA LOSE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.

IT'S TAKIN' US DOWN AND THE NIGHT'S GROWIN' COLDER,
JUST BLAME IT ON FATE, THAT WAS YESTERDAY, GIRL.
AND WE'RE JUST GROWIN' OLDER.
WE'VE ALL BEEN USED,
NOW IT'S TIME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD,
THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD,
THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.

31. MY IMMORTAL- Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my, childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it wont leave me alone

These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

*Chorus
When you'd cried i'd, wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream i'd, fight away all of your fears
And i've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now i'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me

These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

*Chorus

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

32. HAPPY- Sister Hazel
I remember watchin'
All the once upon a times
Remember thinkin'
Who's content and who's for rent
And you said don't you want to be like that man!?
Oh No--No--No!
But then he cracks that smile
And that don't look so bad to me.....

Happy--I'm Happy
But that ain't good enough for you
Happy--I'm Happy.....

I remember thinkin'
How they thought that we should be
Remember feelin'
That might be you but that ain't me
And you said don't you want to be like that man!?
Oh No--No--No!
But then he cracks a smile
And that don't look so bad to me.....
(Chorus-Chorus)

The suns that rise
A young girls sighs
A baby cries
An old mans eyes
(Repeat)

I remember watchin'
All the once upon a times
Remember thinkin'
Who's content and who's for rent
And you said don't you want to be like that man!?
Oh No--No--No!
Then he cracks that smile
And that don't look so bad to me.....
(Chorus-Chorus)

33. THE WORST DAY SINCE YESTERDAY- Flogging Molly
Well I know, I miss more than hit
With a face that was launched to sink
An' I seldom feel, the bright relief
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday

If there's one thing I have said
Is that the dreams I once had, now lay in bed
As the four winds blow, my wits through the door
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday

Fallin' down to you sweet ground
Where the flowers they bloom
It's there I'll be found
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday

Though these wounds have seen no wars
Except for the scars I have ignored
And this endless crutch, well it's never enough
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday

Hell says hello, well it's time to I should go
To pastures green, that I've yet to see
Hurry back to me, my wild calling
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday

34. ONE FOR MY BABY- Frank Sinatra
It's quarter to three,
There's no one in the place 'cept you and me
So set 'em' up joe
I got a little story i think you oughtta know

We're drinking my friend
To the end of a brief episode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

I know the routine
Put another nickel in that there machine
I'm feeling so bad
Won't you make the music easy and sad

I could tell you a lot
But you gotta to be true to your code
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

You'd never know it
But buddy i'm a kind of poet
And i've got a lot of things i wanna say
And if i'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's all, all talked away

Well, that's how it goes
And joe i know you're gettin' anxious to close
So thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear

But this torch that i found
It's gotta be drowned
Or it soon might explode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

35. (Bonus Track #1) WAKE ME UP- Kyle Vincent

36. (Bonus Track #2) GOING TO GO BACK THERE- Gonzo(From: THE MUPPET MOVIE)

Get those CD burners warmed up folks...

2007-03-12T12:50:00.001-07:00

Wanna know how I am doing? Go to your favorite illegal music downloading site and grab these songs, burn them to a CD and listen to it...then you will know.

JAYE'S "HOW AM I FEELING" MIX CD

1. RINGFINGER- Nine Inch Nails

2. STRONG- Robbie Williams

3. SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN- u2

4. I'M NOT OKAY- My Chemical Romance

5. RUDDERLESS- The Lemonheads

6. CHURCH ON SUNDAY- Green Day

7. WONDERWALL- Oasis

8. SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE- Nine Inch Nails

9. KHARMA KILLER- Robbie Williams

10. BLURRY- Puddle of Mudd

11. WAKE UP- Alanis Morisette

12. OWN PERSONAL JESUS- Depeche Mode

13. SCARS- Papa Roach

14. THROUGH THE GLASS- Stoned Sour

15. HATE ME- Blue October

16. UNDER PRESSURE- Queen and David Bowie

17. NAKED- Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

18. MISERY, INC.- Soul Asylum

19. BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS- Green Day

20. DEAR MADAM BARNUM- Xtc

21. GET HAPPY- Bowling For Soup

22. (bonus track) SICK OF MYSELF- Matthew Sweet

23. (bonus track) SHUT UP AND SMILE- Bowling For Soup

24. (bonus track) LEARNING HOW TO SMILE- Everclear

Go ahead give it a listen...it's not as deep, dark, sad, angry, depressing, or scarey as all that. ENJOY! I am really loving this music right now!

DO-Over?

2007-03-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

I would love to call a do-over on my life...I have hundreds of thousands of reasons...but for now here are a song whose lyrics fit me very well lately...more later as I start catching up. I am pushing a boulder uphill in the dark and more boulders are added everyday...love and miss you all.

STRONG Robbie Williams

My breath smells of a thousand fags
And when I'm drunk I dance like me Dad
I've started to dress a bit like him

Early morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss but without the make up
And that's a good line to take it to
The bridge

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

My bed's full of takeaways and fantasies
Of easy lays
The pause button's broke on my video
And is this real cos I feel fake
Oprah Winfrey Ricki Lake
Teach me things I don't need to know

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And it's starting to show so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Bloggity Blog Blog Blog...

2007-02-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

Okay just a few quick updates...

Almost every Tuesday night I go to Club Paradise and sing Karaoke with the wonderful KJs Joe and Shawn. NO I AM NOT GAY!

Barroom Philosophers has hit it's first major snag. The disk is having trouble reading everywhere. May have to start all over. NO I AM NOT GIVING UP!

I will be directing Early One Evening At The Rainbow Bar and Grille this May for Rising Phoenix and next may for Big Idea Theatre. NO I AM NOT MOVING BACK TO SAC!

I applied for the job at the High School as a Campus Supervisor. I also have an application into City of Tracy for a Box Office job. NO I AM STILL UNEMPLOYEED.

Saturday I will be heading into the B93 studios for their open casting call. Why the hell not?

I will be auditioning for SCT for the following shows...Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and The Full Monty. I have not decided if I will be auditioning for You're a Good Man Charlie Brown.

Yes, I do have an amazing roommate. No, I am not sleeping with her.

Whenwhile with the move I am three weeks behind on LOST and one week behind on HEROES. AHHHH!

My folks are still alive. Us Vocque's dont know a good exit cue.

My mother sat me down for a long talk. It is her opinion that not only should I quit acting (which is still my plan for age 31, so hurry up someone cast me as Lenny in Of Mice And Men) but she would also like to see me quit directing and focus only on writing. I am not prepared, or willing to even think of that yet. However I will be attempting not only writing but actually showing people what I have written.

GUITAR HERO ROCKS!!! Just thought I'd say it. Lars play American Rock and/or Roll good!

Visiting Santa Cruz tomorrow...ah it will feel like going home.

Here is a brief list of those people I miss (if you are not on the list that must mean either A> I see you often or have seen you recently or B> I am an idiot and forgot to write your name down...it does not mean I don't miss you)

Karene, Anna, Brian, Doug, Katherine, Pandora, Bernice, Derek, Wade, Linette, Angela, Ray, Ben

Like I said just people who have been on my mind today.

Hmmmm....and how do I end this ramble?

WE CAN'T BE SAD TODAY! NOT ON REX MANNING DAY!!!

and it hit me...

2007-02-12T15:26:00.000-08:00

Okay so it begins...

Today in the midst of packing and such, depression hit me. DUH! So like any good fat ugly depressed guy who likes to drink does when they get sad and angry at life what did I do?

I went for a walk!

And while I was walking I was thinking. I thought and thought some more.

So here are some updates on things that will be mentioned on every blog from here on out.

1> I am roughly 65% finished with the first re-write of BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS (not entirely true about this being the first re-write, more like 12th, but that is for another blog entirely).

2> I currently weigh 372 pounds

3> I have sent out 3 more resumes today and scheduled 0 interviews.

These figures will appear at the bottom of my blogs from here on out until...

1> BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS is finished.

2> I weigh 250 or lower.

3> I have a new job.

I am taking control...fat, loser, useless I will be no more!

love always

jaye

A quick note...

2007-02-09T14:30:00.001-08:00

As many of you already know, or have figured out, Andrea and I are no longer together. It is a long story that honestly has no need to be retold. She is a wonderful person who I would like to share some thoughts about if you will let me...

1> I always called her my Jaguar. This was a name I gave her the first week we began hanging out. I called her this because I wanted to see her run. She was in a dead end job and doing shows that weren't challenging her, so I pushed and pulled to get her out of that cage and let her run. I am happy for her that she is running still. It would be stupid and arrogant of me to think that what would be best for her is simply a different cage.

2> What a year! She has given me a terrific year. 2006 went a great deal to me and I will always look fondly back on it. She helped me continue on my growth and journey that I started on my own. Now I must finish it alone. But I thank her for the company along the road, even if it was breif in the long run of life.

3> It will be tough, but we are planning on remaining friends. She knows so much about me and I about her, we shared our dreams and as a friend I would like to see those dreams come true.

4> Despite rumors that have already began to fly, I am not dating, fucking or otherwise involved with anyone, or am planning on that any time in the future. Relationships and me have not gotten along. I have had all sorts in the past and you could ask anyone, this time around seemed like forever. But I lost that too. I am begining to think what may be for the best for myself (and the women of California) is if I remain single. Not for a while. But from here on out.

5> Yes I am sad. I am fucking allowed to be. No you will not see me get back into my funk that some of you saw about a year or so ago. You will not be getting phone calls from me at eleven saying "please pick me up I walked miles and am a bit lost." I am a stronger person now. But still I have every right to be sad.

6> No I am not homeless. Nor am I "nomading" it like I have done in the past. As luck would have it Lori has recently aquired a new job and with said job comes a two bedroom apartment, rent free. Being the wonderful gal she is she asked if I would be her roomie. I will be moving in officially during this upcoming weekend and into next week. Again for those of you who are thinking "oh..." Please see number 4!

7> No I do not have steady employement as of yet. Interviews and resume calls have been increasing so I hope any day now will be the call I am waiting for.

8> No I do not have a steady car as of yet. Rob Chase in his amazing gift of caring is still letting me use his truck. God I owe that guy!

Well that's it for now. I am sure I could fill you in on BARROOM PHILOSOPHERS and the like but just not in the mood for now.

Have a great day! I am off to pack.

Take a quiz!

2007-02-06T00:45:00.001-08:00

Create your own Friend Quiz here

My MySpace Top Friends List

2007-02-05T00:49:00.000-08:00

So I have been meaning to do this for quite some time now. And for some reason or another tonight is the night it gets done.

So you see that my "top" friends don't change much. People get shifted around due to their photos and my slight OCD of making things "fit" but other then that everyone usually stays where they are.

So who are they? And why are they there? Better yet...let me tell you a bit more about these fine folks!

#1: It's Spelled AndIE

Who are they? My (now ex) girlfriend. She has stood by me through a lot. I know we have had some tough times. But hopefully those will be behind us soon.

Why are they in this spot? Duh! If she wasn't people would talk. And you know how much people love to talk!

What song reminds me of them? Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer (Dear Mr. Mayer, Thank you for your kind words. But I just don't think it will work out between us. Although I am flattered by you calling my body a wonderland...I had not honestly been told that before. It has been called a TiltO'Whirl once or twice but that is besides the point. Thanks again Mr. Mayer. Love and respect Jaye L. Vocque)

What color is the sky in their world? Blue-ish

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? this weird down funk we've both been in

What movie would we star in together? Taming of the Shrew

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? CSI

One Memory: Walking in Vegas...ALL OVER VEGAS and window shopping for hookers.

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "A Lifetime of Laughter"

#2 Garbagegirl

Who are they? My doopleganger...my double in female form...trouble :)

Why are they in this spot? because they earned it...just ask her what she thinks of me...okay don't ask her that could be dangerous :)

What song reminds me of them? Champagne Supernova (Where were you when I was getting high? Honestly I was looking all around for you and couldn't find you anywhere?)

What color is the sky in their world? dark, dreary, cloudy, with a lot of rain

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? how down she gets...I know POT...KEDDLE!

What Movie would we star in together? Moulin Rouge (shut up! I would look great in that dress Kidman wears!)

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Futurama

One Memory: Singing at the top of our lungs in a long car ride, stopping for gas half way throw the song and restarting it just because we didn't finish it

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Singing Unbound"

#3 Cat

Who are they? My producer and one of the greatest friends I have ever had

Why are they in this spot? numbers one and two were taken

What song reminds me of them? Take Your Mother Out Tonight (Get her jacked up on some cheap champagne...or white russians...or rum and cokes...oh wait Kahlua and Cokes...tastes just like CocaCola Black!!! WOO HOO!)

What color is the sky in their world? It looks a great deal like a lava lamp!

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact they don't get to be a producer for a living

What movie would we star in together? Queen of the Damned (Hey screw you all I could pull off Lestat...a fat Lestat...Lestat the later years...the Lestat stamp no one voted for)

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Buffy the Vampir Slayer

One memory: A certain morning at the "Y"...hehehe j/k honestly production meetings over chinese food

If I could write a play about them what would it be called? "Walking the streets of San Francisco with a Skull"

#4 Wildflower

Who are they? My ex-wife and still one of the greatest people I know

Why are they in this spot? hey she brings a great balance to my top four

What song reminds me of them? Sheep go to Heaven (goats go to hell and cows go to Galt)

What color is the sky in their world? plaid

If I could change one thing about them what could it be? the voice in her head that is her mom's

What movie would we star in together? Dogma (Rubber poop monsters rock!)

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? The Simpsons

One Memory: We had to walk up hill, barefoot, in the snow, carrying a rubber raft!

If I could write a play about them what would it be called? "San Jose, Steinbeck and the Simpsons"

#5 Tony Yaghileone

Who are they? My best male friend. Ask around...after Elmer moved and we didn't get to see each other often I never thought I would ever have a close male friend like that again. Along came Tony!

Why are they in this spot? Well it took him a while to get on MySpace and he doesn't check it often. But I know he feels he is in good company on this list.

What song reminds me of them? Sympathy for the Devil (now we can discuss the idea of the show ending that way...just kidding the answer is still NO!)

What color is the sky in their world? Teal and Gray (GO SHARKS!)

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? not much actually now that he isn't working at T&M Market

What movie would we star in together? Mallrats

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Family Guy

One Memory: Monkey Poll Aficienado Magazine

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Stock Footage"

#6 Karene

Who are they? An amazing person who has saved my life more then once

Why are they in this spot? she is one of my favorite people

What song reminds me of them? A WInk and A Smile (Remember the day when just keeping time hanging around in sleepy towns?)

What color is the sky in their world? the pinkish color right at sunset

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the state they live in

What movie would we star in together? The Lion King

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Stargate

One Memory: a long drive to the aiport

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Distant Friends"

#7 Beth

Who are they? Our amazing Techie from San Francisco Fringe Fest.

Why are they in this spot? she rapidly became a close friend and I am very happy for that

What song reminds me of them? Anything by Creed (because we will both leave the room screaming with our ears bleeding)

What color is the sky in their world? I don't know, what is the color of the inside of a techie booth?

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact we don't see each other that often

What movie would we star in together? Office Space

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? I love the 80's

One Memory: Her amazing fighting skills

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "The Year of Steve, Redux"

#8 Jason Feilzer

Who are they? My ex-brother-in-law and My "Affleck"

Why are they in this spot? He still is one of my closest friends and an amazing guy.

What song reminds me of them? Man Of Constant Sorrow (Let's dance Cracker Boy!!!)

What color is the sky in their world? Shamrock Green

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the hours his job makes him work

What movie would we star in together? Ghostbusters

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? In Living Color

One Memory: Chilli! and the Johnny Cash morning we shared together camping.

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? " One Night at the 'Y' "

#9 Tropicana Anna

Who are they? Still My favorite Chase (but shhh don't tell anyone)

Why are they in this spot? she bounces all over the place on this list

What song reminds me of them? Dirty Man (don't ask)

What color is the sky in their world? a mix of yellow and purple

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact that sometimes she feels we all forget about her

What movie would we star in together? High Fidelity

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Dead Like Me

One Memory: teaching her how to throw a hatchet

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Breaking Away"

#10 Jea9

Who are they? one of the few people that I have never been rumored to be sleeping with

Why are they in this spot? she earned her spot on my list by many many late nights conversing

What song reminds me of them? Travelin' Thru (aren't we all?)

What color is the sky in their world? sunny days

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact that at times she forgets what life really means

What movie would we star in together? The Graduate (plastics!)

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Inside the Actor's Studio

One Memory: socks

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Years Go By"

#11 Michelle

Who are they? a beautiful girl who just doesn't see it

Why are they in this spot? She is someone very easy to talk to

What song reminds me of them? Message in a Bottle (Guitar Hero ROCKS!)

What color is the sky in their world? like a crystal clear stemwear

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? her idea that she is not as great as everyone says she is

What movie would we star in together? Shaun of the Dead

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? what TV? we would be playing Guitar Hero

One Memory: Wineglass!

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Learns to Play"

#12 Eros God of Desire

Who are they? an all around great guy

Why are they in this spot? after San Francisco he became one of my top people

What song reminds me of them? You Rule My World (We are gonna kick ass at auditions!)

What color is the sky in their world? rainbow (hehehe)

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? he doesn't get cast as often as he should

What movie would we star in together? Fantastic Four

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Smallville

One Memory: YMCA showers (get your mind out of the gutter!)

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Little Known Facts"

# 13 Katherine

Who are they? my ex fiance and one of the strongest people I know

Why are they in this spot? she wouldn't mind being number 13, others may freak, she knows it's an honorable spot for me

What song reminds me of them? Here We Go Again (Watching dirty movies, in that nasty little room, sleeping on a maitress in the corner, eating chinese food...I think ever balanced person should have had this relationship setup)

What color is the sky in their world? lace white

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact we never see each other much anymore

What movie would we star in together? Sabrina

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? The Muppet Show

One Memory: a random drive from San Jose to Lodi where we invented the Chrysler Le Sex...the first car built solely to have sex on the road...no WE never tested it out..but had a great time joking about what it needs

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Full Circle"

# 14 They call me Shawney

Who are they? my "ex-husband" and much much more then the "token" jokes we all make

Why are they in this spot? we are still there for each other no matter where on the lists we are

What song reminds me of them? Heartache Tonight (still one of the few songs I sing as a duet with anyone)

What color is the sky in their world? whatever the inside of the bar he's working in is

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact he doesn't get to see his family often

What movie would we star in together? Stir Crazy

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Angel

One Memory: ask him about the Cheeseburger

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? " 'No man is an'...what? It's my turn to sing? Be right back!"

#15 Sada Alexandra

Who are they? my lunch buddy, oh yeah and Monk's girl

Why are they in this spot? she moved her way up from nowhere

What song reminds me of them? Punk Rock 101

What color is the sky in their world? silky red

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? she doesn't believe that she is gorgeous (ask anyone)

What movie would we star in together? Not Another Teen Movie

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Facts of Life (why not)

One Memory: booth lunches

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Bringing Sexy Back...one guy at a time"

#16 Daryn Alsup

Who are they? my secret gay lover

Why are they in this spot? again I didn't have the pleasure of knowing him until recently

What song reminds me of them? Catch My Heart

What color is the sky in their world? same as Joe's

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact he just can't get enough of my ass

What movie would we star in together? Brokeback Mountain

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Mythbusters

One Memory: a BART ride bitches!

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "88 Keys"

#17 Veg Crash McCoy

Who are they? the man who was my Best Man

Why are they in this spot? he is always on a top friends list even if I haven't seen him in years

What song reminds me of them? My Favorite Things (of course the Me First and the Gimme Gimmees version of the song not that crap from Song of Music)

What color is the sky in their world? black leather with blue flames

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact we haven't seen each other in years

What movie would we star in together? Planes, Trains and Automobiles

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Are you being Served?

One Memory: Flaming Idiots

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Real Life Bert and Ernie"

#18 Walt

Who are they? Andrea's dad

Why are they in this spot? he has always made me feel welcome

What song reminds me of them? something by GreyWolf

What color is the sky in their world? tie-dyed

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? he never did get a shot to see me high

What movie would we star in together? As Good as it Gets

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Behind the Music

One Memory: the look on his face when I fixed the shower

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Livin' it Right"

#19 Rae Ann

Who are they? one of the people I have known in the theatre the longest, and Andrea's breast friend

Why are they in this spot? she and I have known each other a long long time

What song reminds me of them? Witchy Woman

What color is the sky in their world? flesh tone

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact that happiness, true happiness, comes and goes for her

What movie would we star in together? The Craft

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? recently she's gotten hooked on LOST so she's another waiting for next Wed.

One Memory: one Christmas her and I drank a lot of Hot Choclate and Peppermint Schnapps

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "You're a Star"

#20 Steve

Who are they? my favorite jew

Why are they in this spot? he likes being almost last

What song reminds me of them? My Way (4-B-5)

What color is the sky in their world? white and silver and blue (get it?)

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact he and I are not steadily employeed

What movie would we star in together? Titanic

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? The Daily Show

One Memory: playing UNO with Steve is a religious experience

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Midnight and bad jokes"

# 21 Muugen

Who are they? my backstage dancing partner

Why are they in this spot? all around great guy who I rarely get the chance to see, but supported us bigtime in SF

What song reminds me of them? ? (CRAP! What the hell was that song we danced to backstage?)

What color is the sky in their world? ocean blue

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact we rarely see each other

What movie would we star in together? The Odd Couple

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Monty Python

One Memory: seeing him do my part in a show

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Waltzing in Blue Light"

#22 Yorick

Who are they? the man, the myth, the legend

Why are they in this spot? he helped usher in some major changes in 6 people's (if not more) lives

What song reminds me of them? Friendly Ghost (is what I need)

What color is the sky in their world? bone

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? I would love to see his real face

What movie would we star in together? 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Head of the Class

One Memory: a certain weekend in the 'Y'

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Bone Daddy"

#23 Rising Phoenix

Who are they? are terrific theatre group who has given me a lot

Why are they in this spot? they just recently came on this whole myspacey thing

What song reminds me of them? La Vie En Rose

What color is the sky in their world? ash

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? the fact they don't have a venue

What movie would we star in together? Barroom Philosophers

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Masterpiece Theatre

One Memory: building a set that was finished opening night (five minutes before the audience walked in)

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "Life on the Boards"

#24 Stockton Thunder

Who are they? Stockton's very own ECHL Hockey team

Why are they in this spot? they are really my favorite thing outside of theatre to go do and see (well maybe Karaoke is in there somewhere)

What song reminds me of them? Cotton Eyed Joe

What color is the sky in their world? yellow and black BABY!

If I could change one thing about them what would it be? last season

What movie would we star in together? SlapShot

One TV show we could just veg out and watch all day? Hockey

One Memory: that really bad version of the national anthem (seriously people almost booed)

If I wrote a play about them what would it be called? "ICE"

So why did I do all this to begin with?

In this busy world, jobs (or searching for), sex, shows, life in general sometimes gets in the way of just stopping and letting people know how you feel. I am lucky. I have the world's most amazing set of friends, it's true if you aren't one of them head over to my top friends list and click away, introduce yourself, you won't regret it. These people will take you in with open arms and make you feel special, not 'special' like you need a helmet or anything, but special none the less. So knowing full well I am guilty of life getting in the way of letting the people I truely care about know how much I truely care about them, I decided on doing this blog to let them know.

There are going to be some drastic changes to my life, and I hope you are all going to be a long for the ride. This blog will start being seriously updated weekly.

Returning to Stealth Blogger Mode in 3...2...

2007-02-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

For a while I will not have a steady computer I can be at soon. I will let you know the final day I will have a steady access to a computer and when I will re enter what I lovingly refer to as "stealth blogger mode." Which for those readers who were not with me last time I was in said mode, I can only post littel updates when I get in front of a computer, which I will no longer be an owner of, so my post will be short and fast. Quickies, if you will. And as everyone knows, I am not a real big fan of quickies.
See ya'll soon!
jaye

quick update

2007-01-30T20:20:00.000-08:00

I am alive

Okay you asked for it...

2007-01-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

I have been texted, called, e-mailed, IMed, myspace, etc. saying "where are you?" "Why no updates?" "Why no blogs?" "Where is this post you promised" ETC.
So HERE...
I hate my skin
I am so uncomfortable it it that it burns me from the inside out
I am useless
worthless
ugly
and much much more
those voices we all have in our heads
pushing us down and making us cry
they are winning right now
I know (somewhere inside this black hole called my brain)
that i will get over this
I didn't want to burden any of you
with any of this
I have
at last count
214 things going on in my brain
that hurt me
I try to fix them but I am drowning in it
I just don't know where to start
I try one thing to make me happy
it hurts other things
so move on to something else
and that hurts yet more things
I said recently
that I will just keep climbing
as long as I can see the top of the mountain
I just don't know what direction I am climbing in anymore
pick a section of my life
and things are rough in that section
nothing is sturdy
nothing is safe
nothing is sound
I have me to lean on
and I am tired
please no comments
nothing you can do
nothing I wish to talk about anymore
I will get over all of this
or I won't
one or the other
things will be
better
so this is why no updates
nothing I want you to hear
nothing you really want to hear
so when you are done reading this
go back in my blog and reread
something
funny
happy
uplifting
insane
etc.
don't worry about me
don't complain that I am complaining
it's my fucking blog
and I will moan a little if I want
you are allowed to moan whenever you want
my turn
goodnight

Stolen from Lumenatrix!

2007-01-03T01:04:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Preformed in San Francisco

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Vowed to change things...damn this was a huge year of change!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
This was a big baby year for me. Elmer and Tammi had babygirl Hailey and Red and Rich had babyboy Ronan

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Uncle

5. What countries did you visit?
The YMCA felt like a new country

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
a good job

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
all of them

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
asking Andrea out on a date

9. What was your biggest failure?
quitting my crap job before having another job lined up

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope the gremlin in my head was pretty quiet

11. What was the best thing you bought?
books

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Andrea, hot damn she did amazing at her new job

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The horrible princepal of that shit school where I used to have that crap job

14. Where did most of your money go?
I had money?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Fringe, Vegas, Santa Cruz, Year of Steve, YMCA

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
High School Never Ends

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a> happier b>about the same I think c>poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
spend more time with my lovely friends.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about things I have no control over.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
beats me

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
yes

22. How many one-night stands?
one very long one :)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST and HEROES

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope still hate the shitty president

25. What was the best book you read?
finally read DaVinci Code, loved CELL, but The Undead and Philosophy opened my eyes a lot and the Colorado Kid was an excellent read!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Daniel Powter and KT Tunstell

27. What did you want and get?
A new job

28. What did you want and not get?
A new job

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Clerks 2 and The Lady in the Water and Cars

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29. spent time with Andie

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
money

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
I have a fashion concept?

33. What kept you sane?
Andie, Tony, Cathy, Rob, Lori, Beth, Jea9, Bea, Anna, Mike, Jason

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kevin Smith, Eddie Izzard, Kate Winslett

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay Marriage

36. Who did you miss?
Elmer and his family

37. Who was the best new person you met?
BETH the Techie! Hands down and awesome chick!!!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Keep climbing uphill

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA

Something to tide you over...

2006-12-27T17:55:00.000-08:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The South
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? Quiz'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Head over and check this out.
X-MAS PAST AND PRESENTS Blog
A STORAGE UNITING WE WILL GO Blog
ENTERING YEAR THREE Blog
CAPTION CONTEST REULTS Blog
NEW CAPTION CONTEST
all coming in the next couple days

CAPTION CONTEST #1

2006-12-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

1.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. I am the ghost of Kwanzaa past, pay no attention to the sock on my head.
b. now, i'm not blaming anyone... all i'm saying is that SOMEHOW Santa turned into powder in the fireplace...
c. Wow, I really need to do something about this cowlick on my head!
d. Welcome to Hogwarts.
e. I don't know.... it only happens when I'm around girls...wanna touch it?
f. hmmm... no lighting...
g. "Hello ladies, don't you think I look like Hef in this robe?... warm in here for all that clothing..."
h. In 10 years, I'll know someone with a mohawk who knows I'm cooler than him.

2.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. That tree looks lonely, perhaps I should go hug it.
b. Humpty dance is your chance to do the Hump
c. I know! No one ever thought kilts and vests go together but they do! Wait...whats that? They don't! Fuck.
d. Yo' B! What up?
e. Ok, it's not funny anymore. Please tell me who hid my pants!
f. I bet you didn't know a god could be this sexy!
g. Tip toe through the tulips...
h. Won't I look cool on my Harley in this outfit?
i. "Alright now, Skeeter, tune up that banjo. Bubba! Stop suckin' on that 'baccy while you're playin' the mouth harp! Ok ready, 2, 3, 4...You get a line and I'll get a pole honey....."
j. Thriller!!
k. And now... the rarely seen, but always anicipated WHITE BOY HULA!!!
l. dude.... I shouldn't have smoked that other headband.....
m. "Oh shit, thats my song! *sings* Play that funky music white boy!!!"
n. "Check me out! I managed 3 decades in one outfit! 70's on top, late 80's vest, and down to a nice 90's grunge. I'm bad ass!"
o. Don't hate. My headband's tight.

3.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a.You can be my wingman anytime.
b.Sexual assault on a machine, public intoxication, public indecency, performing lewd acts on pelvic straps. The list goes on and on.
c. Ok, I honestly tried to come up with something, especially since I'm in this one, but seriously, I can't get past the quilted vest and the mustache. If it wasn't dated 1998, I'd seriously be questioning the decade.
d. woah, my ass just threw up!
e. I shouldn't have had the chili last night...
f. I think I just had an orgasm.
g. Na,N,N,N,N,N,Nuhhhh, Na,N,N,N,N,N,Nuhhhh, Na,N,N,N,N,N,Nuhhhhhhhhh
h. YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
i. We'll take THIS sex swing.

4.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. You're right Scoob, we're dealing with one sick, son-of-a-b@#%h!
b. It's the attack of 1993!
c. Yikes, the flannel monster does exist!
d. Like, yikes Scoob, it's the smelly pit beast! Ruuun!!!
e. SOCKS AND SANDALS AHHHHHHH!!!!!
f. "That's not a ghost Scooby! That's old Mr. Vocque the farm hand!"
g. Booo!! OOOOOoooooooo! I am the teenage plaid boy... and I want the treasure of the stinky cat!
h. "It's not worth the damn Scooby Snacks!!!"
i. I think Shaggy and Scooby are saying it all.

5.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. Not funny, I was the one burried at the bottom.
b. Dude this is bullshit! This is a 8 man tent! Does this mean we need to go on a diet?
c. Where's your other hand? Between two pillows. Those aren't pillows!
d. Help! Let me out! I hear dueling banjos! Run!!
e. and this is a photo of Paris Hilton's vagina...
f. I bent my wookie
g. There's still room for more... Wanna join?
h. I don't want to be the meat in this sandwich!
i. ARRRGH! Who Farted??
j. Your supposed to take your clothes off before you put them in the giant washing machine...
k. Ok, where am I, who are these two guys, and where are my clothes?!
l. Hop, Pop. Hop on Pop!!! We like to hop on Pop!! Stop STOP!!! You must not hop on Pop!
m. *YAWN*.... why do I taste crotch....
n. A typical sunrise at Fruity McGayGay's Summer Camp Grounds
o. 696, awww right! Giggity!
p. James thinks, "Oh MAN... how much did we drink last night?"

6.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. But why is all the whiskey gone?
b. from Columbia/Epic Records: the self titled, "Bone Daddy on the Beach" will debut in 3 weeks!
c. it's Burt Lancaster... wheres Deborah Kerr? and that does not look like Honolulu...
d. Stand further away, I'll look smaller.
e. You guys said you were coming in too, Stop laughing
f. Target employee beach day.
g. Sh--! That's cold.
h. i've gotta pee!
i. "...and I like long walks on the beach, well, maybe not very long walks, just a little stroll, well... you know what, lets just sit right here."
j. "I'm telling you, Capris are gonna make a comeback."

7.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. You win second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10
b. Jason's second life is finally captured on film! Jasophina will no longer have to hide himself at events, family gatherings, or AA meetings.
c. Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both together, Put the lime in the coconut, and you'll feel better, Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em bot' up, Put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning. I don't think those are limes, you're gonna feel like crap in the morning.
d. What a lovely bunch of coconuts!
e. Introducing the new "Tropic-cups": from Victoria's Secret
f. When pasties are just not enough.
g. The sad part is, I'm not the hairiest girl I know.
h. I'm to sexy for these coconuts
i. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!
j. Here at Hooters we pride ourselves on service
k. The Target Employee Beach Party... a few hours later...
l. This and much more on JASON GONE WILD! yours now for only $19.99, all major credit cards accepted
m. My coconut milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and their like, it's better than yours. Damn right it's better than yours.
n. The appropraite way of showing apreciation for the white man hula earlier...
o. wonder if those are real....
p. THE WEED GOD AND THE COCOANUT-BIKINI-TOP-GOD HAD SEX AND SPAWNED THIS...
q. The implants look better under the skin.
r. You should see the cod-piece.

8.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. "I thought they said at Super Hero School that these booths were one size fits all?!?! Damn the hypocrisy!"
b. Yeah Rufus I'm here, but still no sign of Bill and Ted.
c. Hey Anna? Start Driving! The zombie holocaust is starting!!
d. The sky is falling! The sky is falling! (from my wife Char)
e. Dude, you'll NEVER guess which side of the road they drive on over here...
f. Hello? You want to talk to a doctor? Who? Doctor Who? No, no sir why don't you just tell me his name...Who did you want to speak to again? Doctor Who?
g. Holy crap! I think my girlfriend had me followed. How do I know? She's standing outside of this phone holding a sign that reads, "I had you followed!"
h. Mom? I can't talk long... There is a giant 100 foot tall lizard coming this way! He's leveling London. Tell dad I love him!
i. How Much??? 2 pounds? 2 pounds of what?
j. Hi I'm trying to find the best place in town for spotted dick. The Old Cock Pub on High Street? Thanks.
k. Hello? This is 007 Vocque. No it's not my shoe phone I actually found a pay phone. yeah. I wonder if I can change in here like superman
l. "Hello, yes, may I speak to the Queen... yes, of England... yes, I'll hold... "
m. Hey mom? Yeah, Metropolis is in danger again... I forgot to wear the suit under my regular clothes.... It was an accident, can you just bring it down here?.....mom come on, you'll have another bingo night next week... no I'm already in the phone booth... yeah, 64th & Madison...... love you too.... kisses*
n. {voice on phone} "...If you hang up, I will shoot you."
o. "OH MY GOD, ELMER!!! The StayPuf Marshmallow WOMAN is out here, and SHE'S NOT WEARING PANTIES!!!!"

9.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. At one time or another haven't we all wanted to do this?
b. Happy Kwanzza? Did you say happy kwanzza you little mother fucke*! I'LL SHOW YOU THE REAL MEANING OF SPIRIT YOU NAZI SKINHEAD BASTARD! HO HO HO COC*SUCKER!
c. all i want for Christmas is... a restraining-order!
d. How many times do I have to tell you, my lap is for little kids only. What am I supposed to do with you?
e. ...and if you ever go near Mrs.Claus again I swear I'm gonna...
f. Justifiable homicide
g. Quick, it's Larry and Moe!
h. I said a latte you dumb f.....
i. WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU LITTLE MOTHERFU-uh... HO HO HO! Hello children!
j. "YOURE COMIN TO MY SLEIGH YOU LITTLE BITCH, JUST SITTING ON MY LAP ISNT GOING TO GET YOU WHAT YOU'D REALLY LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS...OH, FUCK..."
k. Dammit Dr. Kevorkian, take off that Santa suite!
l. NO, SANTA!! I said I want to be a PIANIST!!!

10.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. This photo brought to you by TECHNI-COLOR
b. What you don't see in this picture is that two minutes ago that bottle was full. That girl sure can hold her liquor!
c. An Oklahoma prom picture.
d. She better not drink all my whiskey
e. The view is better behind me isn't it?
f. photographic proof that i'm as old as i look
g. I need another button...riiight here
h. Living in the 80's waiting for the 90's North East West South all in the same house....
i. Things to do: Take photo... Drink Whiskey.... um.... there's something after that... was there a girl here??... Who's holding my rifle??

11.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. I swear New Orleans was around here somewhere.
b. My buddy, my buddy, whever I go, he goes, my buddy...
c. oh, and watch out for sting-rays... they're a tad more dangerous than we thought.
d. Deep thoughts by Jack Handy...
e. -I'm Jesus!
-No I'M Jesus!
-Okay, I have a way to prove which one of us is Jesus... ready?
-GO!
f. No. Keeping our clothes on let's the sharks know we are not walrus'
g. -Noodling for sharks? You've done this before right? -Don't worry so much, I read about it online.
h. And Last time on Lost..
i. "Elmer, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship"
j. So, how long do you think it'll take to get to Hawaii?
k. "Imagine me & you....."
l. Jason: "You, you complete me Buddy..."
m. sang: "Lowered Expectations..."
n. Katarina!! Arturo!!!

12.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. Hmmm, I wonder what that thumb tastes like?
b. Bart ride to SF: 15 dollars Tickets to see Yorick: 7 dollars 6 to 8 drinks at the after party: 40$ 1 night stay at the YMCA: 70 dollars Waking up with your good friend with a sinking feeling you did something really, really bad last night: absolutely fucking priceless.
c. Hey, Jaye, i had this weird dream that we were straight... and there were Ewoks with fire hats on too!
d. THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!
e. oh jolly... I've found the golden ticket...
f. Go to my happy place. Go to my happy place. Wait...this is my happy place.
g. Boy oh boy, Santa did come last night!
h. My, my, that's an realistic teddy bear you have there!
i. See! I told you it was too small to wake him up!
j. -Sang- Secret Lovers... k. "Uh, that's not my right hand in your back"
l. Hey! It IS fun to stay at the YMCA!
m. NARRATOR: Little Johnny was so happy to wake up and see the tooth fairy had read his note, and left him what he coveted over any amount of money.
n. Finally, the kind of guy on guy action I've been looking for!
o. hee hee hee... He's sucking his THUMB.. Quick! You take out his thumb, and I'll, uh... REPLACE it with something else!!!

13.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. and again the devil tried to tempt Jesus.
b. Me and Uncle Jesus sharing Cheetos...
c. Ok I give. Can we call a truce?
d. Just have a wiff of this and you'll feel much better
e. Pan: You know, I used to be a ladies man until you came along. I can't compete with you. Just keep my magic dick. Keep it. Sob.
f. Jesus you look thin.
g. This some good shit! Wanna hit, statue man?
h. Goonies: "CHUNK, YOU CLUTZ!!!"
i. "Hey, dude... um, your dick fell off."
j. Here's that 50 I owe you. You're right, Red is the bomb.

14.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. No, no the drink is my present. Yours is behind the bow.
b. No, Jaye, the term is blue BALLS not bows. Easy mistake.
c. Man I have had this killer rash the last couple days and......holy shit!
d. actually, this IS my dick... yeah, i was in a horrible cheese-grating accident as a young man...
e. Do you think this makes me look gay?
f. One stylin ensemble, $50. Big blue bow, 50 cents. What's under the bow, priceless.
g. "That Jaye. A little time...a lotta booze...he'll fuck anything!!"
h. Like my new beltbuckle? Goes with my San Francisco cocktail don't you think? i. I never thought I would be one of those people with gential bow warts. She told me she was a virgin. Damnit. We only did it one time.
j. Yeah, the doctor said it has to be surgically removed... Don't touch it. It's contagious. I'm planning to cut it off myself later, hence the large alcoholic beverage. Hold me.
k. Why don't you come back to my place and open my bow? No? umm... just sex then?
l. too easy
m. Would you like to "open" me to new ideas?

15.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. How many times do I have to tell you guys, write your blocking down because I don't.
b. wow! you were right... these Depends ARE absorbent! i might never use a toilet again!
c. For the love of little red tomatoes, will someone please tell me: WHO THE HELL IS STEVE?!
d. You're always in here with the fuckin matches! Fuckin matches!!! Ah...
e. Could you hurry the play along? My girlfriend said I'm gonna get laid after the show.
f. what do you mean i'm not in this play? i'm in all the other fuckin' plays here.
g. Sorry... I'm a little gassy... Thank goodness I'm near the door.
h. you're not buying it? Then YOU come out of the closet!
i. Not my cue? OH MY. IT SEEMS I FORGOT SOMETHING. Damn it Yaghi.
j. "Excuse me, is this Smiler's Comedy Playhouse?"
k. -"uh....what'd you call me for?"
-"I didn't call you"
-"you sure"
-"yup"
-"well I gotta go...........oh there's a message."
l. "Oh honey im ho---WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN ON MY COUCH WITH THE PLUMBER?!?!?"
m. "Have you guys seen my purse?"
n. Did I miss the nurse scene?

16.
WHAT CAPTION GOES BEST WITH THIS PICTURE?
a. Have I told you, you look great in gold?
b. I'm Too Sexy for this Vest Too Sexy for this Vest More Sexy than the Rest :)
c. i'd like to conclude this evening with a quote from Socrates, who's immortal words were: "....... I drank what?"
d. And as my next act I will be performing a little roller disco! Hit it!!
e. ..Danke schoen, -thank you- darling danke shoen, -no, no you're too kind- thank you for all the ...
f. "Now I... I've had the time of my li-i-ife... And I owe it all to you-o-o-o-o!"
g. "I would do anything for love......but I won't do that."
h. two Jews walk into a bar...No it's two walk into a juice bar, No, a man and a duck... shit, I forget now
i. Cause we are living in a material world and I am a material girl.
j. (Singing) "Let's get physical, physical. Let me hear your body talk" (only slower and dirtier)
k. "you are too kind, Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here at the lovely Oakland Airport Lounge all week. Now, for a little something for the newlyweds out there..."
l. "Whats new pussycat, whoooa wow whooooa!"
m. Mmmmm, robot dick...
n. Jason thinks..."Chicks dig singing guys in vests."

Voting begins today and continues until December 31st.
Winners will be announced in my first post of 2007!
New caption contest will begin shortly after!
Enjoy!
Don't forget to vote!

[shouting in desperation] Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?

2006-12-05T00:23:00.000-08:00

Lights please!

Now before I begin if you want to go visit the original post "And His Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day" for November of last year. just follow this link and enjoy.
http://sleeplesswalrus.blogspot.com/2005/11/and-his-heart-grew-three-sizes-that.html

It is the Christmas season again. And as anyone who knows me at all knows, it is not at all my favorite time of year. I hate getting gifts, I feel uncomfortable and "not worthy" I guess. Beyond that, the major commercialized push around this time has also pissed me off (think Charlie Brown all grown up and loud). Add on top of that, the fact that everyone is "oh so happy" or actually just doing a damn good job at faking it. And don't even get me started on those cheesy lights.

So last year on this amazing blog I posted a challenge to all my readers. And that challenge is coming again...

I dare you to do something for your fellow man.
I dare you to give, not just at this time of year but year round to charities you believe in.
I dare you to be the spirit of Christmas and prove to Charlie Brown that someone can tell him what Christmas is all about.

So how do you do this?
Easy just read a couple quick stories here on my blog and follow the story to a link for a site that you can help at.
Not all of these charities need only money. Some need items. Some need your time. But all need some attention.

Story One:
LAYLA
Layla was a little blind Norwich Terrier that I welcomed into my heart the year before last. Anyone who had a chance to meet her would say one of two things about her, "She is so sweet" or "My god what is that smell?" She was old, blind, and as we later found out, very very sick. So who would take in this puppy? And Why?
Me, my heart went out to her shivering in a cage surrounded by much younger, and honestly cuter puppies all of which would find a home quickly. But not my Layla girl. If it wasn't for me she would have been put down.
One of her favorite things to do is yank, pull, push and root into a blanket until it was perfect. So to honor her, I drop off as many blankets as I can come across to the local ASPCA. If I can not take all those dogs and cats home that will not find a home I can at least help out with making their last days comfortable.
Bring by towels, blankets, treats, toys, etc. to your local ASPCA and tell them Layla sent you.
http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer

Story Two:
DAN CASSEL
In High School I had a good friend named Dan Cassel. Anyone who met him would describe him as FUNNY. He was terrific, and one of the best friends I will ever have.
Now, Dan was born with a heart problem. A familiar story. He made it a long long time with this problem. Long enough to touch my life, and many more.
One day he was going to go in for a heart transplant. He was scheduled for surgery on Sunday. Friday night I got a call from Dan. We laughed. We always laughed. He said he loved me. I said I would come visit him Monday morning if I was allowed in. Late Saturday night, he left us all to laugh alone.
The American Heart Association could use help, not only with money but in helping to raise more money. Swing on by and drop them a gift from Dan Cassel, as he gave us all.
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=1200000

Story Three:
JON KLUDT
Jon would do anything for a laugh.
Jon rapped Shakespeare while dancing like one of the Beastie Boys. Jon did some "things" involving door knobs and banana peels on a Field trip. Jon would do morning announcements in high school and mispronounce my last name. His goal was to find the funniest version of my name. He settled for "Vo-cue-huey."
At his funeral when he died of a long battle with Leukemia he had made a video of himself during his chemo. Somehow throughout all that was going on with him he found the strength and desire to lip sync Elvis tunes into his blood pressure monitors.
Help Jon Kludt keep singing his tunes but giving to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
http://www.leukemia.org/hm_lls

Story Four:
BRANDON ROGERS
Brandon was such a talented actor. Funny man, who made a room full of people laugh. He had a memory that still staggers my mind. He started a joke to me backstage during a show we were in together. But he could never finish it because of line cues. By the end of the show I never heard the punchline. A couple of years later I ran into him at Target and he started the joke right where he left off but was called away with an overhead call. A few months later he died of unknown causes, taking the punchline with him.
One day I will ask him, but for now help future Brandon Rogers out there work on their crafts with a donation to the National Endowment for the Arts.
http://arts.endow.gov/

Story Five:
JOHN MCMIKIN
John was a teacher for Lodi Unified School District. Probably the best they have ever seen. He was teaching severely handicapped when I met him. His heart was bigger than anyone I had ever met. He taught me a lot of things, but the one thing that stayed with me the most is that never ever underestimate people. John had one leg, he had lost the other one due to foolish youth. But that never slowed him down. I could never underestimate him. And I learned to never underestimate any Special Ed. student I would ever have after. Maybe one day I will learn to never underestimate myself.
John is the one that pushed me to coach Special Olympics. Which I did for three years. He loved the feeling of the Special Olympics, and it went well with his philosophy of never underestimating anyone.
Help the coaches and athletes by donating money, but more importantly donating time. Help with events or find out what it takes to become a coach. Let them know you learned about it all from John McMikin.
http://www.specialolympics.org/Special+Olympics+Public+Website

Story Six:
LISA PETERSON
Lisa sang her heart out. She didn't care what anyone thought. If she wanted to sing, she would. That fearlessness I admired. She convinced we to sing MeatLoaf with her once. And yes, we were awful, out of tune and drunk off our asses. As I was feeling bad about damn near being booed off of a karaoke stage (do you realize how bad you have to sound for THAT to actually happen?) Lisa walked up to me and offered to buy me a drink to thank me for singing that song with her. She had always wanted to do it but no one would ever try it with her. I saw the look in her eyes, it was like she actually got to sing WITH MeatLoaf. She was that excited. It never mattered how we sounded, it was the experience.
Lisa had a lot of health problems, and the pain got to her. I need you to do what I did last year. Find out what it takes to be a hotline operator for Suicide Hotlines. They need all the extra people they can get, especially during the Holidays. Don't let the pain get to anyone else, let them all know Lisa Peterson still cares.
http://suicidehotlines.com/

AND NOW FOR SOME STORIES WITH A HAPPIER ENDING

Story Seven:
LINDA VOCQUE
My mother. What can I say about this woman? Well my on-going joke is she is a blind midget. Well it is half right. My mother lost her sight due to a combo of Diabetes and a near fatal car accident. However even blind she can paint better then I can, bowl better then I can, and on numerous occasions went shopping, traveling, etc. all alone. Nothing stops this woman, even as she helps others who are blind (insert "blind leading blind" joke here). She damn near single handedly puts together many many charity events for the Community Center for the Blind here in Stockton, CA.
Help my mother Linda Vocque lead some good people into doing things better than me :) and donate money or time to the Community Center for the Blind.
http://www.communitycenterfortheblind.org/

Story Eight:
JESSE VOCQUE
Recently my father was diagnosed with lung and stomach cancer. Has this stopped my father, hell no. The strongest man I have ever seen still gets up and tries to go to work. Sure some days the pain stops him, but he does not let it finish him off.
Donate money towards research at The American Association for Cancer Research that may help my father Jesse Vocque work everyday.
http://www.aacr.org/

Story Nine:
LINDA & JESSE VOCQUE
It is no secret that both my parents have diabetes. Truth of the matter is that one day I myself will have diabetes. It is sort of a ticking time bomb, although I noticed it and do my best to slow down the chances of getting it. Many many people my age have one or two parents with diabetes and live with the fact that one day they themselves will have it.
This scares them, help make their and my future a little less scary by donating to the American Diabetes Association.
http://www.diabetes.org/home.jsp

Story Ten:
WALT DASTE
This year we were surrounded by cancer news and scares. Andrea, my beautiful Jaguar's father Walt found out he had colon cancer. But became the poster boy for early detection by catching it and beating it ASAP. Walt is a funny man, who laughed throughout all of it. As his daughter would cry about the fear of losing her dear dad, he would joke about the x-rays of his colon and proving he was not "full of shit."
Give an extra hand to those who do not get the early detection medal like Walt Daste did by donating to the American Institute for Cancer Research.
http://www.aicr.org/site/PageServer

Story Eleven:
RONAN LANE PHIPPS
Recently two amazing people brought forth another wonderful little person. The strength and honesty of his father Rich Phipps, the beauty and understanding of his mother Sonja Phipps. Little Ronan is a sight to be held. I know, I have had the honor of holding him.
However, as if they needed to have proof of their love for this little angel, Ronan had to be hospitalized. It was terrifying for the family and heartbreaking for the friends. However we all learned a valuable lesson from Ronan, don't take anything for granted. We also learned just how much The Ronald McDonald House helps the families of the little ones going into the hospital. We have all seen those little boxes at the register at McDonalds, well those little boxes helped save a life. And many lives as I learned from their site.
Drop a few quarters in the box at your local McDonalds and whisper Ronan's name, as I do. And for those looking to do more, stop by the Ronald McDonald House Charities site and see what else you can do to help little angels like Ronan Phipps and his wonderful family.
http://www.rmhc.com/rmhc/index.html

So those are my stories and my charities, share with me some of yours please. And let me know that everyone is helping during this time of year, and all year long for that matter.

Pics from CLOSING (like I promised)

2006-12-04T00:12:00.000-08:00

So here is a good "sample" of the pics taken at the Kiley's Dinner Theatre Closing Night Celebration! More to come as Steph, Monk and Lace all develop their cameras and burn me copies like they promised. Until then though...enjoy...

We see the sign!

Goldman rocking the mic with 4-B-5!

Joe and I practicing for THE FULL MONTY. SCT beware, here we come.

I wouldn't even care if they we singing or not. I mean look at these two gorgeous ladies. However they did sing, and ROCKED at Cell Block Tango.

Kiley singing or something.

My Jaguar actaully sang...and sang WELL!!!

Miss Lori rocking the mic as usual!

See what happens when we leave props are Rae!

A great and happy couple!

My baby and me in a breif moment of calm during this fast paced party!

The Chase Sisters and the lovely Amber.

Miss Lori and Steph, rocking the little black dresses!

Like mother, like daughter.

Miss Lori and My "PROM" Photo!

My "daughter" and I having a good cry. I will definately cast her one day.

RARE PHOTO: Tony & Jaye together!

Andie giving Monkey his clock. Flaver Flav style YO!

Mr. Kiley and myself. I think he is calling me fat!

Daryn showing us his skills....and then he played some piano for us.

The (self-dubbed) Big Boobie Trio...taking the show on the road soon!

America's Newest Boy Band: MONK, FAT, & GAY!

Check out M, F, & G's amazing moves...you know it is making you moist!

I think Miss Lori is saying it best...but Shawn is saying it with a smile.

MORE PICS TO COME....I SWEAR!!!

I BLOG ALONE!!!

2006-12-01T10:14:00.000-08:00

So it happened again. It actually happens quite a lot in life.
What is this "it" I am speaking of?
Well the "it" is this...
I have a right to my opinion. I thought at least, I mean that is why it is my opinion. But sometimes people don't think my opinion is correct, simply because it is not their opinion.
I like televison shows, music, books and movies that I like, not that YOU like. Now sometimes we can agree on things, but not always.
Now when this usually happens it is on something big. It isn't like "Well I didn't really care for that play." And it is not responded with "Eh, I can understand."
It is usually like "I didn't like that movie that everyone else really enjoyed." And it is responded with "How? How could you not like a movie with that actor, or director, or whatever..." Okay so no one has ever said "whatever."
Now I am not picking on anyone. I mean this has happened my whole life.
It started when I said The Three Stooges weren't funny. MY OPINION. But I actually lost a friend over it.
So rather then go case by case, I am just going to list off some movies (because it happens more with movies then anything else) that the majority of people enjoyed and I just didn't like at all.

Gone With The Wind
A Christmas Story
A Beautiful Mind
Catch Me If You Can
The DaVinci Code
Lost in Translation
The Royal Tenenbaums
Punch Drunk Love
The Terminal
The Matrix
The Godfather
The James Bond Movies
Star Wars Trilogy
Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Neopolean Dynamite

Now please don't judge me. These are my opinions. I am not saying you are stupid for liking The Matrix. I am saying I hated it. I am sure there are movies you hated that I loved. That is why so many different kind of movies come out every year, so there is something for everyone.

What movies do I like? Well I posted my top 100 movies list back in the summer, but since you don't want to go back and find those, here are a handful of movies I love.

Casablanca
Clerks
The Full Monty
The Jerk
Stripes
Crash
Awakenings
Psycho
Night of the Living Dead
As Good As It Gets
Moulin Rouge
Jersey Girl
The Producers
Schindler's List
The Crying Game

And many many more...
So just remember, the next time I give my opinion on a movie, music, play, book, tv show, etc. It is just MY opinion. And so what our opinions differ, no reason to fight, and definately no reason to try and change my opinion. It is not like some where on viewing 47 of The Godfather I am suddenly going to go "WOW! This is great!" So please don't tie me up and make me watch it 45 more times.

THANKS!

Kiley's Dinner Theatre Top 15

2006-11-29T15:29:00.000-08:00

After 6 years and 47 shows, Kiley's Dinner theatre in Lodi, CA has closed it's doors. Thankfully I was given the opportunity to work on 20 of those amazing shows in one way or another. But when I was asked the other day what I thought was the best shows Kiley's had put on, I was a bit stumped. I mean I could easily say what I thought was the worst shows they had put on. We remember the bad times so vividly. However wanting to stay positive I decided to sit down and cast my vote for the top 15 shows Kiley's Dinner Theatre had put on. It was honestly going to only be a top ten list however my "Honorable Mentions" list was almost as long so I decided after 47+ shows you get a whole Top 15 List. Now remember this is just my opinion. And how was that opinion formed? Well first by my viewing of the material. No I did not get a chance to see EVERY show that Kiley's had put on over the years. I did miss a few. However my opinion was also formed by what I heard the audience saying about certain shows, how many times the shows were brought up (in a good light) in conversations at the theatre, actors responses to the shows, but mainly by what I saw and loved the most. This of course does not put down the other shows, I mean out of 47 I picked 15 and 4 honorable mentions. If you think I should have mentioned a show on the list TELL ME!!! This is your chance. Don't just sit back and say "Well you only mentioned that show because you were in it. My show was much better." Let me fucking know. Post your own top 15 of Kiley's list on my comment section. Or if you agree with most my list just think a couple are off let me know. Switch them out by telling me the instead of this as number 7 I should have this. Hell even if you agree with the whole damn list but think it is in the wrong order...COMMENT AND TELL ME THAT AS WELL!!!

And now on with the list...

First up My Honorable Mentions...

HONORABLE MENTION #1: It's A Wonderful Life
Large cast, touching show, well acted, no stage, and it was the show that started it all. I know people talk very fondly about this show, however with the cast that size you do have more room for weak links. Never discounting the amazing strong points that this show had to offer.

HONORABLE MENTION #2: A Tribute to Abbot and Costello
Ran two seasons, held over, over booked, earned Elly Nods, and over all an audience favorite, not to mention one of Kiley's favorites himself. However one of those not for everyone shows. Very dated material, which I heard several audience members say. I personally LOVED watching this show, all seven times I saw it.

HONORABLE MENTION #3: A Peanuts Holiday Celebration
First done with adults, earning Elly nods, and then the following year done with children, Peanuts became a Holiday tradition at Kiley's quite a bit in line with Abbot and Costello. The cast of the adult's cast looks back with great memories of that show, and had the ability to get to be the kids they were in their hearts.

HONORABLE MENTION #4: Company
Okay this was not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoyed it so much I saw it twice. I thought it was well cast (over-all) and well performed (over-all). Sure it was a bit long and the Bobby Baby song could have been cut. But I thought it was a touching story brought to life from some talented folks.

And now finally the actual Top 15 List...

15: The Star-Spangled Girl
This three person ensemble was stellar. They hit this out of the park nightly. Sure the show was up against negative press (remember when we got press), Brian McCoy hammered the point home in the Record that Neil Simon himself hates the script for this show. Kiley gave this show a terrific compliment saying that if Simon could see this production of the show, he would think differently.

14: Lend Me A Tenor
Fast paced, well directed, and an ending scene that blew audiences away. I know the director sometimes doesn't look back on this show often, he had the unfortunate feat of having to direct and star in this show (he did both wonderfully) but it is a tiring task and leads to not having as much fun when you are working double duty.

13: Funny Money
Audiences loved this comedy and it earned Mike Kiley an Elly Award. Sure the cast looks at this show as the one they covered Kiley's butt on stage the most. But maybe that is why audiences loved it? It always felt fresh, and isn't that why we do theatre?

12: Barefoot in the Park
A classic comedy and extremely well acted. The two leads had not done leads before so it had a since of newness, not the same couples we had seen dozens of times before. Each performer turned in some top notch acting. And who could forget one of the greatest ad-libs in Kiley's history (after "I am in here...covering." from Out of Order), "There is no glass in this window." That killed the crowd. And still makes me laugh.

11: Cahoots
I still kick myself for not directing this show when Kiley gave me the chance. This was such a good show. Sure the first act takes a while to get cooking. But each actor did so well with their role that that didn't matter. I feel it really pushed each of the performers to do something more they hadn't done on that stage before.

10: Mister Roberts
Such a touching show. And still very surprising he got that many guys in one show. Each one of them so fitting. I would like to mention Ensign Pulver stepping up at last minute into his role and doing just a top notch job, no one could tell he hadn't been there the whole time.

9: Chapter Two
This show brought me to tears. Such a well acted piece. Not to mention well directed, and saying well written would be an understatement. This is the type of show that both Kiley and I love the most, very funny but with a lot of heart.

8: It Had To Be You
They smallest cast ever at Kiley's. This two person show was a tour-de-force. Each actor putting their best work up there on stage and pulling the audience in close to live through these insane events with them.

7. Play It Again, Sam
This is obviously one of my favorite shows of all time. If only for the line "It's from Casablanca...I've waited my whole life just to say it." Kiley gave the audience a character they fell in love with. Which is tough, being that the main character is sleeping with his best friend's wife.

6. California Suite
Still talked about by the cast as one of the best jobs they had done. Each scene was phenomenal. Such a strong cast. And again gave us the laughs we craved and the heart we were looking for. Quite a bit like Kiley's Dinner Theatre itself.

5. The Lion in Winter
If you go purely on what the audience has to say this may be a lot higher on the list. Sure it was a bit long. But what were you expecting going into a show like The Lion in Winter? The costumes were fantastic, the sets gorgeous, the acting flawless. (Well, not everyone.) But for a second let's just mention the King and Queen and what a homerun performance those two gave every night!

4. Amateurs
This was one of the most difficult shows to get through. The actors did a fabulous job at making you feel uncomfortable when you were in one of those scenes that you SHOULD feel uncomfortable watching. I can not single anyone out in this cast, each gave so much and was a joy to watch. I do have to kick myself for not taking a role I was offered in that show.

3. Yorick & Company
Was spoken of so highly by audiences that it could have ran in back to back time slots on the calender. Hell it was viewed so highly by the cast that most of them got back together and did it again in San Francisco, paying their own money to drive and stay in SF just to do the show.

2. 12 Angry Men
This was one of my favorite shows to watch. Difficult to get a cast that size to be as strong as they were. But let's focus on the two leads, honest, believable, raw, we as an audience were trapped in that jury room with them.

1. Tribute
Now it may be too soon to look back on a show that closed two weeks ago, but there was a reason that audiences, Kiley's "family" members, cast and crew a like said that the theatre aved the best for last. This was a flawless cast, not a weak link in the group, and honestly look back and think of when was the last time you could say that fact. Such a fun, funny show with more heart and emotion then any before it. Not to mention we got Kiley to drop his pants not once but twice.

So There you go. Don't agree? Feel I left something out? Think I left you out on purpose? Pissed off thinking I picked mainly shows I either acted in or directed? Well screw you! :) Notice the smiley face? That means I am joking. I didn't pick a few shows I acted in and left out a couple shows I directed out of the top 15. But that does not knock those shows. I just had to narrow the list down so used audience and cast responses to help figure out the list. Go ahead and comment. Let me know where I went wrong...or right if that is possible.

Actual photos from Halloween Night!

2006-11-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

My costume? Tony Yaghi Jr. 6 Months Earlier.

Here is Tony and "Tony -6" next to each other.

Cathy and Tony

Joe and Liz showing off the bellies.

Cathy a druid priestess?...I would go to church more often.

Cathy and "Tony-6"

The Year of Steve Pics Volume FOUR!

2006-11-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

Winston, you know the black ghostbuster.

Mary Ann, I'd be stuck on the island anytime you want!

Didn't this guy used to be in the Village People?

Hold me closer tiny dancer! Let the....well you know.

Tony Yaghlione and his Dame.

The dirtiest angel ever!

How can I be a great demon hunter if my jacket get's caught in the door?

How can this man be any older?

The Year of Steve Pics Vol. 3!

2006-11-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

MEN! Well...sort of.

Are you rubbing them for good luck?

Wait a minute!!! Hey Little Ronan...didn;t your mommy where that same outfit last year?

Three lovely ladie's in the kitchen!

HALLOWEEN (The Year of Steve) Pics Volume 2

2006-11-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

Birthday Twins Unite!!! Wow I think I have had dreams that started out like this!

Oh Ghost Boys!!! Sexy? Maybe. Scary? Not really. Fun? HELL YES!

Finally Joe is Tall!

New Mom and Mom To Be share stories.

"I am all in for 27 M&M's!!!"

Now that is cute!

See Baby Ronan this is what we call a horror movie. Don't worry Uncle Skippy will explain it to you later.

Hey why does our Techie look so mad? Is it the bar fight the night before? Nope. It is the fact that she "won" Jaws The Revenge on DVD in the trivia contest!

"That's right! I am the true Queen of this couch damnit!"

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

2006-11-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

So let me see. What do I need to fill you in on?

TRIBUTE
The show closed with great success. Everyone in it was just amazing, and lucky for me I had a very hard working crew as well. The show touched a lot of people (and not in that dirty way, although I am sure there was some of that going on backstage). It was tough for anyone who has, let's say...a "strained" relationship with their father, like myself. I heard lots of comments from audience members and fellow Kiley's family that this was the best show Kiley's ever put on, too soon to look back and say I think. All I know is that I worked my ass off on it, and therefore made my cast and crew work just as hard as I was. They all gave outstanding performances and I am very very proud of them. But then again I think they know that from all my "circle times."

KILEY'S DINNER THEATRE CLOSED
I never honestly thought I would see the day. I mean for six years we all knew that "this might be the last season." But it kept pluggin along, do some great work. And then I got the phone call from Mike. Fastforward a few months and we have Mike and his brother clearing out his stuff and making dump runs, Cathy grabbing all her stuff she left behind, Bea going through the costume racks, Amber having a team carry out the flats into a truck, Rob showing up and hurting his back (fitting), Joe showing up and helping take apart what he helped build, and Tony and I spending around 16 hours there taking down what it took 6 years to put up. Emotional? You bet. Even as we took axe and sledge hammer to the stage I felt bad. Oh sure for me somewhat, I mean this is the first time in nine years I didn't know when or where my next show is going to be. But mostly I felt bad for everyone that called this place home. Sure not everyone visited as much as they should have, but come on when was the last time you just showed up at your folk's house? This place had so much love, friendship and good times in it we could almost feel them as we took down the set. Now before I start singing a song from Cats, I am going to end this part of the blog, getting misty eyed.

JOB FRONT
I have had some interveiws but heard nothing back yet. I bit frustrated. I mean I know I shouldn't have quit that HELL job I had until I had another one lined up. But those of you that knew the situation it was honestly me or them. And since they weren't budging, it was me.

THE HOLIDAYS
It is really no secret that I do not care much for the holidays. But like last year I will be posting a list of places you can donate time and/or money too this season. I was shouted at last year by a good friend saying it was stupid to just get people to donate during the holidays. True it is stupid. But I try to do stuff all year long and I would like to believe that anyone who starts during the holidays continues all year. So in the next couple of days expect a blog updating the post I did last year around this time, with links and everything included.

THE PICS I PROMISED
I am getting two cameras developed today. On them is the Kiley's closing party and tearing down the walls. So I will be posting them (oh yeah and the Halloween ones I still haven't finished putting up).

SPEAKING OF "TEARING DOWN THE WALLS"
I had this friend. She was very close to me. We shared a lot, sometimes too much. However during the past year we didn't speak at all. A variety of reasons on both parts. However being that the closing party was a time to either let go or cement relationships. I took this friend outside and asked if we could start over. Fresh for next year I guess you could say. Thankfully she accepted. I wish her all the best with her bundle of joy. And am glad to once again, get to know her.

UPCOMING BLOGS on www.sleeplesswalrus.blogspot.com
>Why I want to be Mike Kiley When I grow up!
>Halloween Pics
>Closing Night Party Pics
>All the world's a stage, and Tony and I ripped that stage apart!
>And His Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day REDUX
>Entering YEAR THREE

UPCOMING BLOGS on www.jayeshow.blogspot.com
>My jump back into acting, the countdown begins
>Top Ten Kiley's Shows (just my opinion)
>Shows I am looking at for the near future and why

Introducing a new BLOG soon...this one will chronicle the creation, filming, editing, etc. of INEVITABLE PRODUCTIONS upcoming flick...

My Tarot

2006-11-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

And in the End...

2006-11-21T00:11:00.000-08:00

And yes I was...I have the blood to prove it!
More on the closing of Tribute, Kiley's Dinner Theatre, Why I want to be Mike Kiley when I grow up, pictures from the ending events, tearing down the walls (literally and figuratively, and much much more later...now sleep SLEEP!!!

The "YEAR OF STEVE" pics Volume 1

2006-11-14T23:08:00.000-08:00

Pictures of
Jason Lee Vocque's 12th Annual Halloween Horror Movie Marathon!
AKA The "YEAR OF STEVE"
These photos are not in chronological order (mostly because I can't spell that word).

Group Photo in the Kitchen...from left Rich, Rob, Tony, Cathy, Liz, and Joe

Wizard of Gay, Bitch Wand and Key Master chilling after the Midnight Showing!

Gimme A Warning, Gangster Tony, and The Black Ghostbuster chilling after the Midnight Shoing!

Sada, a Monkey in very short shorts, and our wonderful Techie chilling after the Midnight Showing!

You can tell they are related, they have the same eyes!

Awwww! Look at the cute couple!

Our Techie and the Old Guy were drinking Jameson without me and look what happens. I wonder what he said.

WOW! We sure look tall!

There's a couple of Beauties!

OKAY SO THIS IS FAR FROM ALL THE PICS I TOOK!
Just wait...YEAR OF STEVE Volume 2, coming soon!

A (few) Quick Word(s) of Advice For the Youth of the Nation!

2006-11-11T00:49:00.000-08:00

Honestly if it weren’t illegal I will kill most of you before you were allowed to breed, that is assuming that you haven’t already.
Now this does not apply to all teenagers. Trust me. I understand that some of you are down right good, wonderful people, or at least have the potential to be such.
So for all of you teenagers who are decent, hard-working, honest, trying to get by, well-grounded, intelligent, talented, not taking themselves to seriously, respectful, considerate individuals PLEASE STOP READING NOW!
Okay now that we have weeded out to 10% of teenagers. Let me get to my point. Now I know how all of this blog is going to sound. “Oh look, the guy has gotten so old he forgot what it was like to be a teenager.” Untrue, pack of lies. I hated ‘you people’ when I was lumped in as ONE of ‘you people.’ There are certain behaviors that you do that royally pisses me off. Now I also understand that some so called “adults” also exhibit these behaviors. I mean you had to learn it from somewhere other than video games and cable television. I blame them as well, and trust me, they will get what is coming to them.
I went to the movies tonight. (I know my mistake). And five minutes into the movie a large group of teenagers (and a 7 year old) waltzed into the theatre and began talking about how this place was “fucking packed.” They were all pissed that they couldn’t sit together, and made that fact clear very loudly. (Maybe if they had, oh I don’t know, arrived at the actual start time of the film this would not have been a goddamn problem!) Two of the group sat down next to me and my Jaguar. I was a little upset when she bullied her way to my armrest and cupholder while I was taking a sip, but I let it slide, hell the movie we were watching was about forgiveness, generosity, and learning life lessons. So as SAW3 continued on the screen the girl, I will call her Armrestnapper leaned over and whispered to me “I am sorry if I scream too loud, I scare easily.” I had hope for teenagers right then and there.
That hope faded fast. A couple of the teenagers (and the 7 year old) found a spot about three rows behind us. After they sat there in silence (for a couple of seconds) the 7 year old, apparently disturbed by the images flickering on the screen (who knew the MPAA was worth something after all?) began fusing a bit, honestly the fusing had a lot less volume then the grand entrance they had all made. So the couple, to their credit, decide to take the kid and leave. However rather then grabbing all their stuff together and quietly standing up after they had gathered their belongings and the child, they stood up in front of people loudly and began bitching about the kid as they got their stuff together. A Mexican lady behind them quietly asked them to sit down so she could see the movie. To which the teenager responded “what the fuck? I am trying to leave Taco.” Hahahaha oh racism can be so funny, huh? Armrestnapper chimed in “what the hell is that lady bitching about? She is just getting up to leave. Fuck.” Ahter thatI felt like the Republicans must have felt the day after elections (see I can get political too, and not just complain about stuff).
Defeated I tried to settle in to my movie and the rest of my “date nite.” Only to have the peaceful silence (remember I was watching SAW3) shattered by these two explaining the movie to each other. Okay I can almost forgive this behavior in the elderly because a group of old ladies share one set of ears (I know from years of doing dinner theatre) but these girls had their hearing, just apparently the group shared a brain.
Too make this long story short (I know I know “a bit late for that”) the rest of the flick consisted of these two yammering away to each other, two more of their group apparently breaking a large glass object in the back row (my guess is alcohol, learn from my mistakes kids, if you are sneaking alcohol into a movie use a sports bottle), and the return of the couple with the 7 year old.
This whole event reminded me of a time I went with J9 to the movies last year around this time. And the group of teenagers behind us came in late, and began talking on their cell-phones to give directions to a friend that was supposed to meet them. One gal was putting her feet on the backs of the chair next to me, fine it was empty. Then she moved to sit next to her boyfriend on his other side and continued putting her feet on the backs of the chair in front of her, the one occupied by J9. I gave her a look she kicked J9’s chair a little harder and put her foot up near J9’s head. As J9 was leaning over to me, obviously to say “do you want to move” as physically grabbed this gal’s feet and flung them off the chair. She yelled in her boyfriend’s ear (poor guy he was sitting right next to her) “he touched me, ain’t you gonna do nothing?” He leaned forward angry, I leaned back and stared him in the eye, he saw my look (and the size of me) and then he leaned to her and said calmly “you better stop that, he’s gonna be pissed.” Who says all teenagers are dumb? He learned something very valuable that day. No matter what they think, teenagers are not invincible, and some people may want to prove that fact to them.
All in all the 7 year old did give me some hope, he was quiet and seemed polite when he asked to use the restroom, and was met with a “shit we just got back!” Which was responded from the other girl with a “you better take him, if he pisses himself I ain’t changing his black ass.”
That poor poor child.
And to those of you "good kids" out there I am sorry you had to read all of that, but then again that means you don't follow directions too well, huh? (I mean I put it in bold and everything for you, what more did you want?)
And to all the rest of you, I swear no matter how much I want to I will not go on a killing spree of all teenagers (although SAW3 did give me some ideas.)
In closing, if you don't know how to act while other people are watching a movie, don't go to the movies. If the movie is something that a 7 year old (your baby borther or your baby) shouldn't see, don't bring them to it. Always use plastic. Never steal a fat man's cupholder. Come into a movie on time. Don't talk. Because somewhere out there is a man who is going to blog it all. But worse yet somewhere out there is someone who won't use my common sense and will go on a killing spree.
But the they will make a movie about that. And teenagers will walk into that late and loud and piss some other guy off and...
See the never-ending circle we live in?

CELEB...

2006-11-10T12:10:00.000-08:00

What the hell? Is this thing working right?

Ah! Now that is a bit more like it!

We could be Heroes...just for one day!

2006-11-08T00:43:00.000-08:00

So I have been thinking a lot about heroes lately.
No I haven't seen the show of the same name on ABC (I think), although I have heard a lot about it and the fact that it is one of the best shows on television right now (after LOST of course).
Nope, I am not talking about City of Heroes, even though I am totally addicted to that game now. A very long time since I have said that about a game, I think Diablo2.
And lord knows I am not talking about those people voted into office this fateful day.
I am talking true, real honest to goodness, want to lead your own life following their example.
On MySpace there is a section asking you to put in your HEROES.
This was a tough section for me, but the one I look at first on all my friends.

What makes a HERO?
Who is your HERO?

Standard responses...
1. Jesus- Honestly come on here! Okay I get it you want to live your life by his teachings...but stop and take the time to find someone HERE you can make your hero that follows his teachings then. And that way you can prove to us non-believers that others are following him as close as you are.
2. My Dad/My Mom- Okay so your parents are your first teachers, the ones that show you who and what to love and hate. And I can buy this one if your parents are going through or have survived so cancer or something, that is heroic.
3. Firefighters/Police- Okay they do have a tough ass job. They do things I can not or would not do. But it is their JOB. They chose to do it. Why don't more people call teachers Heroes? They are doing their job, that they chose to do.
4. The Military- Don't get me started!!!
5. AND IF YOU SAY BRITNEY SPEARS I WILL KICK YOUR HEAD IN, I SWEAR!!!

So who is my Hero?
JIM HENSON
Jim had one goal...To Make Everyone in the World HAPPY. Sure it is an impossible goal, but just trying it makes it all worth while. If you could make some people, that is one step closer. He did his best to make this a better place. And he had life lesson's stronger, realler, and and more believable than any organized religion.
He taught us to be ourselves.
He taught us to not judge others.
He taught us to share.
He taught us to care.
He taught us it ain't easy...but it is worth it.
I wish I could do a small percent of what he did.
And in my own way, I try everyday.
As should everyone else.

So who is your hero?

ADD YOUR OWN CAPTION!

2006-11-07T15:08:00.000-08:00

550th Post!

2006-11-02T21:05:00.000-08:00

A Blast From The Past!
Digging through some stuff in storage and found some old photos. This one is one of my senior portraits!

Have you been hurt in an auto accident?
Remember that's All 4s for legal help!

Looking for something to watch this evening???

2006-10-31T10:47:00.000-08:00

Okay so it's Halloween. And the man who has an annual horror movie marathon has a breif list of selected veiwing for this wonderful evening.
Sure you could easily sit down and watch Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, the Exorcist, Halloween, Night of the Living Dead or The Rocky Horror Picture Show AGAIN! Not that there is anything wrong with that! Those are all excellent films. But if you are looking for something different, fresh, and actually a good film not just a great horror flick?

Here it is...

JAYE LEE VOCQUE'S TOP TEN SCAREY FLICKS THAT DESERVE A SECOND LOOK!!!

10. Dead Alive
9. The Evil Dead
8. Audition
7. Cabin Fever
6. Land of the Dead
5. Ravenous
4. The Craft
3. Christine
2. The Thing
1. Manhunter

Let me know what you think of these flicks!
Happy Veiwing!!!

And next year you could be watching something from...

4T Tuesday!!! TGIF, Tribute, Tradition, Techie!!!

2006-10-31T09:01:00.000-08:00

TGIF
Well Last Friday I went to my storage unit in Lodi. Most of the photos I have are of recent (the last two or three) years and my Jaguar wanted to see a few older photos. Since I had to dig for some stuff for the show anyway I decided to grab some old pics. Talk about stumbling down memory lane. I will have to scan some of these pics in and post them. Just looked back and realized some things. As we all do when we take a close look at ourselves. I recently quit that crap job at that horrible school district with that aweful principal. But currently I am on the sub call list at a much better school district. However I have only been working two days a week with them SO I need a steady job ASAP! I am currently filling out many many online apps and going to hit the streets pretty soon. But laundry and dishes call me today so online job searching I will go.

TRIBUTE
Well finally TRIBUTE got the opening night it deserved. Around 50 people were eating out of the palms of the actors hands. They laughed when we wanted them to, they cried when we wanted them to. If the bar just worked (always one special effect that doesn't go as planned or practiced) it would have been perfect. Now I know Andie and Steph both have posted things about how they feel about the cast and crew...now it is my turn!

MIKE: A brilliant actor whose comic timing is like a cheetah taking down a zebra. He puts so much heart and soul into this character. I owe him so much for all the opportunities he has given me while Kiley's Dinner Theatre has been open. I feel very honored to be directing the final show, and for the chance to direct him in another great performance.

CATHY: The only person I saw in this role. She brought the perfect energy and life to Sally. I know she doesn't get a chance to be on stage that often and I am very glad she said yes this time.

JASON: One of the best actors I have ever worked with. And his turn in this show will make you cry. He has come so far in his talent. I am very proud of him and have all the faith he will make it.

JEANINE: You were perfect for this role and I know it pushed you and took you to a few places you may not have wanted to go. You are doing so well and I hope you realize how good you really are.

RAE ANN: I finally get to direct you! You are such a talent, and an amazing presence on stage. I knew I needed you in this role. You take direction so well and brings such great ideas to the show.

HARRY: What can I say? Such an intensely strong actor. Seeing you in 12 Angry Men I was blown away. Then getting to play opposite you in Lion in Winter. Now I got a chance to direct you in a comic turn. You have brought Lou to the life I saw on the page, thank you.

ANDREA: You were perfect for this role. Flirty, sexy, honest, and heartfelt. Without you we wouldn't have the veiw of Scottie we need. You draw the audience in so close you can hear their heartbeat. Thank you for taking a role that forced you to deal with you self esteem.

STEPH: The first person I spoke with for crew. I needed you on lights for this one. You work so hard and pay attention so closely to details that I always have and always will listen to your opinion of my work.

TONY: You worked your ass off on this show. The set would have never have been finished without you dude. And beyond that your OCD really does help keep me on track. You will never be JB again...you earned much more respect.

SHAWN: I know we have had some rough times in the past. I am very glad to have you a part of this show. You work so hard to be good at what you do. Thank you!

JOE: You were pretty much willing to do anything on this show. And I think I made you do a bit of it all. Thank you for running.

DARYN: A beautiful song from a beautiful man. Your "Scottie's unfinished" was the perfect finishing touch for my vision. I owe you big time man!

ANNA, BEA, CAMI: Each of you helped on costuming this show and without your touches this would have failed, thank you.

GREG, JACK, ROB: My god this set looks GORGEOUS!!! And it is all because of your hard work!

One last thing: I am so very proud of this show. I have already recieved some great feedback about this show. I just wanted to say that I would jump at the chance to work with any one of you 100,000,000 times. I love you all!

Don't forget! TRIBUTE continues 11/4 - 11/18 every Saturday at Kiley's Dinner Theatre in Lodi, CA (1030 S. Hutchins Street) We also have a Sunday Mat. on 11/12. Tickets are available at (209)366-2100...and let me know where you heard about the show!

TRADITION
Sunday was my 12th Annual Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. The line-up was amazing. the costumes were great. The trivia was fun. The Texas Chainsaw Hold'Em was a blast. And I felt the movies were all great! I wish to thank each and every one of you for making it such a terrific night. Can't wait for next year! Photos and my reveiws of the film to come in another blog later.

TECHIE
So as you all know from reading past blogs (and my show blog over at www.jayeshow.blogspot.com) that in September Rising Phoenix Theatre went to San Francisco for the 15th Annual San Francisco Fringe Festival with Yorick & Co. While there friendships were cemented, new ones formed and flirtations begun. A new person who we all wished to become a friend was our amazing, talented and beautiful techie Beth. You know how it is though. You meet someone, get along great, make a connection and then life gets in the way so you see each other a year from then at the next function and sya things like "I missed you" and "Why didn't we keep in touch?" This is waht I was afraid of with our Techie. However this is not the case. After extending the invite she came down for Opening Night of Tribute and stuck around for the whole Halloween Horror Movie Marathon! She crashed with Andie and I and was met with a lot of people loving the fact she was here. I hope this friendship continues with us heading down and her heading up to see each other. Now personally I have to say a couple things to her. On behalf of all of Stockton I would like to apologize for the bar fight and your dress being ripped, at least you did have cute underwear on. Next time no bar fight (I hope). Also the cats miss you (so do Andie and I) so you have to come back! Anytime!

AND THE REST
Well I think that catches you guys up pretty good. I started playing CITY OF HEROES (my character is Druid de la Muerte) still new. Tony and I have changed the new of our production company from O3 Productions to INEVITABLE PRODUCTIONS and are continuing to work hard of finishing the script to start filming on the second weekend of December. Keep your eyes open for THINGS TO COME. I will be directing Early One Evening at the Rainbow Bar and Grille for Rising Phoenix Theatre. I am trying to find a way to be Lenny in Of Mice and Men before I turn 31. I am losing weight. I will be auditioning for The Full Monty and possibly The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas next season. I want to see if I can put a show together and take it to the Exit Theatre in SF. Other then that I am completely in love with Andie and very happy. With all the crap with my job, now that lack of money, and the stress from the show I have not had the chance to look her in the eye and let her know how much she really means to me. I hope she knows.

The 3 scariest pics of me ever!!!

2006-10-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

My "Reality" TV!!!

2006-10-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

I really don't like "reality tv." It takes jobs away from actors, writers, and directors in hollywood. Ask anyone I know and they can tell you I watch little to none. I watched one season of American Idol. I watched half a season of Amazing Race. I watched Celebrity Mole. Actually that brings me to a good point. I recently watched and loved the Celbrity Paranormal Project. I think "reality tv" with already faded celebrities is a great idea. A chance for them to restart their carrears and it doesn't take away from anyone trying to make it. Case in point I loved the Surreal Life.

Since I want to make it as a director one day, if television doesn't wish to go back to actually making good shows I guess I have to get on the "relity" bandwagon. So here are some new ideas I have come up with for "reality tv." Would you watch it?

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MOHEL- A compition show where america votes on who will be the one who gets to perform a circumcision live on the finale show. To make it more interesting they will be blind folded and do the Bris on a houseboat.

CUDDLING WITH THE STARS- For charity some celebs let america bid (on ebay of course) for who gets to cuddle with them for a limited time on couches, love seats, sleeping bags, and for the finale a bed.

WHO WANTS TO BE A WHORE?- Let's just call all these model, make-over, dating shows what they actually are. In this show we have famous whoremongers (Ben Affleck, Charlie Sheen, etc.) vote on various bedroom activities of the contestants. The winning gets a contract with Heidi Fleiss.

STALKING THE STARS- Who can successfully stalk celebs without getting caught by bodyguards, guard dogs, spouses, or police? Paparazzi give these stalkers equipment and orders on what shots they need to get. 100 points for a piece of their garbage, 500 if that garbage has bodily fluids on it, 10000 points if you can get a pic of them peeing, 50000 points if you can get their pee.

CELEBRITY STRIP POKER SHOW DOWN- Do I have to explain this one? Porn stars, models, B-list celebs, fading sex symbols all compete in a strip poker tournament. Fun for everyone.

OUIJA AMAERICA- We go house to house (around dinner time) in the Bible belt and confront them with Psychics, Ouija Boards, Tarot Cards, Crystals, etc. and force them to confront the Paranormal! Challenging their whole belief structure.

LIONS EAT CHRISTIANS- An oldie but a goodie. We are pretty close to this happening again anyway, at least on Fox.

PRESIDENT FOR A DAY- Everyone who didn't vote for Bush gets to be the President of the United States for 24 hours. Camera crews will follow the Prez around for the entire 24 hours and record their every move.

So would you watch any of these?

JAYE L. VOCQUE'S 12TH ANNUAL HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE MARATHON!!!

2006-10-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who know you are invited call me or text me and I will let you know where it is at. However for those who were there last year, same place...so see you there!
Same deal as every year...please bring food and drink! See ya all there!!!

An interesting quiz...

2006-10-19T00:47:00.000-07:00

Which poem are you?

Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll

Oh, you're silly! People probably think you're a bit kooky, but those nuts just don't realize that you've got a language all your own. But hey, you always bring a smile to people's faces.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

THE VOTES ARE FINAL!!!

2006-10-14T00:15:00.000-07:00

So here it is at long last...

The Official Line-up for the
12th Annual Jason Lee Vocque's Halloween Horror Movie Marathon!

For those of you lucky people who will be invited you will get a phone call, e-mail, text message, MySpace inviteand/or all of the above with more information on the when, where, and hows of this years function! Including the Candy Antie Break-down for this year's Texas Chainsaw Hold'Em Tournament.

And on with the movies YOU voted for...

In the NOON spot we have...

John Carpenter's In The Mouth of Madness

Next up we have the 2pm slot with the Japanese horror classic, and marking the first time a foreign film has been shown at my Horror Marathon...

Audition

At 4pm we have Micheal Keaton in a story about EVP (a creepy thing itself)

White Noise

Rob Reiner brings us the 6pm movie

Misery

The first remake EVER for my marathon is at 8pm,

The Amityville Horror

At 10pm we have the movie that kept Jea9 awake for a month...

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

and if you've made it through all of those we have the film that received the most of YOUR votes in the coveted MIDNIGHT SLOT...

Hostel

And if anyone is still up we've got one more in store for you...
@ 2am Austrailia's answer to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...

Wolf Creek

Thank you all for voting! I enjoyed it a great deal, even though I had to beg for votes near the end. And stay tuned for 2007's special
JASON LEE VOCQUE'S 13TH ANNUAL HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE MARATHON
and
YEAR ONE: JAYE VOCQUE'S COMEDY MOVIE MARATHON
...keep your eyes peeled!

Happy Friday the 13th!!!

2006-10-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
So I think everyone knows I have a fear of Jell-O. It goes back to when I was five and involves my brother, Steve McQueen, and purple Jell-O. I would rather not get into it again. Anyway...so i have been teased about this fear by many of my friends. Here is a breif list of phobias I found that are just as strange as my fear of Jell-O. In som cases I actually know people who have these fears...ENJOY!

FEAR OF:

13, number- Triskadekaphobia
How does this fear really come up? I mean if I go to Starbucks and my change is $13.13 do I refuse it? Do I order something else? WHAT DO I DO??

666, number- Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia
Is it 6s in general or just a combo of three...what if there are four 6s? 6666 still has three 6s in it. Or 6 6s...that is two sets of 666? Oh crap these people must be crippled by this post.

Alcohol- Methyphobia
Obviously not a fear I have!

Amnesia- Amnesiphobia
Thank god I can't remember if I have this fear or not!

Animals, skins of or fur- Doraphobia
I am very excited that no woman I have ever dated had this fear, otherwise...well (insert joke about me being furry here)

Bald people- Peladophobia
So can you not watch NBA or Kojak reruns? If I had this fear I could never work at Kiley's Dinner Theatre (TRIBUTE opens Oct. 21st)

Beautiful women- Caligynephobia
I obviously don't have this fear...have you seen my MySpace videos?

Bound or tied up- Merinthophobia
Again I am very happy any woman who dated me didn't have this fear...shut up! It can be fun! If done right.

Bowel movements: painful- Defecaloesiophobia
Ewww....can I just say EWWWW!

Chickens- Alektorophobia
Now I need some help on this one. Is this live chickens? Or can I no longer order the Number Six at Wendy's?

Chopsticks- Consecotaleophobia
The song? Oh you mean the eating utensil! Is it a fear? Or just lack of practice?

Clothing- Vestiphobia
Currently I do have this fear. And yes that means as you read this I am naked! Hahaha! Now you have Nudovocqaphobia...fear of Jason Lee Vocque naked!

Clowns- Coulrophobia
They float! They all float down here!

Crucifix, the or crosses- Staurophobia
See I knew there was a logical explanation for Dracula cowering at these things.

Dancing- Chorophobia
You make me feel like...oh I wanna...save the last...hold me closer tiny...

Dreams, wet- Oneirogmophobia
Eh hm...shouldn't we all be a little afraid of this?

Erect penis- Medorthophobia
FEAR IT!!!

Erection, losing an- Medomalacuphobia
Oh don't you worry about that! Remember I'm naked.

Eyes, opening one's- Optophobia
Wait! If you have this fear, how are you reading this list to see that you have this fear?

Flogging or punishment- Mastigophobia
Molly?

Flutes- Aulophobia
This one time at band camp...

Fog- Homichlophobia
Okay this is no joke really. I know a ton of people with this fear. My mom included. But then again it is a little like being afraid of clouds, isn't it?

France or French culture- Gallophobia
Ha! I knew it! You are all afraid of me!

Garlic- Alliumphobia
Again, Dracula makes so much more sense now!

Germans or German culture- Teutophobia
Is it really a fear, or just an innocent hatred?

Gravity- Barophobia
HAHAHAHA! How in the world does this scare you? I mean honestly. Do you spend all your time in the pool so you can float about it? Does Wyle E. Coyote cartoons scare the crap out of you?

Halloween- Samhainophobia
Where do you go on this day? If you lock yourself up at home, it is still Halloween. If you go to church, guess what? It is STILL Halloween! How do you avoid a whole day? Even if you sleep through it...it still happens!

Home- Ecophobia
So you stay at friends' houses? Um isn't that their home? Is it just your home you are afraid of? Or all people's homes?

Hospitals- Nosocomephobia
I have this fear to a degree. I hate hate hate hate to go to hospitals, either for me or to see others. SO If I have ever visited you in a hospital you know what it took now.

Ignored, being- Athazagoraphobia
Are you still reading this? Are you listening to me? Hello! IS ANYONE OUT THERE???

Infinity- Apeirophobia
I am afraid of forever! Time itself scares me...ahhhh! Run away! It's an ever expanse of space and time....RUN!

Insects that eat wood- Isopterophobia
I would be afraid of this too. Remember I am naked!

Jealousy- Zelophobia
A fear of jealousy? An emotional response to an emotion? Redundant?

Jews- Judeophobia
Well not Jews as a whole...just people with any of them with the names Klein, Goldman, or Speilberg.

Justice- Dikephobia
Or the lack there of...

Kissing- Philemaphobia
Who wants to face this fear? Come here...give me some sugar!

Knees- Genuphobia
I have a fear of my bad knees, does that count?

Knowledge- Gnosiophobia
If you are stupid, are you suffering from this fear, or just stupid?

Large things- Megalophobia
Hahaha! Fear me! Run!!!

Laughter- Geliophobia
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
HOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HIHIHIHI
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHASCAREDYET?HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA!

Love, falling or being in- Philophobia
But love is a many splendored thing...all you need is love...love lifts us up where we belong...

Menstruation- Menophobia
Fear or disappointment?

Mother-in-law- Pentheraphobia
Isn't this most guys' fear???

Moths- Mottephobia
I had a roommate once who had this fear. One time I caught a huge moth from out at the island where I grew up (for those of you who have been out there they bugs are "unique" is the best word for it). This moth was about the size of my fist. I put it in her room so when she came home and opened her door it flew at her, she ran out of the house screaming and stayed away for the weekend. My girlfriend and I had a great naked weekend because of it...why did I just tell you all that little story? Damn sorry. Stop reading this. What? you are still reading? Okay you asked for it! >THROWING MOTHS AT YOU<

Music- Melophobia
So if you know someone who has this fear you can get them out of your house by singing? Funny! That's how I clear a room too.

Needles- Aichmophobia
I knew a guy (I won't say who) that punched a doctor who tried to give him a shot once.

Nudity- Gymnophobia
I do not have this fear! This is the exact opposite fear as Vestiphobia. As you now I know I currently have...just reminding you that I am naked!

Old people- Gerontophobia
>insert ROB IS SO OLD joke here<

Otters- Lutraphobia
Okay, this one confuses me. Is it the cute little animals who do human things with their hands? What about Pops? If you reach into a freezer and there is an Otter Pop...do you scream?

Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth-Arachibutyrophobia
You may or may not know this but Charlie Brown had this fear. Partially because Charles Schultz hated the feeling.

Phobias- Phobophobia
I have a fear of fear...which just scares the crap out of me...and it scares me that I am scared...which is both frightening and annoying

Poetry- Metrophobia
There once was a man from Nantucket...

Politicians- Politicophobia
All of America should have this fear NOW!

Religion or gods- Theophobia
See I am not an Atheist!

Right side, things on the right side of the body- Dextrophobia
Okay so if you have this fear, and then you have a stroke that stops your left side from working...what do you do?

Semen- Spermatophobia
But I heard it was good for your face and hair. Honestly, try it...

Sex- Genophobia
THANK GOD ANDIE DOES NOT HAVE THIS FEAR!!! Because she rocks my world!!!

Stage fright- Topophobia
Okay this one is worded funny. Is it that you have Stage Fright...or you have a fear of Stage Fright? So you are afraid of being afraid to get on stage?

Stairs or climbing stairs- Climacophobia
So Cathy has this fear, so I am not going to make fun of it at all. I have helped her down and up flights of stairs many times because of this fear. So no jokes...damn this is hard...so many jokes in my head...no I promise no jokes...argh...

Theaters- Theatrophobia
Most of Lodi has this fear apparently. No wonder Kiley's is closing.

Thunder- Ceraunophobia
This season all teams facing Stockton in the ECHL should have this fear!

Undressing in front of someone- Dishabillophobia
It makes me really uneasy to do this for the first 1,348,916 times or so.

Urine or urinating- Urophobia
Okay, this has got to be the worst fear ever. You can never pee without being scared. That would suck...you must always be dancing...unless you have Chorophobia...if you have Urophobia for too long you will be rushed to a hospital...unless you have Nosocomephobia...god that would suck...I guess if you had Optophobia you could always pee with your eyes closed...just hope you hit the seat

Ventriloquist's dummy- Automatonophobia
Because inanimate objects being manhandled is a bit freaky, honestly.

Virgins or young girls- Parthenophobia
This is why I never was with a virgin, it is a very scarey thing.

Weight, gaining- Pocrescophobia
Here is my problem...I have Pocrescophobia...and I eat when I am afraid...bad combo!

Work- Ergophobia
Okay can i get a doctor to write me a note then?

Theatre Geek? DUH!

2006-10-10T00:15:00.000-07:00

REAL NAME: Jaye L. Vocque

LAST SHOW YOU ADDED TO YOUR RESUME: Yorick & Company @ The 15th Annual San Francisco Fringe Festival

LAST SHOW YOU AUDITIONED FOR: Seussical the Musical

DID YOU GET INTO IT: Yep, General Genghis Khan Schmitz

LAST SONG YOU USED AT AN AUDITION: Grow for Me from my favorite musical Little Shop of Horrors

FAVORITE THEATRE (VENUE): The Empire was really nice, had a great time at Hutchins Street Square, Runaway Stage has an awesome stage, BIT was good, but I would give anything to be back at the Exit in San Francisco

FAVORITE PLAYS: Flowers for Algernon, The Elephant Man, Of Mice and Men, Yorick and Company, The Boys Next Door, The Tempest, A Midsummer Nights Dream

FAVORITE MUSICALS: Little Shop of Horrors, Assassins, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Full Monty, The Producers

FAVORITE ROLE & FROM WHAT SHOW: Bart in Yorick & Company, Norman in Boys Next Door, Geoffrey in Lion in Winter, Mr. Van Daan in Diary of Anne Frank

NAME A THEATRE SUPERSTITION: Break a Leg!

LAST PART YOU PLAYED IN A SHOW: Bart in Yorick & Co.

YOUR GOAL IN SHOW BUSINESS: To be a full-time paid Director

FAVORITE DIRECTOR: ME! No seriously...Rob Chase, except during notes

WHAT WAS YOUR VERY FIRST SHOW: I was the Mayor of Munchkinland at the age of six.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DANCE SOLO: Once, I don't like to talk about it

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SINGING SOLO: In Seussical, Maggie made me feel like i could do it and Baker supported me all the way

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BOW: A couple of times now.

NAME A SHOW YOU'VE DONE TWO TIMES OR MORE: A Midsummer Night's Dream, You Can't Take It With You, Yorick & Co., Rumors, Bob's Your Auntie

HAVE YOU BEEN TO NEW YORK: I wish!

HAVE YOU BEEN TO LA: Tried going once besides on vacation, bad experience but glad I tried.

SCARIEST PART OF AN AUDITION: Laying on the couch as the director starts undressing...wait does that not happen to everyone?

BEST PART OF AN AUDITION: Smoking outside, shaking, trying to get up the courage to go inside

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Bell Book & Candle, Guys and Dolls

NAME A SHOW YOU COULD DO FOR YEARS: Yorick & Co.

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO DO BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN IN: Of Mice and Men, but it doesn't look likely

NAME A PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO WORK WITH AGAIN: The Entire cast of Tribute, Shaun Baker, Juan Flores, Cliff Collins Jr., Sonja Phipps, Rich Phipps, Derek Giovanni, Lori Cook Bard, Joe Smith, Karene Morris, crap am I forgetting anyone? Oh well I am sure you will let me know if I did!

WHAT ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR NEXT: Not a damn thing...I am a director damnit!

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PERFORMING: Since the age of six!

DO YOU CARRY YOUR HEADSHOTS AROUND WITH YOU: Why does a director need a headshot?

DO YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PAST CAST MEMBERS: What better way to cast them again?

ON A SCALE OF 1-10 HOW IMPORTANT IS GETTING PAID: 10. But I do it for free too. oh are we still talking theatre?

WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE PERFORMANCE: Performing The Boys Next Door and my parents drove up to watch, I made my mom cry.

WHAT'S SOMETHING EMBARRASSING OR UNEXPECTED THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE ON STAGE: Went onstage forgetting my pants in a quick change and did the whole scene in tights and a dress shirt

WHO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON YOU HAVE WORKED WITH ON STAGE OR OFF IN THEATRE? Do i really have to answer this? I mean I am pretty sure most people know my answer the most difficult person I have directed and acted with are the same woman...I mean "person"

EVER BEEN NAKED ON STAGE?: Just you wait I heard SCT may be doing the Full Monty

WHO OR WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INSPIRATION OR INFLUENCE? Dan Cassel

IF YOU COULD BE A RICH FAMOUS PORN STAR OR A STRUGGLING THEATRE ACTOR WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Porn already has a big fat hairy guy who can do amazing things with his tongue!

BEST PROFESSIONAL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: Les Miserables...blows everything else out of the water

BEST COLLEGE SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: Burn This and How I Learned to Drive at Delta College

BEST AMATEUR/COMMUNITY SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: Chapter Two at Kiley's Dinner Theatre, Of Mice and Men at San Jose Stage

BEST HIGH SCHOOL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: Dark Brilliance at Lincoln High

ONSTAGE, HAVE YOU EVER...

a) Been killed? yes

b Been drunk / stoned? both as a character and really

c) Played someone half your age? yes even more so in Peanuts

d) Played someone twice your age? Bart!

(e) Cried? yes many times

f) Fired a gun? yep

g) Driven a car? a motorcycle in Rocky Horror

h) Been drenched? yep

i) Been in a dream sequence? yes

j) Been kissed? yes, thanks to Emily

IF YOU WERE ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN AND WHAT ROLE WOULD YOU PLAY?: John Merrick in The Elephant Man

ANDIE

2006-10-09T00:32:00.000-07:00

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Been in a Warholish mood...

2006-10-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

And the list so far...

2006-10-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

So not everyone has voted still on my Horror Movie Marathon. Many of you haven't voted because you weren't going to be able to attend, or you don't want to attend. That is fine, I would still like you to vote but that was entirely up to you. I do have several people that I know are wanted to come, but have been just a little lazy when it comes to voting...
Well I am NOT going to repost the huge list of movies that are up for voting (posted it twice...you can find it on here if you just look)...however I am going to post the results so far...

9 votes-

Hostel

8 votes-

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

7 votes-

The Amityville Horror (remake)

6 votes-

White Noise
Misery

5 votes-

Wolf Creek
Audition
Cube
In the Mouth of Madness
The Prophecy
Skeleton Key

4 votes-

Audrey Rose
Red Eye
Gothika
The Ugly
The Ninth Gate
Ravenous
The Craft

3 votes-

Idenity
Dawn of the Dead (remake)
Fraility
Manhunter
Lady in White
The Watcher in the Woods
Flatliners

2 votes-

Needful Things
Stir of Echoes
Night of the Demons
High Tension
The Thing
Return of the Living Dead 3
The Invisible Man
The Mothman Propechies
Stigmata

1 vote-

Undead
They
Anaconda
Ginger Snaps
Riding the Bullet
Jacob's Ladder
The Good Son

So if you haven't voted yet...please you have until the 13th. Then as you can see, because there are only 10 spots for the marathon, we may have to have a vote off.

On a WARHOL kick lately...

2006-10-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

So here is my waste of time...hope you enjoy!

View Photo Slideshow

Make a Free Flash Slideshow

If you didn't see you in warhol form on the slideshow let me know and I will do one for you!

Just one of those brains...

2006-10-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

How I feel today. Woke up in a yuck mood. Looked in the mirror and wanted to smash it. Very hungry, don't want to eat. Why is it I can have one weekend when everything makes me feel great about how I look. Everything goes right in my brain. People look at me differently, but in a good way. And then not four days later I feel like a blob of human waste! I know I shouldn't feel this way. I have a beautiful girlfriend who treats me great. But days like today I can't shake the feeling that she has NO business being with a fat pig like me. She is talented, smart, romantic, funny, and very sexy. Me? None of the above! And what is worse it all started with just my looks, now it is sneaking into everything. Will a day come where I stop hating myself? I have fixed a lot of problems in my life. Weeded out the bad elements both in myself and in the people I surround myself with. But still I have days like this where the sight of me brings my to tears.
Not looking for any of those "But Jaye..." e-mails. Or any of those helpful incouraging comments. I wouldn't pay attention to them anyway, not today. I just need everyone to understand that it is not days like today that get to me, it is me that gets to days like today.
Sorry for the rant, maybe I won't post this.

Soundtrack of my Life!

2006-10-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks Tropicana Anna AKA Moth Girl AKA I Never for this from a long time back.

Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end. Then for some extra fun, look up the lyrics and post the ones that make the song FIT to the scene.

Opening Scene: Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer

Wake Up Scene: Wake Me Up - Kyle Vincent

Wake me up
When the world's worth waking up for
When the dreams
Don't stop at my door

Average Day: Bad Day - Daniel Powter

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

1st Date: A Little Less Conversation - Elvis vs. JXL

Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease

Falling in Love: Your Song - Elton John

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Fight Scene: L.A. is Burning - Bad Religion

When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
palm trees are candles in the murder wind
so many lives are on the breeze
even the stars are ill at ease
and Los Angeles is burning

Break Up Scene: How Blue Can You Get? - B.B. King

I've been downhearted baby
ever since the day we met
Our love is nothin' but the blues
Baby how blue can you get

Back together: At Last - Etta James

My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

Secret Love: You're Beautiful - James Blunt

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Life's OK: Footloose - Kenny Loggins

You're playing so cool obeying every rule
Deep way down in your heart
You're burning yearning for some- somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you it will if you don't even try

Mental Breakdown: Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

Driving: Dragula - Rob Zombie

Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula

Learning a Lesson: I'm Gonna Be A Wheel Someday - Sheryl Crow

I'm gonna be a wheel someday
I'm gonna be somebody
I'm gonna be a real gone cat
Then I won't want you.

Deep Thought: Minority - Green Day

stepped out of the line
like a sheep runs from the herd
marching out of time
to my own beat now
the only way I know

Flashback: Free as a Bird - The Beatles

what ever happend to
the lives that we once new
can we relive it without each other
where did we lose the touch
that seemed to mean so much

Partying: Drunken Lullabies - Flogging Molly

Must it take a life for hateful eyes
To glisten once again
Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess
Singin' drunken lullabies

Happy Dance: Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

I'm burnin' through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Regretting: He Went to Paris - Jimmy Buffett

Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion
If he likes you he'll smile then he'll say
Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic
But I had a good life all the way.

Long Night Alone: Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet

But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try

Death Scene: One For My Baby - Frank Sinatra

I got the routine,
so drop another nickel in the machine
I'm feelin' so bad,
wish you'd make the music pretty and sad

Closing Credits: Champagne Supernova - Oasis

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?

Go ahead you know you wanna download it!

Letter of Rec.(A pick me up I needed today)

2006-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

To Whom It May Concern;

In the fall of 1994, I began teaching at Bear Creek High School in north Stockton, CA. On the first period of the first day, a student entered my class, armed with a suspicious, doubting demeanor. He was taller than I was, had a full beard, wore aviator type sunglasses, was clothed in black with a full length trenchcoat, and was dotted from head to toe with buttons. He took a seat toward the back of the class, kept the sunglasses on, and literally dared me to teach him anything. I was convinced that my life was over. As the lesson began, I outlined the course of study for this advanced acting class. We would study the 'method', but as interpreted and taught by Uta Hagen in her book "Respect for Acting". I mentioned that it would be helpful if students would buy this book and that there were a couple of copies available at the local bookstore.

The next day, the same student came back to my class. Tucked under his arm was a copy of Hagen's book, with a bookmark showing that the first third of the book had been covered. The sunglasses came off, and for the first time I was introduced to Jason Vocque.

What a rare privilege it is to be asked to construct a letter of recommendation for Jason. From that first year, we have enjoyed a friendship that surpasses the traditional teacher/student connection. I have had the unique pleasure to watch Jason grow from a young man to an adult. Through our work in the theatre, Jason has developed an understanding of life and an appreciation of the human soul, as scribed by the great playwrights of the world. Through our mutual interests in music, many thoughtful discussions have taken place. Through his devotion to family, I shared his wedding day, along with many others, as a celebration of life and love.

All these experiences have shaped Jason into the man he is today. His work over the past years has centered on those sweet children with special needs. He displays a boundless sense of energy and affection on behalf of these children. One needs only to watch Jason in the classroom for a few moments to understand the love and deep dignity he provides. He is an outstanding example of charity, character, and integrity.

Outside the classroom, Jason continues to exercise his theatrical muscles. He has directed numerous productions in the Stockton/Sacramento/Rocklin area. He has been recognized by local and regional theatre consortiums for his excellence. His directorial services are in demand, and continue to be in demand. Having watched Jason direct, I can express with confidence that the same human characteristics he uses with his school children are used as he works with his actors, actresses, and others.

With great honor, I recommend Jason for whatever position you have available. He will be a valuable assest to your organization, and will enrich the lives of those with whom he comes in contact. I have the highest respect for Jason, and would urge you to give him your fullest attention. Please do not hesitate to contact me for further information.

Sincerely,

Rich Harlow

Filming is slated...

2006-09-26T08:24:00.001-07:00

It is official...

in association with...

Is slated to begin filming on...

THINGS TO COME

A short Zombie flick written by Tony Yaghi Jr. & Jason Lee Vocque

During the first two weekends of December, THINGS TO COME will begin.
Needed still are tons and tons of extra Zombies.
Please let me know if you are interested.

THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!

2006-09-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

Doing a lot of soul searching lately. I have come to some major conclusions. Number one being, that the reality I am living was not meant for me. Somehow through the madness and misstepping I have found my amazing girlfriend. She ends my list of things going right. So you look at the rest of my existance and just have to shake your head. I look around and love doing theatre, however the theatre I was guarenteed able to direct at is closing so will make my choices limited from here on out. I still have Rising Phoenix whom I love but currently they get one show a year up off the ground and I need a bit more then that. Tony the Shark and I are writing a short movie script which I am thrill at, perhaps this will help push me forward into the title of filmmaker. But after two weeks of living the dream, being recognized wherever I went. Living in the big city, surrounded by other theatre folk, talking shop and down right loving life. And then to return to the HELL that is my job. I used to hold my head up proudly and say I worked with special ed. kids, I used to stand up for public education, I used to be fine with taking a smaller paycheck armed with the knowledge that I was arming others with knowledge. But no more. Between my school district not knowing how to handle behavior kids, a principal more focused on schedules and making sure he is in control to actually do something about the situation, and the uselessness that is no child left behind I am officially OUT. No I did not quit, but like most people shuffling through their day, I am a living breathing walking talking zombie. I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. This district that I work for has taken an individual that used to stand proud to call himself an educator, that wanted no craved to work in special education because he knew no one wanted to do it, they took this man a pushed him and shoved him into less than a year a person not caring what happens. I am going through the motions, I am sleepwalking life right now. Things will be better at the show, things will be better with friends, things will be better with my girlfriend, things will never be better again with this job, my carrear path, or the reality that no one buts myself should hold the blame that I am living. No more. I have too many things going for me to be forced into focusing on the things going against me. It is time for me to leave this field behind and find something else. All with the focus on me doing what I was able to do for the last two weeks. Loved ones getting together doing what we love no holds barred. My job is not what I am, I am a director damnit! I take pride in that. I am a friend! I take pride in that! I am Andrea's boyfriend and one day husband. I take pride in that! I am Elmer's brother! I take pride in that. I am Uncle Jaye to Matthew, Virginia, Haley, and Ronan. I am take pride in that!
This is my letter of declaration.
I declare all out war on my reality.
I will shape it into the life I was built to have.
Keeping with my those aspects that help hold up those ideals.
And banishing those aspects that stand in my way.
Who's with me???

The Thrilling Adventures of GEN "Y": EPISODE 3: But you've got to know this one thing...

2006-09-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

Okay so no...you don't get to know everything...I will leave a bunch of stuff out...however let me hint a little...Gate got to see Key in a whole new light on Friday nite and to make things fair Bone saw a whole new side of Gimme in the wee small hours of Sunday morning...

(NOTE: As with the previous other two Episodes this one is written by yours truely YORICK. I am telling the story because everyone else may screw it up...well that and they may focus on the person they were most focused on through the weekend, and we need to be fair here.)

THE MYSTERIOUS 20 BUCKS

Thank goodness we all packed up before we passed out Saturday nite. We tidied up the room and after everyone got showered and dress (not together, although I am sure there was at least a couple of offers) we lugged our thing downstairs to check out. The YMCA was nice enough to store all our crap for the rest of the day for only $2 a bag...cheap by any standards and well worth it. While checking out we were informed that we had each paid a twenty dollar security deposit and it was being refunded to us...this was news to us. Any way we did the math in our collective heads it just didn't work out. Theories were passed around like, "maybe it is factored into the cost of the room" and "perhaps it is the room key deposit." At any rate we all had an extra 20 big ones in our pockets and decided to head off for a good breakfast (forgoing the YMCA continental breakfast) at the Barbary Coast.
On our walk there we realized that we had become no longer tourists, but a part of this place. We were regulars now...how you ask? Gate Keeper turned to Key Master and said "hey look it's O'Cyrus!" Key asked "who?" Gate responded "the homeless guy who recited poetry to us last night." Leaving me to think, when you know the homeless by name, you have found a home yourself.
Here we were, young, sexy as hell, fun loving, hyper, and up early enough in the day to actually get some shit done. After some well deserved coffee and croisants we hit the theatre to check the schedule and plan our attack on the shows playing that day.

AN EMPTY SUPPLY CLOSET

So we were up so early that we had plenty of time before catching the first show. So what did we do? Back to the Castro! A breif Muni ride later and there we were. Stepping off the Muni we are confronted with a homeless man. But as proving the difference between the Tenderloin and the Castro, this homeless man did not stalk us, he simply stayed back and held out his hand and stated "does anyone have a dollar for an incredibly good looking homeless man?" This was a clever line, he was much better looking then the guys we had been used to. This line probably gets him alot. It worked on us.
Not two steps further and we see yet another just up our alley" site.
Here double parked in the street is a graphite Mini Cooper. Parked next to the curb is a matching Mini. The gentleman who was double parked was slowly putting yellow Post It Notes (I was reminded of the TV show Dead Like Me, one of my favs for obvious reasons) all over the other Mini's windows.
We asked... what was going on.
He said... it was his boyfriend's birthday and he wanted to do something fun.
We then asked... how it was going.
He said... slower then he thought.
And where you could almost hear the A-Team theme click on in all of our heads. Gate very manly threw his cigarette away. Bone dropped his bag. Never and Key jumped over and grabbed some post-its. Team GEN "Y" was here to help! Not two minutes later the car was covered with these post-its with cute little saying on them like "love", "I heart You", and "69"...I wanted to keep that one.
We moved on to window shop a bit, I tried on a ton of hats. And as if to further prove we all belonged here I WAS RECOGNIZED! The manager of a very nice clothes shop (who was playing the theme from Xanadu) said "see I told you I saw a guy walking around with a skull yesterday." Which means he saw us somewhere in SF because I didn't go to the Castro yesterday. We convince him to hold me up over a headless manaquin and I was suddenly very neatly dressed!
Being we were all feeling so...happy. We went to the rainbow steps and took a group picture. Smiling pretty it was time to move back to the Muni to head back for our day of entertainment.

THE KING AND I

We were just in time to catch The Thrilling Adventures of Elvis in Space 2. Gate Keeper, Bone Daddy and myself were all really looking forward to it. Everyone else simply didn't want to split our happy little group up.
Bone and Gate enjoyed the show a lot. I was kinda split. It was over the top, campy, corny and a bit insane combining Oedipus and Elvis (in space). The acting was "eh" but Stevie was Super Sweet! And I had to agree with Bone Daddy on the fact that Robot Charlie Hodge was hot...what can I say I guess silver women do it for me.
However the rest of the group had the same bad taste in their mouths about the show that Bone and I did about Revolving Madness.
We did plug the hell out of our show to the audience and to the preformers. Later Elvis made it to our show, I wish Stevie would've been there, that would've been super sweet!

HEY ISN'T SHE THE ONE WHO SHOVED HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT

Next up was one of the two shows that everyone was buzzing about (after Jimmy's show of course) Baby Love. We met up with Iddy Biddy, Cue Ball, and was also finally joined by a man I will refer to as Old Guy. And somehow we all got in to see the show.
WOW! It starts off so......strong. The one woman show begins with her rolling around on a table (substituted as a bed) as if she was in the middle of sex. When the lights came up fully my jaw dropped! Holy Crap! This was the woman who shoved her tongue in my mouth at the opening niht party. I was suddenly very happy to be there. Her show was great. Very funny, wonderfully sexual, and intelligent. I could tell that Gimme A Warning was a enjoying it a bit more then everyone else, being she had gone through childbirth (and all the sexuality that this woman was overflowing with). At one point Christen (oh yeah the gal who slipped my the tongue had a name, sorry if I forgot to mention that) pulled out a teddy bear and simulated breast feeding it...I had never wanted to be a teddy bear so bad in my life. Now I felt a little cheated that all I got at the opening night party was the tongue...oh well we still have the closing night party.
The show was amazing and no one was disappointed.

BART'S BATHROOM ADVENTURE

So time was running thin after Baby Love. Sure we were all high...on life. But it was coming close to our show time and we still had one more show we wanted to catch beforehand. However Bone Daddy still needed to ger into make-up and costume. Being that we did not have access to our dressing room until right before our show time (I guess they needed to fully stock it with green M&M's like I requested) poor Bone had to find an alternative to a dressing room...a bathroom stall.
In 20 mintues he was able to get into full make-up and costume in a single bathroom stall (the handicapped one was taken). He balanced a mirror on his knee while over-hearing a couple of guys discuss catching Yorick & Co. later because they heard it was "damn funny."

SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF PORN

Bone came out of the restroom looking like Rip Van Winkle just in time to meet up with us and Monroe-like and her daughter Veruca Salt to catch the show Eating Skeletons. I was instantly arroused (or it may have been still in me from wishing I was a teddy bear). "Eating Skeletons?" I thought "sounds like an adult film made just for me!" NOPE I was wrong. It was however a very funny, fast paced comedy about dealing with anerexia...yes I know not a funny subject. But it was dealt with through three great female performers, one of which (the one I took a picture with as well at the opening night party...no tongue this time) played multiple characters. These ladies were great, and were going to return the favor and come see us right after...literaly!

OUR HOUSE, IS A VERY VERY VERY PACKED HOUSE

There was a bit of trouble putting up the set this time. Bone (nervous as all hell, yet again) was stuck holding up the flat while the audience filed in. To make the best of it he drank gin and took pictures of the audience posing. We had quite a few other shows in the audience Elvis, Baby Love, The Neon Man, Eating Skeletons, and Revolving Madness were all represented in the crowd. The show was dead on...small pun intended. Everyone did a great job and I of course was the star I was meant to be!
As we loaded up our set we all were stopped by many people to praise our show. Neon Man told us he "didn't know anyone was doing good fashioned comedy!" And that really is what we are. A plus B equals C comedy. Here is the concept...and here are all the laughs! Sure we have a message of not taking life to seriously and live life the way you feel. But we don't hit you over the head with it, we are too busy making you laugh.
We all felt great...but it was spoiled by the fact that we were about to leave the city, the "Y", the Fringe, and the new friends we had come to feel as home for the last 3 days...

THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

We walk...very slowly...back to the "Y" to collect our things. Gate Keeper had a date so he left us and it felt like our happy family was missing something. We grab our bags and to the theatre to grab the box office. Then off we go to BART for the sad and less chatty ride home.

REALITY CHECK

The next morning it was felt by Bone Daddy. It was felt by Gimme A Warning. It was felt by Key Master. It was felt by The Wizard of Gay. It was felt by I Never. It was felt by Gate Keeper on the BART ride home. And it was felt by me.
REALITY.
We had lived the dream for three days. We were performers. Plain and simple. We were in a show, saw shows, talked about shows, and publicized our show. We found a theatre utopia and loved it!
Gimme said that it made her look at what her life was during the three days and it was where she had wanted her life to be, and then what her life was.
Bone said he felt that he had found a place for him. For once he didn't have to fain interest in sujects he didn't know or understand like football and computers. He didn't have to fake like he knew was talking about, to hide the fact he thinks he is stupid. He felt like he was in his element, and then was yanked out of it by Monday!
As for me I know that after this last show this upcoming Saturday, and the following closing night party that I will be back on my stand and collect dust until the next time Old Guy gets the show underway.
Everyone else kinda kept to themselves on their feelings of reality sinking in and it not really being the reality we wanted for us.
I didn't mean to end this blog about our amazing high of a weekend on a sad note, but that is what our weekend ended on.
However to help bring us out of it...on the car ride home Gimme, Bone, Key and myself see a truck load of sheep on the Altamont...we laugh and Key texts Gate about his sheep...and in SF somewhere Gate had to explain (through his laughter) to his date why he had dreams of sheep two nights earlier.
Yes Gate Keeper...there were sheep in here!